I have to regale you with how awesome I am. I did a test run around my neighborhood to see how I would fare in the upcoming 5K. I'm not rested enough to be in "race shape", nor have I really been practicing my speed as much as I should. But, I broke my record. A long time ago, I did my neighborhood loop in 21:12. I don't know exactly when, and it has made me think that perhaps this time was a more of a myth or a misrecollection than the truth. No matter, because now my record stands at 20:52. At the 5K mark, I was also ahead of my PR, set last August. So I'm awesome, no?
**********************************
A while ago, conservative columnist Cal Thomas compared the circuit court's overturning of the imfamous California Proposition 8 against gay marriage to Julius Ceasar's poer to give a thumbs up or down to gladiators at the "Coliseum". There is a Coliseum in modern Los Angeles, but in Rome, there is a "Collusseum". Julius Ceasar was also killed in 44 BC. The Collusseum was built in 70 AD. Why should Cal let facts get in the way of a hackneyed analogy?
******************************
So Elana Kagan is now doing her job on the Supreme Court, and yet the entire country is not being overrun by hippie peaceniks, Communists or Islamic terrorists. She got confirmed despite the best efforts of the Republicans and their trash talk. Their angle was to take it as a given that her mentor Thorgood Marshall was a menace to America. That only works in those elite, exclusive Republican smoking chambers. To everyone else, Marshall was an American historical figure who died with a sterling reputation 17 years ago. For their next trick, Republicans should try tarnishing that Paul Revere a$$hole for waking up half the city one night.
************************
Speaking of noise, you know those guys with the huge woofers in their cars and booming bass that you can feel in your chest a mile and a half down the road? I always shut off my own music when they come because theirs is so much better. Yesterday I drove 20 minutes out of my way to keep up with this dude because I got hooked on the kickin' beat. Thank you, oh thank you Mr. Boom-boom, for sharing your sweet music with me and the world!
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Friday, October 8, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Reviews: Book that you will never read and music you will never listen to
I listened to Kate Bush's CD "Aerial", in which she sings passionately about her washing machine and also sings the number Pi out to 112 decimal places. Take that, Weird Al Yankovic! Kate Bush is impervious to your sophmoric parodies. Ha!
+++++++++++++++++++++
So I wanted to read something upscale, Like William Faulkner. I also read the entire Bible and the entire US Constitution and Amendments. Why? To wave around in other people's faces, really. You'd be surprised how infrequently the occasion arises and I gain credibility even less often than that. So I chose the shortest of Faulkner's novels, which was "As I Lay Dying". The story is conveyed as a series of narratives, each 2-3 pages long, from various characters in the action. It's a given that every time I start, I'm interrupted by kids or wife or phone or doorbell, so I thought that it would be a good fit for my lifestyle.
So far, this is my 11th attempt to read, and I finished about 5 of these mini-testimonies. So far I gather that there's this lady and she's dying.
++++++++++++++++++++
I finally got the time in to read "As I Lay Dying". Not much happens throughout the whole novel. Not much happens. If it were not told from multiple, rapidly changing perspectives, it would be impossibly dull. With this literary gimmick, it is still dull, just dull within the realm of the physically possible.
+++++++++++++++++++
Celtic Woman is coming to Lexington. Woo hoo. They're a band. It's not one woman, it's like 4-6 women, like "The Lone Rangers". I got thier 2009 "Best-of" disc from the library. Their discography is a debut CD, the obligatory Christmas CD and their Greatest Hits. How much are they really adding to the cumulative musical lexicon by adding yet another rendition of "Oh Danny Boy"? Anyway, the same picture of the Celtic Woman is on the cover of all their CDs, but not in the photos of the actual singers. Why is that?
At least Celtic Woman sings Celtic songs, unlike Celtic Thunder, that doesn't (and isn't thunderous, either). Do all Celtic vocal acts need the name "Celtic" in their name to announce their musical style? I don't know. Go ask Metallica.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++
So I wanted to read something upscale, Like William Faulkner. I also read the entire Bible and the entire US Constitution and Amendments. Why? To wave around in other people's faces, really. You'd be surprised how infrequently the occasion arises and I gain credibility even less often than that. So I chose the shortest of Faulkner's novels, which was "As I Lay Dying". The story is conveyed as a series of narratives, each 2-3 pages long, from various characters in the action. It's a given that every time I start, I'm interrupted by kids or wife or phone or doorbell, so I thought that it would be a good fit for my lifestyle.
So far, this is my 11th attempt to read, and I finished about 5 of these mini-testimonies. So far I gather that there's this lady and she's dying.
++++++++++++++++++++
I finally got the time in to read "As I Lay Dying". Not much happens throughout the whole novel. Not much happens. If it were not told from multiple, rapidly changing perspectives, it would be impossibly dull. With this literary gimmick, it is still dull, just dull within the realm of the physically possible.
+++++++++++++++++++
Celtic Woman is coming to Lexington. Woo hoo. They're a band. It's not one woman, it's like 4-6 women, like "The Lone Rangers". I got thier 2009 "Best-of" disc from the library. Their discography is a debut CD, the obligatory Christmas CD and their Greatest Hits. How much are they really adding to the cumulative musical lexicon by adding yet another rendition of "Oh Danny Boy"? Anyway, the same picture of the Celtic Woman is on the cover of all their CDs, but not in the photos of the actual singers. Why is that?
At least Celtic Woman sings Celtic songs, unlike Celtic Thunder, that doesn't (and isn't thunderous, either). Do all Celtic vocal acts need the name "Celtic" in their name to announce their musical style? I don't know. Go ask Metallica.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Marmaduke movie is the sign of the apocalypse.
Temperature is a very silent factor when you run. When it is comfortable before you start, that means that it will be too hot when you’re a few miles in. It should be a little cold. 50-60 F is the optimum temperature range for running. That seems cold to me, but my experience is right in line.
+++++++++
So as I was thinking that it was hot in my office today, an email came in to tell me that it was hot in the office today. Apparently, the heating and air conditioning systems are duking it out for supremacy. Right now, Team Heat is up by 7 points, but if Freeze Meister scores a touchdown, they could tie it – and if they go for two, they could possibly even pull ahead. Well, you know what they say about state workers and HVAC systems.
… And since you know, maybe you could tell me.
+++++++++++++++
The Mayans predicted the world will end on 12/21/2012. Some Christian people take this seriously, thus sacrilegiously embracing a pagan religious prophecy. If they are atheist, then why do they have faith in this ancient myth? But horoscopes run in newspapers every day without comment.
On the other hand, the Mayan culture is dead. Predictions by dead, ancient cultures are always true! All those movies couldn’t have lied to us! A doomsday prophecy from the Hindus is barely worth a chuckle, since the Hindus are still popular in India. They made the mistake of not dying first.
There’s nothing in Mayan lore about it really being the end of time. It’s more like Mayan Y2K. The whole thing involves the Sun crossing the Galactic equator. It is no small feat to calculate that because you can’t see the Milky Way and the Sun simultaneously. The Mayans also thought that the world was flat and gods roamed the sky in ethereal canoes. But the Mayans sometimes reference the Milky Way as a giant vagina. And when you have a mythos like this, how could you possibly be wrong about the apocalypse?
+++++++++++++
Do you find it ironic that gay people can’t get married in laid-back, swingin’ California, but they can in red-meat Iowa?
++++++++++++++++
I’ve been listening to some Pavarotti CDs. His voice is really great, but the arrangements are awful. He’s half-heartedly trying to be both pop and opera (popera?), and failing at both. If you want good Italian opera, try Andrea Bocelli.
+++++++++
Jessica Biel thinks her career is being hurt by the fact that she’s too good looking. Yeah. I agree. Normally, actresses are butt-ugly. What? Hollywood is full of hotties? Ok, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?
