I just wrote a script for a teen vampire flick, because no one ever thought of that before. I call it "Equinox", not to be confused with any other vampire flick named for astrological insignifica.
Hed: I'm really miserable.
Dumbella: But you're really hot!
Hed: Beauty is fleeting.
Dumbella: Not for you, because you live forever. Bite me and never shall we part.
Hed: No! You don't want this!
Dumbella: Why? Is it lonely?
Hed: I have a tight family.
Dumbella: Other than that, is it lonely?
Hed: I actually have miserable vamp friends all over the world.
Dumbella: But us humans must hate you.
Hed: No, we've been living amongst you for a hundred years. No one seems to catch on.
Dumbella: The sunlight can kill you, right?
Hed: No, we sparkle in the sun. It would be really cool if it weren't so miserable.
Dumbella: And you scrounge for your meals. That's sad.
Hed: Actually we're fabulously wealthy and we don't have to work a day in our lives. Our undead, miserable lives, that is.
Dumbella: So you're like people except... ?
Hed: Super powers.
Dumbella: Rich, attractive, friends, family, superpowers, eternal youth. What's the downside?
Hed: It's miserable.
Dumbella: Bite me!
Hed: No.
Dumbella: Why?
Hed: You're boring. If I turn you vamp, your boringness will increase until you make Mary Worth look exciting. The very air will crackle with your borinitude.
Dumbella: Well, if I'm the most boring thing ever, wouldn't that be a bit cool?
Hed: Your brand of boring still couldn't hold a candle to a morning spent waiting in line at the DMV. Don't overrate yourself.
Dumbella: I can't win for losing.
Hed: I never understood that expression until just now.
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