Monday, July 12, 2010

The Marmaduke movie is the sign of the apocalypse.

Temperature is a very silent factor when you run. When it is comfortable before you start, that means that it will be too hot when you’re a few miles in. It should be a little cold. 50-60 F is the optimum temperature range for running. That seems cold to me, but my experience is right in line.

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So as I was thinking that it was hot in my office today, an email came in to tell me that it was hot in the office today. Apparently, the heating and air conditioning systems are duking it out for supremacy. Right now, Team Heat is up by 7 points, but if Freeze Meister scores a touchdown, they could tie it – and if they go for two, they could possibly even pull ahead. Well, you know what they say about state workers and HVAC systems.

… And since you know, maybe you could tell me.

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The Mayans predicted the world will end on 12/21/2012. Some Christian people take this seriously, thus sacrilegiously embracing a pagan religious prophecy. If they are atheist, then why do they have faith in this ancient myth? But horoscopes run in newspapers every day without comment.

On the other hand, the Mayan culture is dead. Predictions by dead, ancient cultures are always true! All those movies couldn’t have lied to us! A doomsday prophecy from the Hindus is barely worth a chuckle, since the Hindus are still popular in India. They made the mistake of not dying first.

There’s nothing in Mayan lore about it really being the end of time. It’s more like Mayan Y2K. The whole thing involves the Sun crossing the Galactic equator. It is no small feat to calculate that because you can’t see the Milky Way and the Sun simultaneously. The Mayans also thought that the world was flat and gods roamed the sky in ethereal canoes. But the Mayans sometimes reference the Milky Way as a giant vagina. And when you have a mythos like this, how could you possibly be wrong about the apocalypse?

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Do you find it ironic that gay people can’t get married in laid-back, swingin’ California, but they can in red-meat Iowa?

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I’ve been listening to some Pavarotti CDs. His voice is really great, but the arrangements are awful. He’s half-heartedly trying to be both pop and opera (popera?), and failing at both. If you want good Italian opera, try Andrea Bocelli.

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Jessica Biel thinks her career is being hurt by the fact that she’s too good looking. Yeah. I agree. Normally, actresses are butt-ugly. What? Hollywood is full of hotties? Ok, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

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Exciting times in Rex Morgan! He’s about to see his first patient since 2006! In Apartment 3G one of the girls broke up with a boring boyfriend. Mary Worth is just warming up in another meddlerama with an old friend that she’s never mentioned before. Mark Trail is on the case of criminals lurking deep in forests. Garfield is either hungry or sleepy. Marmaduke does dog stuff while humans say banal things – but he’s still a BIG DOG. Let's get him a movie deal.

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