+++++++++++++++++++
Exciting times in Rex Morgan! He’s about to see his first patient since 2006! In Apartment 3G one of the girls broke up with a boring boyfriend. Mary Worth is just warming up in another meddlerama with an old friend that she’s never mentioned before. Mark Trail is on the case of criminals lurking deep in forests. Garfield is either hungry or sleepy. Marmaduke does dog stuff while humans say banal things – but he’s still a BIG DOG. Let's get him a movie deal.
+++++++++
So as I was thinking that it was hot in my office today, an email came in to tell me that it was hot in the office today. Apparently, the heating and air conditioning systems are duking it out for supremacy. Right now, Team Heat is up by 7 points, but if Freeze Meister scores a touchdown, they could tie it – and if they go for two, they could possibly even pull ahead. Well, you know what they say about state workers and HVAC systems.
… And since you know, maybe you could tell me.
+++++++++++++++
The Mayans predicted the world will end on 12/21/2012. Some Christian people take this seriously, thus sacrilegiously embracing a pagan religious prophecy. If they are atheist, then why do they have faith in this ancient myth? But horoscopes run in newspapers every day without comment.
On the other hand, the Mayan culture is dead. Predictions by dead, ancient cultures are always true! All those movies couldn’t have lied to us! A doomsday prophecy from the Hindus is barely worth a chuckle, since the Hindus are still popular in India. They made the mistake of not dying first.
There’s nothing in Mayan lore about it really being the end of time. It’s more like Mayan Y2K. The whole thing involves the Sun crossing the Galactic equator. It is no small feat to calculate that because you can’t see the Milky Way and the Sun simultaneously. The Mayans also thought that the world was flat and gods roamed the sky in ethereal canoes. But the Mayans sometimes reference the Milky Way as a giant vagina. And when you have a mythos like this, how could you possibly be wrong about the apocalypse?
+++++++++++++
Do you find it ironic that gay people can’t get married in laid-back, swingin’ California, but they can in red-meat Iowa?
++++++++++++++++
I’ve been listening to some Pavarotti CDs. His voice is really great, but the arrangements are awful. He’s half-heartedly trying to be both pop and opera (popera?), and failing at both. If you want good Italian opera, try Andrea Bocelli.
+++++++++
Jessica Biel thinks her career is being hurt by the fact that she’s too good looking. Yeah. I agree. Normally, actresses are butt-ugly. What? Hollywood is full of hotties? Ok, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?
+++++++++++++++++++
Exciting times in Rex Morgan! He’s about to see his first patient since 2006! In Apartment 3G one of the girls broke up with a boring boyfriend. Mary Worth is just warming up in another meddlerama with an old friend that she’s never mentioned before. Mark Trail is on the case of criminals lurking deep in forests. Garfield is either hungry or sleepy. Marmaduke does dog stuff while humans say banal things – but he’s still a BIG DOG. Let's get him a movie deal.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Killers, killer workouts and dead treads.
The first country that gets out of this recession will be the biggest global player for the next generation or two. But who is going to make it happen?
The US has a history of attracting the best and brightest and most ambitious, then coupling these stars with access to almost unlimited resources. That, and some sheer good luck. But if we’re only counting on good luck to pull us out of recession, I wouldn’t bet on us.
I speculate China could be the next #1, but they’re autocratic and opaque. One wrong move by the central government can knock them out of the race in a hurry.
++++++++
Know who pisses me off? Everybody. Yes, that’s true, but right now, the bane of existence as I am writing this passage is goddamned double dippers.
No, not the idiot at a party that can’t suffice himself with the amount of cocktail sauce he picked up on his shrimp with a single dip. I mean working retirees. I’m sick of seeing 50 year old retirees around here. It jus’ ain’t right, I’m sayin’.
++++++++++++
I’ve been listening to The Best of Radiohead. I made the mistake of reading the band’s bio in the liner notes. Every failure “left the band contentious and depressed.” Every success “left the band drained and confused.” So after all the accolades and millions of CDs sold, I’m sure their lives are all miserable wrecks. Sad.
Say what you want about 1980s hair bands, but they obviously enjoyed success. Rappers always look pissed off about something, though.
So after the “Best of”, the next step is a CD of remakes, a breakup, a sh!t compilation CD taken from the clippings lying on the cutting room floor, a pained reunion tour, a CD of remixes and a tribute CD. Next stop: The dreaded bargain bin.
+++++++++++++++
Psychologically, stopping and starting many times during a race or a workout is bad. Once you stop two or three times, it starts to snowball until you’re going only a few yards. But is it better to run yourself into exhaustion? I never know what to do at those points.
+++++++++
I’m so very excited about the summer blockbusters coming out. “Transformers III: More Stuff to Blow Up”.
+++++++++++
I see people getting argumentative about sports teams. “The Yankees will win!” “No, the Phillies, dammit!” Why doesn’t someone say “I tell ya what. We’ll take these two teams and have them play an actual game of baseball. Whoever wins gets to claim victory, and our argument will be settled.” “Yes, that sounds reasonable.” And 6,000 sports bloggers and radio hosts suddenly poop their pants.
++++++++++++
Question: Why does a man who owns two treadmills have to do a long run outside in the dark in the cold in the rain?
Answer: Yes.
Since I’m now in my 40s, I have tried to get less enraged than I did in my 20s, but you know, some times it just doesn’t work. When my treadmill breaks, so does my temper.
I read an article on treadmill training versus road training. The article blasted treadmill training as inferior in several different ways. I generally compensate for this by running faster. I know that I should set the treadmill at 1% or 1.5% incline to compensate, but I almost never do.
In defense of treadmills: I don’t have a good place to sprint. Most people don’t. Most people won’t, but let’s pretend that they might, if they had access to a track. Training sprints are not race distances anyway. A sprint stretches out your pace and increases your VO2 Max - a treadmill does those well. Also, the amateur to average runner has a hard time in keeping a regular pace. I learned pacing only because I spent a long time on the treadmill. A combination of treadmill and road running will help you gain speed and increase endurance more than either method individually. I do about 65% of my running on a treadmill. I should probably do 65% road work instead. But then, I wouldn’t get to watch movies.
+++++++++++
On movies: I saw Jumper. It suffered from Star Wars syndrome, where no one with a name died. Not the hero, not the girlfriend, not the sidekick. Not even the bad guy. Not that you need a body count for a good movie, but you need some reason why the action stops. Here, they just called it quits.
Like I do with blog posts.
+++++++++++
No Country For Old Men also ended at a random point, but after anyone who would have been able to continue the story was dead. Except the bad guy.
The standout in No Country was a cold blooded killer who never seemed to be in any danger from the police. He killed his boss, so I wonder how he ever expected to get paid. Bad guys easily tracked down anyone they wanted to. The good guys never knew what hit them. What stays with you after watching this movie is the absolute cold bloodedness of the killer guy. He was just plain scary. Screw Michael Meyers or Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees. This guy was cold.
And he's still out there.
The US has a history of attracting the best and brightest and most ambitious, then coupling these stars with access to almost unlimited resources. That, and some sheer good luck. But if we’re only counting on good luck to pull us out of recession, I wouldn’t bet on us.
I speculate China could be the next #1, but they’re autocratic and opaque. One wrong move by the central government can knock them out of the race in a hurry.
++++++++
Know who pisses me off? Everybody. Yes, that’s true, but right now, the bane of existence as I am writing this passage is goddamned double dippers.
No, not the idiot at a party that can’t suffice himself with the amount of cocktail sauce he picked up on his shrimp with a single dip. I mean working retirees. I’m sick of seeing 50 year old retirees around here. It jus’ ain’t right, I’m sayin’.
++++++++++++
I’ve been listening to The Best of Radiohead. I made the mistake of reading the band’s bio in the liner notes. Every failure “left the band contentious and depressed.” Every success “left the band drained and confused.” So after all the accolades and millions of CDs sold, I’m sure their lives are all miserable wrecks. Sad.
Say what you want about 1980s hair bands, but they obviously enjoyed success. Rappers always look pissed off about something, though.
So after the “Best of”, the next step is a CD of remakes, a breakup, a sh!t compilation CD taken from the clippings lying on the cutting room floor, a pained reunion tour, a CD of remixes and a tribute CD. Next stop: The dreaded bargain bin.
+++++++++++++++
Psychologically, stopping and starting many times during a race or a workout is bad. Once you stop two or three times, it starts to snowball until you’re going only a few yards. But is it better to run yourself into exhaustion? I never know what to do at those points.
+++++++++
I’m so very excited about the summer blockbusters coming out. “Transformers III: More Stuff to Blow Up”.
+++++++++++
I see people getting argumentative about sports teams. “The Yankees will win!” “No, the Phillies, dammit!” Why doesn’t someone say “I tell ya what. We’ll take these two teams and have them play an actual game of baseball. Whoever wins gets to claim victory, and our argument will be settled.” “Yes, that sounds reasonable.” And 6,000 sports bloggers and radio hosts suddenly poop their pants.
++++++++++++
Question: Why does a man who owns two treadmills have to do a long run outside in the dark in the cold in the rain?
Answer: Yes.
Since I’m now in my 40s, I have tried to get less enraged than I did in my 20s, but you know, some times it just doesn’t work. When my treadmill breaks, so does my temper.
I read an article on treadmill training versus road training. The article blasted treadmill training as inferior in several different ways. I generally compensate for this by running faster. I know that I should set the treadmill at 1% or 1.5% incline to compensate, but I almost never do.
In defense of treadmills: I don’t have a good place to sprint. Most people don’t. Most people won’t, but let’s pretend that they might, if they had access to a track. Training sprints are not race distances anyway. A sprint stretches out your pace and increases your VO2 Max - a treadmill does those well. Also, the amateur to average runner has a hard time in keeping a regular pace. I learned pacing only because I spent a long time on the treadmill. A combination of treadmill and road running will help you gain speed and increase endurance more than either method individually. I do about 65% of my running on a treadmill. I should probably do 65% road work instead. But then, I wouldn’t get to watch movies.
+++++++++++
On movies: I saw Jumper. It suffered from Star Wars syndrome, where no one with a name died. Not the hero, not the girlfriend, not the sidekick. Not even the bad guy. Not that you need a body count for a good movie, but you need some reason why the action stops. Here, they just called it quits.
Like I do with blog posts.
+++++++++++
No Country For Old Men also ended at a random point, but after anyone who would have been able to continue the story was dead. Except the bad guy.
The standout in No Country was a cold blooded killer who never seemed to be in any danger from the police. He killed his boss, so I wonder how he ever expected to get paid. Bad guys easily tracked down anyone they wanted to. The good guys never knew what hit them. What stays with you after watching this movie is the absolute cold bloodedness of the killer guy. He was just plain scary. Screw Michael Meyers or Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees. This guy was cold.
And he's still out there.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
For the Gulf Coast, Elton John will yet again remake Candle in the Wind.
Captain America is now the enemy of the Tea Party. There was a recent comic where the star-spangled hero is trying to break up a white supremacist group. The organization is also involved in anti-tax demonstrations and a cartoon protester held a sign “Tea bag the libs before they tea bag you!” which was an actual Tea Party sign. So the Tea Party is outraged (again). Now they have to explain why they aren’t racist because they support threatening ALL liberals equally, not just the liberals of color.
There was a leftie Canadian alt-rock band called the Tea Party, too. Irony is not dead. Until it gets ‘tea bagged’ – whatever that is.
The Tea Party doesn’t even have a coherent platform aside from “I don’t wanna pay taxes.” I’m just waiting for the Tea Party to join forces with the crowd that used to bust in to auto repair shops and proclaim that “I’m NOT going to pay a lot for this muffler!” on those old Midas commercials. Then they’d be unstoppable. Even George Foreman could make an appearance.
++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a woman who racked up $555,000 in student debt. She’s being used as a poster child for those that argue that the cost of education is too high. While I agree that education cost has risen too fast, she spent over 100K per year? Sounds like profligate spending is not solely the providence of government and educational institutions.
++++++++++++++++++++
Judas Priest put out a live CD in 08. They still sound good. At least Rob Halford isn’t still wearing all that tight leather. His leather chaps are much more loose, for that comfortable “relaxed fit” that’s all the rage with the headbanging seniors these days. That and metal studded shuffleboard cue sticks.
+++++++++++++++++
I’ve been reading that barefoot running is supposed to be better for you. They cite the fact that humans evolved without shoes. But the African savannah wasn’t in the single digits Fahrenheit. Alongside the barefoot running article was a company trying to sell you shoes that try to mimic going barefoot. So your product is not quite as good as nothing?
++++++++++++++++++++
The majority of the population is overweight by government standards. Obviously, government is the problem. They are out-of-touch with the average American. And that skinny Obama is secretly getting rid of all the lard asses by means of death panels!
++++++++++++++++
I personally like Obama, but like I said during the campaign, he’s too liberal to be my ideal president. 1.5 Trillion dollars in red ink? Couldn’t he shave the deficit down to a nice, even $1,000,000,000,000.00 at least?
I like what he said to the Republicans about reaching out and cooperating. I’m sure as soon as he walked out of the room, the Reps made faces and stuck out their tongues.
The Reps were complaining about a “Democratic attack machine”. That’s a good one. The Dems are way too dysfunctional and unorganized to ever be called a “machine”. Sounds like whining to me. “They use our own words against us! How can we run a smear campaign against our accuser if the accuser is us? Waaaah!”
It’s like Rand Paul. He wins the Rep primary for senate easily, then immediately goes out and says all kinds of crazy stuff about how every law needs to strictly adhere to the Constitution, except the 14th Amendment, because that one is unconstitutional.
But the non-machine-Republicans have managed to blanket the entire state of Kentucky with their blue and white “Rand Paul for senate” posters.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I’ve noticed over the past few decades that office dress codes have generally become more casual. In contrast, public schools, where appearance doesn’t matter, dress codes have become far more restrictive. I’m sure this is done with the intent to give the kids incentive to graduate. “One day I’m going to work in a box – but I’ll get to wear jeans!”
++++++++++++++++++++
Some Tea party idiot made news by dressing like Darth Vader when Obama came to his town. When asked about it, the Tea party guy said “It means ‘May the Force be with… power to the people… or something’.” Now there’s a guy who takes a stand.
With all the Republican hypocrisy, something is beginning to smell fishy around here. Wait, it’s just the lady in the cube next door with her salmon. Never mind. Sarah Palin is still an idiot, though.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
New: Dove For Men. No.
++++++++++++++++++++++
My kids got Disney paper dolls. They can dress Cinderella in Sleeping Beauty’s dress if they want. Without any dress, the princesses are in their underwear. Snow White is surprisingly hot. Should I be worried about myself?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everyone thinks I’m a fanatic about nutrition. When I’m in training, I don’t drink alcohol or eat sweets. People have their own definition of “crazy”. Some think that getting up at 4am and running 8 miles in the snow is crazy, but I…… when I phrase it like that, it does sound kind of nuts.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I read that too much protein can also slow you down. I was surprised. I grew up on the protein = good mentality because when you are body building that’s what you build with. The Ethiopian diet is very lean and the meat is sparse.
Yes, that’s right, I said that another country is superior to the United States in some way and that we should emulate them. May D!ck Cheney have mercy upon my soul.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Jay-Z said that “We Are the World” shouldn’t have been remade. Considering how lousy I thought it was in ’85, I’d agree. Jay-Z is on the opposite side of the spectrum, he seems to think that it was so great that it could never be duplicated. Maybe Elton John can come to the rescue with the 37th remake of “Candle in the Wind”.
++++++++++++++++++++
I sometimes toy with the idea that I should go back to school and get a degree in something in demand, like teaching, computers or nursing. An ad caught my eye. Apparently, I can get an online nursing degree in as little as 3 months. That’s scary. There are people in hospitals trusting their health to people from this program? I train for marathons longer than that.
+++++++++++++++++++++
The joys of having two darling daughters: Watching the Tinkerbell movie. She doesn’t display the same vindictive spitefulness that she does in Peter Pan. That being said, she’s still not likeable. Instead of being impetuous and jealous, she’s conniving and conceited. Her only virtue is that she’s less arrogant than the prissy snot who serves as the antagonist of the movie. Even at 78 minutes, the plot is still stretched.
She saves the day essentially by mechanization of the fairy tasks. I suspect her own inventions put her out of work. She became jaded, bitter, and loathed to change. That’s why she couldn’t stand the Darling kids coming to Neverland. Seems a bit dark for a Disney fairy, but there it is.
++++++++++++++++
When it snowed, some global warming denier in the Senate had his grand kids build an igloo on Capitol Hill and hung a sign saying “Al Gore’s New Home”. Ha ha. How does it look for the cameras now that it melted?
There was a leftie Canadian alt-rock band called the Tea Party, too. Irony is not dead. Until it gets ‘tea bagged’ – whatever that is.
The Tea Party doesn’t even have a coherent platform aside from “I don’t wanna pay taxes.” I’m just waiting for the Tea Party to join forces with the crowd that used to bust in to auto repair shops and proclaim that “I’m NOT going to pay a lot for this muffler!” on those old Midas commercials. Then they’d be unstoppable. Even George Foreman could make an appearance.
++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a woman who racked up $555,000 in student debt. She’s being used as a poster child for those that argue that the cost of education is too high. While I agree that education cost has risen too fast, she spent over 100K per year? Sounds like profligate spending is not solely the providence of government and educational institutions.
++++++++++++++++++++
Judas Priest put out a live CD in 08. They still sound good. At least Rob Halford isn’t still wearing all that tight leather. His leather chaps are much more loose, for that comfortable “relaxed fit” that’s all the rage with the headbanging seniors these days. That and metal studded shuffleboard cue sticks.
+++++++++++++++++
I’ve been reading that barefoot running is supposed to be better for you. They cite the fact that humans evolved without shoes. But the African savannah wasn’t in the single digits Fahrenheit. Alongside the barefoot running article was a company trying to sell you shoes that try to mimic going barefoot. So your product is not quite as good as nothing?
++++++++++++++++++++
The majority of the population is overweight by government standards. Obviously, government is the problem. They are out-of-touch with the average American. And that skinny Obama is secretly getting rid of all the lard asses by means of death panels!
++++++++++++++++
I personally like Obama, but like I said during the campaign, he’s too liberal to be my ideal president. 1.5 Trillion dollars in red ink? Couldn’t he shave the deficit down to a nice, even $1,000,000,000,000.00 at least?
I like what he said to the Republicans about reaching out and cooperating. I’m sure as soon as he walked out of the room, the Reps made faces and stuck out their tongues.
The Reps were complaining about a “Democratic attack machine”. That’s a good one. The Dems are way too dysfunctional and unorganized to ever be called a “machine”. Sounds like whining to me. “They use our own words against us! How can we run a smear campaign against our accuser if the accuser is us? Waaaah!”
It’s like Rand Paul. He wins the Rep primary for senate easily, then immediately goes out and says all kinds of crazy stuff about how every law needs to strictly adhere to the Constitution, except the 14th Amendment, because that one is unconstitutional.
But the non-machine-Republicans have managed to blanket the entire state of Kentucky with their blue and white “Rand Paul for senate” posters.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I’ve noticed over the past few decades that office dress codes have generally become more casual. In contrast, public schools, where appearance doesn’t matter, dress codes have become far more restrictive. I’m sure this is done with the intent to give the kids incentive to graduate. “One day I’m going to work in a box – but I’ll get to wear jeans!”
++++++++++++++++++++
Some Tea party idiot made news by dressing like Darth Vader when Obama came to his town. When asked about it, the Tea party guy said “It means ‘May the Force be with… power to the people… or something’.” Now there’s a guy who takes a stand.
With all the Republican hypocrisy, something is beginning to smell fishy around here. Wait, it’s just the lady in the cube next door with her salmon. Never mind. Sarah Palin is still an idiot, though.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
New: Dove For Men. No.
++++++++++++++++++++++
My kids got Disney paper dolls. They can dress Cinderella in Sleeping Beauty’s dress if they want. Without any dress, the princesses are in their underwear. Snow White is surprisingly hot. Should I be worried about myself?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everyone thinks I’m a fanatic about nutrition. When I’m in training, I don’t drink alcohol or eat sweets. People have their own definition of “crazy”. Some think that getting up at 4am and running 8 miles in the snow is crazy, but I…… when I phrase it like that, it does sound kind of nuts.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I read that too much protein can also slow you down. I was surprised. I grew up on the protein = good mentality because when you are body building that’s what you build with. The Ethiopian diet is very lean and the meat is sparse.
Yes, that’s right, I said that another country is superior to the United States in some way and that we should emulate them. May D!ck Cheney have mercy upon my soul.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Jay-Z said that “We Are the World” shouldn’t have been remade. Considering how lousy I thought it was in ’85, I’d agree. Jay-Z is on the opposite side of the spectrum, he seems to think that it was so great that it could never be duplicated. Maybe Elton John can come to the rescue with the 37th remake of “Candle in the Wind”.
++++++++++++++++++++
I sometimes toy with the idea that I should go back to school and get a degree in something in demand, like teaching, computers or nursing. An ad caught my eye. Apparently, I can get an online nursing degree in as little as 3 months. That’s scary. There are people in hospitals trusting their health to people from this program? I train for marathons longer than that.
+++++++++++++++++++++
The joys of having two darling daughters: Watching the Tinkerbell movie. She doesn’t display the same vindictive spitefulness that she does in Peter Pan. That being said, she’s still not likeable. Instead of being impetuous and jealous, she’s conniving and conceited. Her only virtue is that she’s less arrogant than the prissy snot who serves as the antagonist of the movie. Even at 78 minutes, the plot is still stretched.
She saves the day essentially by mechanization of the fairy tasks. I suspect her own inventions put her out of work. She became jaded, bitter, and loathed to change. That’s why she couldn’t stand the Darling kids coming to Neverland. Seems a bit dark for a Disney fairy, but there it is.
++++++++++++++++
When it snowed, some global warming denier in the Senate had his grand kids build an igloo on Capitol Hill and hung a sign saying “Al Gore’s New Home”. Ha ha. How does it look for the cameras now that it melted?
On being "the"
There is no group called THE Bee Gees. The name of the band was simply “Bee Gees”. As in their "best of" CD is called "The Best of Bee Gees", and not "the Bee Gees".
++++++++++++++++++++++
I was listening to Pat Benatar’s Greatest Hits. Her first few albums were great. Then she decided that she got too many negative comments about her wardrobe and not enough good ones about her music. I’m in favor of tight pants, but I’m also the first to admit that she looked trashy. Ok, not the first, but I’m in that group somewhere. I didn’t care for her “new direction” in her music. She should have ditched her pants and kept on rockin.
You uh, know what I mean, right?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m also listening to Chuck Berry. He has a preoccupation with girls who are or look like they are seventeen. I know it is a key demographic and it works rhythmically, but it is still really creepy.
++++++++++++++++++
I once joked that so many former Bush aides were going public to repudiate everything that the Bush White House once stood for that the only one left would be George W. himself. I was close on this one.
Former First Lady Laura Bush said that she’s pro-choice and for gay marriage. One of the Bush twins, Barbara, voiced support for the health care bill – on Fox News, no less.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for those that love to ascribe theological implications to random weather phenomena, a 60 ft statue of Jesus got struck by lightning and burned to the ground.
I had the idea that they built it with flammable material and no lightning rod, and it was an accident waiting to happen. I’m sure someone will blame Obama.
God is also the guy who put oil wealth under the feet of the least stable people on the planet. Nigeria, the middle east, Venezuela, and arguably Texas. Now it’s also discovered that Afghanistan has enormous untapped riches in minerals. Why can’t there be treasure in normal places like Massachusetts or Wisconsin?
I filled out my time sheet a day early. In case I get struck by lightning at lunch time, I’ll still get paid for the whole day.
++++++++++
Vampire overload! Too many movies/books/shows about the ever-dapper and attractive undead! I’d probably watch a show where they portrayed vampires from an angle that no one has ever thought of before, like vegan surfers. They’d still have all the random angst that we’ve come to expect from the genre, but they’ll express it in puns like “This sucks” and “That bites.” Hilarity ensues when the humans accidentally catch the vampires on taco night. “Oh my GOD! Look at the blood dripping from his mouth!” “Chill, bro, it’s just organic salsa. Don’t go bat-sh!t.”
+++++++++++++++++
The Republicans are simultaneously arguing that Obama wants to take over the world energy industry and that he’s not doing enough about the oil in the Gulf of Mexico. Not surprising, but I also can’t imagine what a Republican in the Oval Office would be doing.
Palin: I had a meeting with the BP executives yesterday, and I MADE THEM PAY (for lunch). You betcha.
McCain: We even ordered the Gulf Coast Shimp. Not cheap!
Palin: I had the red meat special.
McCain: Does shrimp usually come with a thick layer of tar?
Palin: Just think of it as Real American BBQ sauce, John! (wink, wink!)
++++++++++++++++++++++
This guy wrote a book on how the internet is making us stupid. Yes, this blog should be shown as supportive evidence.
His point is that we erode our ability to pay attention to anything on or off line when we are constantly checking email, IMs, texts and the like. Yet, your average teen can play Halo for 15 hours straight.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I had my temperature taken before I gave blood. I was chewing wintergreen flavored gum, which is supposed to give you cool, fresh breath. My temp was 98.4! Objective, verifiable proof that it works! Of course, I still have a hard time reconciling that fraction of a degree with a commercial where a woman chews the gum and freezes an entire landscape with her icy huffing and puffing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Rush Limbaugh got married for the 4th time. I’m sure that she cares about him as a sensitive soul mate, and not at all for his fortune. I’m also sure that he respects her intelligence and not for the fact that she’s a trim blonde who is 26 years younger than him. She said that the age difference was insignificant because she could never relate to people her own age. That doesn’t necessarily mean she can relate to older men, but logic and deductive reasoning are probably just going to be taboo subjects in this relationship.
++++++++++++++++
I may need glasses soon. Instead of saying that I can’t focus on the small print, I prefer to say “far sighted”. I keep my eye on the horizon. I see the big picture clearly. I leave it to the piddling conservatives to suffer from myopia. Nay! I focus on the long term victory, not the short term goals.
Anyway, with no offense to people who wear glasses, they’re just not “me”. I’d look like a dork. If I get them, I’d have to redo my whole image to accompany them. I’ll get some artsy frames and wear black turtle necks. I’d need an artsy moniker to go along, like “The Hogen”. To get it to catch on, I’ll also start referring to myself in the third person to complete that Soho-faux-artsy-douche-bag style that The Hogen will soon be adopting.
If anything, The Hogen will be something Bee Gees are not.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I was listening to Pat Benatar’s Greatest Hits. Her first few albums were great. Then she decided that she got too many negative comments about her wardrobe and not enough good ones about her music. I’m in favor of tight pants, but I’m also the first to admit that she looked trashy. Ok, not the first, but I’m in that group somewhere. I didn’t care for her “new direction” in her music. She should have ditched her pants and kept on rockin.
You uh, know what I mean, right?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m also listening to Chuck Berry. He has a preoccupation with girls who are or look like they are seventeen. I know it is a key demographic and it works rhythmically, but it is still really creepy.
++++++++++++++++++
I once joked that so many former Bush aides were going public to repudiate everything that the Bush White House once stood for that the only one left would be George W. himself. I was close on this one.
Former First Lady Laura Bush said that she’s pro-choice and for gay marriage. One of the Bush twins, Barbara, voiced support for the health care bill – on Fox News, no less.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for those that love to ascribe theological implications to random weather phenomena, a 60 ft statue of Jesus got struck by lightning and burned to the ground.
I had the idea that they built it with flammable material and no lightning rod, and it was an accident waiting to happen. I’m sure someone will blame Obama.
God is also the guy who put oil wealth under the feet of the least stable people on the planet. Nigeria, the middle east, Venezuela, and arguably Texas. Now it’s also discovered that Afghanistan has enormous untapped riches in minerals. Why can’t there be treasure in normal places like Massachusetts or Wisconsin?
I filled out my time sheet a day early. In case I get struck by lightning at lunch time, I’ll still get paid for the whole day.
++++++++++
Vampire overload! Too many movies/books/shows about the ever-dapper and attractive undead! I’d probably watch a show where they portrayed vampires from an angle that no one has ever thought of before, like vegan surfers. They’d still have all the random angst that we’ve come to expect from the genre, but they’ll express it in puns like “This sucks” and “That bites.” Hilarity ensues when the humans accidentally catch the vampires on taco night. “Oh my GOD! Look at the blood dripping from his mouth!” “Chill, bro, it’s just organic salsa. Don’t go bat-sh!t.”
+++++++++++++++++
The Republicans are simultaneously arguing that Obama wants to take over the world energy industry and that he’s not doing enough about the oil in the Gulf of Mexico. Not surprising, but I also can’t imagine what a Republican in the Oval Office would be doing.
Palin: I had a meeting with the BP executives yesterday, and I MADE THEM PAY (for lunch). You betcha.
McCain: We even ordered the Gulf Coast Shimp. Not cheap!
Palin: I had the red meat special.
McCain: Does shrimp usually come with a thick layer of tar?
Palin: Just think of it as Real American BBQ sauce, John! (wink, wink!)
++++++++++++++++++++++
This guy wrote a book on how the internet is making us stupid. Yes, this blog should be shown as supportive evidence.
His point is that we erode our ability to pay attention to anything on or off line when we are constantly checking email, IMs, texts and the like. Yet, your average teen can play Halo for 15 hours straight.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I had my temperature taken before I gave blood. I was chewing wintergreen flavored gum, which is supposed to give you cool, fresh breath. My temp was 98.4! Objective, verifiable proof that it works! Of course, I still have a hard time reconciling that fraction of a degree with a commercial where a woman chews the gum and freezes an entire landscape with her icy huffing and puffing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Rush Limbaugh got married for the 4th time. I’m sure that she cares about him as a sensitive soul mate, and not at all for his fortune. I’m also sure that he respects her intelligence and not for the fact that she’s a trim blonde who is 26 years younger than him. She said that the age difference was insignificant because she could never relate to people her own age. That doesn’t necessarily mean she can relate to older men, but logic and deductive reasoning are probably just going to be taboo subjects in this relationship.
++++++++++++++++
I may need glasses soon. Instead of saying that I can’t focus on the small print, I prefer to say “far sighted”. I keep my eye on the horizon. I see the big picture clearly. I leave it to the piddling conservatives to suffer from myopia. Nay! I focus on the long term victory, not the short term goals.
Anyway, with no offense to people who wear glasses, they’re just not “me”. I’d look like a dork. If I get them, I’d have to redo my whole image to accompany them. I’ll get some artsy frames and wear black turtle necks. I’d need an artsy moniker to go along, like “The Hogen”. To get it to catch on, I’ll also start referring to myself in the third person to complete that Soho-faux-artsy-douche-bag style that The Hogen will soon be adopting.
If anything, The Hogen will be something Bee Gees are not.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Willpower uses old technology. It has soul.
I stopped listening to rock radio in ’98. The rock station in Buffalo needed every weekend to be an *event*. When a blockbuster movie opened, it would be a >fill in the blank< Movie Weekend. That’s ok if the movie is a gargantuan thriller like Lord of the Rings or a Star Wars or something. *Children of the Corn VI* does not quite live up to the excitement needed to revolve your weekend plans around it.
They would broadcast from some off-site “party” location. The opening weekend of a theme park, or at some big concert, that’s ok. When you’re left with the grand opening of a new gas station mini-mart, dude, you’re about as far from “cool” as you can get before you get so “uncool” that you begin to re-enter “cool” territory again.
It’s like this:*We’re here on a sloppy February Saturday at the grand opening of Frank Greenberg’s new Noco Mini Mart on Genesee Street going towards Williamsville. There’s some wet snow flying around outside, but inside we got a ton of give aways and specials like 2 hot dogs for $1 and free samples of pizza minis!*
Yeah, the only less-cool place would be broadcasting from the offices of the high school newspaper – which I’m sure that they tried, except that the local high school is shut down on the weekends.
And why do they have to broadcast like there’s a 24/7 keg party going on? The other day I’m trying to listen to the traffic report because there was a basketball game downtown, and that makes a big difference where I drive. I usually hate traffic reports. They never say anything that makes a difference and they jam through them so fast you never understand what they’re talking about anyway. But this station decided that even rushed through, they were too boring and everyone would change stations if subjected to this crap for 10 seconds. So, they crank background music throughout the report. I couldn’t hear a damn word. I got stuck in the game traffic, too. Thanks, guys.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And the debate between old and new technology rages. I heard some guy cutting down CDs in favor of records, saying that CDs don’t have any soul or some other crap. CDs more faithfully present the sound actually generated by a live band. When I first got a CD player, I noticed each note, whereas the same sound on vinyl and definitely on tape would be far less clear.
For instance, I could hear the faint slide of a guitarist’s fingers on the strings in between the notes on some occasions. And, you just can’t play vinyl in the car or go jogging with it. Vinyl is more expensive to make. Vinyl scratches easier than a CD. The needle wears out. After you listen to a vinyl album several times, audio quality declines. I mean, should we just hold on to a piece of old technology that provides no advantages just because of some immeasurable, subjective quality called “soul”?
The same argument is being applied to the recent demise of Polaroid’s Instamatic film. They’ve stopped making it. Some die-hard fans are just torn up saying that they could never do without it. And the “soul” argument was used, too. I could see that argument with high end film cameras, but an Instamatic? It was point and shoot and the focus was honed in on whatever was closest. Some lady was interviewed who did professional photography used instant film, and got hers specially made to be 20”x20”. Each snap of the camera cost her about a hundred bucks. She believed that knowing that each shot cost so much, the photographer would take greater care to get it just right. But 100 years ago, wouldn’t that have been the argument of the portrait painters against film camera? Anyone could just snap a picture, but it took a true artist to get a painted portrait just right. You could snap a hundred pictures in a day, but a portrait took a week. Film cameras have no soul! Same with all this light from electricity. Light shouldn’t be as convenient as just flicking on a switch. We should go back to gas lamps. No, even better - candles and torches. Wildly inefficient, smoky, and an enormous fire hazard, but they had SOUL.
And boo-hiss on tap water, too. Too clean, too reliable and too easy. You drink the same tasting water in the summer as you do in the winter? That’s not living! Buckets of water laboriously hauled up in all weather conditions make you appreciate each drop. Water from the local scum laden pond has SOUL.
Music, especially rock music, grew up as singles. Now, I guess we’re moving back to that, and people are lamenting the demise of album orientation. It’s like the way this guy invented a way to pull the pits out of olives before they’re pressed for olive oil. The olive oil aficionados say that the pit lends some taste and that’s the way it has been made for centuries. The guy who invented the pitter responded that the ancient Greeks used to pit the olives before they pressed them, so his way was actually a return to the REALLY old style and not a new fangled style per se. However, modern recipes are written for the merely centuries old olive oil, and I’m sure that if you add the wrong kind of olive oil you would incinerate the delicate palate of your canned green bean recipe.
+++++++++++++++++++
I’m still training for my race. I dreamt last night that I was on the starting line and I was drunk and unprepared. I hadn’t even tied my shoes when the gun went off. But then again, the race was taking place inside a gigantic shopping mall, so I can’t see it being some kind of telepathic message sent from the future. Then the bikini babes came out. It was around then that I began to suspect things weren’t real.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
60% of MBA school is stuff that you could have figured out on your own. But if you say “I would have thought of that myself!” I say “Yeah, but ya didn’t, didja?”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a switch on the wall outside my office with no discernable purpose. Normally, such things are of no consequence and can be safely ignored. But this is a red LED lit switch. I shudder to think of what Earthly catastrophe could take place if it were turned off. What is behind this switch? What can it be? Oh, I’m just so tempted!
++++++++++++++++++++++++
My high hopes for the current Rex Morgan storyline are dropping precipitously. Instead of moving on with the story, Rex got bogged down in one of those conversations with his wife, June. That’s instant plot quicksand. Next week, no new developments, but Rex is concerned!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
But what do “they” know, anyway? “They” also say that George Washington wore wooden teeth, and that ostriches bury their heads.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’ve started to read books in song format even when they don’t rhyme or have any kind of meter. How do you sing a book of prose? Badly. Last night, my entire audience walked out during an operatic performance of Cinderella. I thought I got them hooked when the rhythm turned a-rockin’ when she ran down the palace steps at midnight, and then I got slow and sad as the coach turned back into a pumpkin. But that’s the moment when the kids took off. Ah, I expect a poor review in tomorrow’s Times. But, damn the critics! Yes, I sing absurdly and I have no talent, but damn them anyway!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I read an interesting article on willpower. It’s apparently a lot like muscle. You can achieve great feats of will, but then it leaves you less capable of such feats in the near term. Over time, you can build your willpower, like you would build your athletic ability when you’re training. So, if you begin a new training regimen, you will more likely slack off in other areas. That may explain why so many people who quit smoking, for instance, quickly gain weight soon afterwards. I’m using my willpower to train harder, and I don’t have that much left over to resist many other temptations. Americans work long hours, and that seems to result in overspending, overeating and under-exercising. No, the article didn’t carry the theory the extra step to chide America on our collective bad habits. That’s my personal touch. By blowing my willpower budget on waking up early, I don’t have much left to run the miles hard. To answer why I’m running them at all is because what the hell else are you going to do when you wake up at 4:00? That’s so goddamn early that I don’t even think the internet is awake.
++++++++++++++++
I never understood this “elephant in the room” thing. What, like elephants are so common in rooms that no one mentions it? Very, very tiny elephants, perhaps made of ceramics? I can’t figure it out. Does it have to do with those six blind guys and the elephant? In that analogy, each blind guy mistook the elephant as something else, but they at least acknowledged that it existed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I hate job applications. The federal government centralized their application system. If you fill out their application, theoretically it can be referenced for any federal job. In practice, I filled out an extensive application for one job a month or two ago, and now I’m going for another job. But the second job does not accept electronic applications in any form. They insist that you fill out Form OF 612, which is pretty much the same stuff as the electronic version on the centralized web site. The form is, of course, offered on line, but you can’t just copy and paste to it. So I get to see the dismal record of my life’s non-accomplishments. Not only am I forced to confront it, but I’m getting a hand cramp trying to elaborate my experience as a boring accounting drone. God, I hate filling out applications.
They would broadcast from some off-site “party” location. The opening weekend of a theme park, or at some big concert, that’s ok. When you’re left with the grand opening of a new gas station mini-mart, dude, you’re about as far from “cool” as you can get before you get so “uncool” that you begin to re-enter “cool” territory again.
It’s like this:*We’re here on a sloppy February Saturday at the grand opening of Frank Greenberg’s new Noco Mini Mart on Genesee Street going towards Williamsville. There’s some wet snow flying around outside, but inside we got a ton of give aways and specials like 2 hot dogs for $1 and free samples of pizza minis!*
Yeah, the only less-cool place would be broadcasting from the offices of the high school newspaper – which I’m sure that they tried, except that the local high school is shut down on the weekends.
And why do they have to broadcast like there’s a 24/7 keg party going on? The other day I’m trying to listen to the traffic report because there was a basketball game downtown, and that makes a big difference where I drive. I usually hate traffic reports. They never say anything that makes a difference and they jam through them so fast you never understand what they’re talking about anyway. But this station decided that even rushed through, they were too boring and everyone would change stations if subjected to this crap for 10 seconds. So, they crank background music throughout the report. I couldn’t hear a damn word. I got stuck in the game traffic, too. Thanks, guys.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And the debate between old and new technology rages. I heard some guy cutting down CDs in favor of records, saying that CDs don’t have any soul or some other crap. CDs more faithfully present the sound actually generated by a live band. When I first got a CD player, I noticed each note, whereas the same sound on vinyl and definitely on tape would be far less clear.
For instance, I could hear the faint slide of a guitarist’s fingers on the strings in between the notes on some occasions. And, you just can’t play vinyl in the car or go jogging with it. Vinyl is more expensive to make. Vinyl scratches easier than a CD. The needle wears out. After you listen to a vinyl album several times, audio quality declines. I mean, should we just hold on to a piece of old technology that provides no advantages just because of some immeasurable, subjective quality called “soul”?
The same argument is being applied to the recent demise of Polaroid’s Instamatic film. They’ve stopped making it. Some die-hard fans are just torn up saying that they could never do without it. And the “soul” argument was used, too. I could see that argument with high end film cameras, but an Instamatic? It was point and shoot and the focus was honed in on whatever was closest. Some lady was interviewed who did professional photography used instant film, and got hers specially made to be 20”x20”. Each snap of the camera cost her about a hundred bucks. She believed that knowing that each shot cost so much, the photographer would take greater care to get it just right. But 100 years ago, wouldn’t that have been the argument of the portrait painters against film camera? Anyone could just snap a picture, but it took a true artist to get a painted portrait just right. You could snap a hundred pictures in a day, but a portrait took a week. Film cameras have no soul! Same with all this light from electricity. Light shouldn’t be as convenient as just flicking on a switch. We should go back to gas lamps. No, even better - candles and torches. Wildly inefficient, smoky, and an enormous fire hazard, but they had SOUL.
And boo-hiss on tap water, too. Too clean, too reliable and too easy. You drink the same tasting water in the summer as you do in the winter? That’s not living! Buckets of water laboriously hauled up in all weather conditions make you appreciate each drop. Water from the local scum laden pond has SOUL.
Music, especially rock music, grew up as singles. Now, I guess we’re moving back to that, and people are lamenting the demise of album orientation. It’s like the way this guy invented a way to pull the pits out of olives before they’re pressed for olive oil. The olive oil aficionados say that the pit lends some taste and that’s the way it has been made for centuries. The guy who invented the pitter responded that the ancient Greeks used to pit the olives before they pressed them, so his way was actually a return to the REALLY old style and not a new fangled style per se. However, modern recipes are written for the merely centuries old olive oil, and I’m sure that if you add the wrong kind of olive oil you would incinerate the delicate palate of your canned green bean recipe.
+++++++++++++++++++
I’m still training for my race. I dreamt last night that I was on the starting line and I was drunk and unprepared. I hadn’t even tied my shoes when the gun went off. But then again, the race was taking place inside a gigantic shopping mall, so I can’t see it being some kind of telepathic message sent from the future. Then the bikini babes came out. It was around then that I began to suspect things weren’t real.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
60% of MBA school is stuff that you could have figured out on your own. But if you say “I would have thought of that myself!” I say “Yeah, but ya didn’t, didja?”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a switch on the wall outside my office with no discernable purpose. Normally, such things are of no consequence and can be safely ignored. But this is a red LED lit switch. I shudder to think of what Earthly catastrophe could take place if it were turned off. What is behind this switch? What can it be? Oh, I’m just so tempted!
++++++++++++++++++++++++
My high hopes for the current Rex Morgan storyline are dropping precipitously. Instead of moving on with the story, Rex got bogged down in one of those conversations with his wife, June. That’s instant plot quicksand. Next week, no new developments, but Rex is concerned!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
But what do “they” know, anyway? “They” also say that George Washington wore wooden teeth, and that ostriches bury their heads.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’ve started to read books in song format even when they don’t rhyme or have any kind of meter. How do you sing a book of prose? Badly. Last night, my entire audience walked out during an operatic performance of Cinderella. I thought I got them hooked when the rhythm turned a-rockin’ when she ran down the palace steps at midnight, and then I got slow and sad as the coach turned back into a pumpkin. But that’s the moment when the kids took off. Ah, I expect a poor review in tomorrow’s Times. But, damn the critics! Yes, I sing absurdly and I have no talent, but damn them anyway!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I read an interesting article on willpower. It’s apparently a lot like muscle. You can achieve great feats of will, but then it leaves you less capable of such feats in the near term. Over time, you can build your willpower, like you would build your athletic ability when you’re training. So, if you begin a new training regimen, you will more likely slack off in other areas. That may explain why so many people who quit smoking, for instance, quickly gain weight soon afterwards. I’m using my willpower to train harder, and I don’t have that much left over to resist many other temptations. Americans work long hours, and that seems to result in overspending, overeating and under-exercising. No, the article didn’t carry the theory the extra step to chide America on our collective bad habits. That’s my personal touch. By blowing my willpower budget on waking up early, I don’t have much left to run the miles hard. To answer why I’m running them at all is because what the hell else are you going to do when you wake up at 4:00? That’s so goddamn early that I don’t even think the internet is awake.
++++++++++++++++
I never understood this “elephant in the room” thing. What, like elephants are so common in rooms that no one mentions it? Very, very tiny elephants, perhaps made of ceramics? I can’t figure it out. Does it have to do with those six blind guys and the elephant? In that analogy, each blind guy mistook the elephant as something else, but they at least acknowledged that it existed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I hate job applications. The federal government centralized their application system. If you fill out their application, theoretically it can be referenced for any federal job. In practice, I filled out an extensive application for one job a month or two ago, and now I’m going for another job. But the second job does not accept electronic applications in any form. They insist that you fill out Form OF 612, which is pretty much the same stuff as the electronic version on the centralized web site. The form is, of course, offered on line, but you can’t just copy and paste to it. So I get to see the dismal record of my life’s non-accomplishments. Not only am I forced to confront it, but I’m getting a hand cramp trying to elaborate my experience as a boring accounting drone. God, I hate filling out applications.
I created a check tracking database in 2002. Want to hear more?
I got Seinfeld seasons 1 & 2 on video from the library. In the pilot, Kramer was identified as “Kessler”. No Elaine yet, either. The first season was only five episodes. They tacked it together with season 2, which was only 13 episodes. The shows were still about nothing, though, so don’t ask for a plot synopsis.
Oh, and the Costanza “opposite” theory goes back to the pilot, although he admits that he never does it himself.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I saw yet another action/adventure movie where the chief bad guy kills his own 2nd in command. “You’ve failed me! Now you die!” What is it with these evil overlords that they don’t understand job training, development and retention? How do they plan on recruiting if that’s their policy on failure? Well, breaking stuff that you don’t have to pay for is certainly a job perk, I must admit. It would be like joining the Chinese army just to beat up on some Tibetans.
It would be great if it worked out so well in real life. If Bin Laden just up and killed his second in command. “You’ve failed to destroy America! Now you die!” “Aaaarrrgggh!” Then we’d implode whatever cave Osama is living in, because you know he’s got to go out with a ton of special effects. Maybe we’ll see him running with rocks coming down all around, yet he’ll make it out somehow for part 2 and 3. Some secret lab will clone a piece of his charred remains for “Osama 4: A New Beginning!” Then come the action figures, video games and a cross promotion with McDonald’s fries. Very ironic, actually, since Osama is trying to destroy Western capitalism.
+++++++++++++++++++
It burns me that digital songs cost about the same as getting a CD from the store. A digital song costs nothing to ship and there are no liner notes, art or lyrics. I don’t begrudge them getting some revenue for their efforts, but I’d like to share in the savings.
+++++++++++++++++++
I’ve worked with job recruiters, and they don’t deliver much. When I was job searching a few years back, I sent my resume to the same recruiter six or seven times. Each time, they would interview me. Then I’d call two weeks later, and they would have no record of the whole thing. They kept claiming that all these CPA firms were clamoring for someone with my background, then it was like they were Monty Burns from the Simpsons. “Who is that man, Smithers?” “Homer Simpson, sir, same as every other episode that you have asked.” Anyway, recruiters ask for a list of places that I’ve applied. I tell them some things I saw in the paper. “Oh, we had a line on a job there, but we can’t represent you if you’ve already applied on your own.” Great, so they look in the classified section for me. Wow.
My Monster.com agent keeps emailing me all these crappy jobs every day. Most don’t post how much they pay, but I assume that “retail cashier” can’t possibly support my family. I don’t know what algorithm they used to match an MBA/CPA with 17 years experience with a job commonly held by 16 year olds cracking gum. Maybe they should hire me to fix it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Commonwealth of KY revamped the policy on banned web sites while at work. It doesn’t bother me much. What I do is usually “incidental personal use”. The strange part of the new policy is that it blocks sites about toys, but does NOT block sites about weapons. Not just your average gun site, either. This is defined as:
Weapons: This category deals with firearms and accessories, weapons such as knives, ammunition and tear gas, other lethal weapons and Web sites related to military, defense, militaria and paintball.
So I can’t buy the new Gears of War for Playstation, but I can order real tear gas and automatic weapons.
The policy blocks personal home pages and dating services. But to placate the ACLU, we are not blocked from
Sects - This category contains Web sites about sects, cults, occultism, satanism and religious fundamentalism.
We’re blocked from Facebook, but we can read all about tree-elf-hugging teen hippies on their commercial web sites.
++++++++++++++++++++++
As I look at the headlines, I see that American slavery from the 18th and 19th centuries was “America’s Original Sin”. Oh. I suppose stealing land from the Indians wouldn’t be a sin then. That’s a relief. Glad to have that off my back.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I hate job applications. Some places have a pretty automated application process, and you can find a position and apply inside of ten or twenty minutes. The feds have been requiring a bunch of open ended but specific questions for their applications. Some I give them both barrels, because I have the experience. Some I have to flub because I can’t just say “I have no idea what you just asked.” They give you a maximum of 8000 characters to describe your specific experience. I want to take as much advantage of all that space. But I don’t get to tell interesting experiences like that Halloween when I dressed up like Madonna and nearly got beat up by a bunch of dirty biker Mexicans at Mulligan’s Brick Bar. That’s a story worth 8000 characters. That check tracking database that I created in 2002? Eh, not so much.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
I just changed my desktop image to “Java”. You know, that little coffee cup on a saucer with the comforting curl of steam rising from its surface. Ooh, Java, take me away. Let me stretch out my shaking hands to reach for your warmth, your bitter goodness. Oh, I taste your sweet mocha and artificial flavor additives enshrined in brackish liquid and my thirst is slaked. I now call upon thy caffeinated richness to enliven my weary body for another day. When you are by my side, you are my companion, my right hand man in the daily battle waged in my cubicle on keyboard, screen and paper printout. When you are gone, I yearn for your pleasant aroma, and feel your absence. Oh, Java, how I do adore thee!
Oh, and the Costanza “opposite” theory goes back to the pilot, although he admits that he never does it himself.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I saw yet another action/adventure movie where the chief bad guy kills his own 2nd in command. “You’ve failed me! Now you die!” What is it with these evil overlords that they don’t understand job training, development and retention? How do they plan on recruiting if that’s their policy on failure? Well, breaking stuff that you don’t have to pay for is certainly a job perk, I must admit. It would be like joining the Chinese army just to beat up on some Tibetans.
It would be great if it worked out so well in real life. If Bin Laden just up and killed his second in command. “You’ve failed to destroy America! Now you die!” “Aaaarrrgggh!” Then we’d implode whatever cave Osama is living in, because you know he’s got to go out with a ton of special effects. Maybe we’ll see him running with rocks coming down all around, yet he’ll make it out somehow for part 2 and 3. Some secret lab will clone a piece of his charred remains for “Osama 4: A New Beginning!” Then come the action figures, video games and a cross promotion with McDonald’s fries. Very ironic, actually, since Osama is trying to destroy Western capitalism.
+++++++++++++++++++
It burns me that digital songs cost about the same as getting a CD from the store. A digital song costs nothing to ship and there are no liner notes, art or lyrics. I don’t begrudge them getting some revenue for their efforts, but I’d like to share in the savings.
+++++++++++++++++++
I’ve worked with job recruiters, and they don’t deliver much. When I was job searching a few years back, I sent my resume to the same recruiter six or seven times. Each time, they would interview me. Then I’d call two weeks later, and they would have no record of the whole thing. They kept claiming that all these CPA firms were clamoring for someone with my background, then it was like they were Monty Burns from the Simpsons. “Who is that man, Smithers?” “Homer Simpson, sir, same as every other episode that you have asked.” Anyway, recruiters ask for a list of places that I’ve applied. I tell them some things I saw in the paper. “Oh, we had a line on a job there, but we can’t represent you if you’ve already applied on your own.” Great, so they look in the classified section for me. Wow.
My Monster.com agent keeps emailing me all these crappy jobs every day. Most don’t post how much they pay, but I assume that “retail cashier” can’t possibly support my family. I don’t know what algorithm they used to match an MBA/CPA with 17 years experience with a job commonly held by 16 year olds cracking gum. Maybe they should hire me to fix it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Commonwealth of KY revamped the policy on banned web sites while at work. It doesn’t bother me much. What I do is usually “incidental personal use”. The strange part of the new policy is that it blocks sites about toys, but does NOT block sites about weapons. Not just your average gun site, either. This is defined as:
Weapons: This category deals with firearms and accessories, weapons such as knives, ammunition and tear gas, other lethal weapons and Web sites related to military, defense, militaria and paintball.
So I can’t buy the new Gears of War for Playstation, but I can order real tear gas and automatic weapons.
The policy blocks personal home pages and dating services. But to placate the ACLU, we are not blocked from
Sects - This category contains Web sites about sects, cults, occultism, satanism and religious fundamentalism.
We’re blocked from Facebook, but we can read all about tree-elf-hugging teen hippies on their commercial web sites.
++++++++++++++++++++++
As I look at the headlines, I see that American slavery from the 18th and 19th centuries was “America’s Original Sin”. Oh. I suppose stealing land from the Indians wouldn’t be a sin then. That’s a relief. Glad to have that off my back.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I hate job applications. Some places have a pretty automated application process, and you can find a position and apply inside of ten or twenty minutes. The feds have been requiring a bunch of open ended but specific questions for their applications. Some I give them both barrels, because I have the experience. Some I have to flub because I can’t just say “I have no idea what you just asked.” They give you a maximum of 8000 characters to describe your specific experience. I want to take as much advantage of all that space. But I don’t get to tell interesting experiences like that Halloween when I dressed up like Madonna and nearly got beat up by a bunch of dirty biker Mexicans at Mulligan’s Brick Bar. That’s a story worth 8000 characters. That check tracking database that I created in 2002? Eh, not so much.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
I just changed my desktop image to “Java”. You know, that little coffee cup on a saucer with the comforting curl of steam rising from its surface. Ooh, Java, take me away. Let me stretch out my shaking hands to reach for your warmth, your bitter goodness. Oh, I taste your sweet mocha and artificial flavor additives enshrined in brackish liquid and my thirst is slaked. I now call upon thy caffeinated richness to enliven my weary body for another day. When you are by my side, you are my companion, my right hand man in the daily battle waged in my cubicle on keyboard, screen and paper printout. When you are gone, I yearn for your pleasant aroma, and feel your absence. Oh, Java, how I do adore thee!
Margaret Thatcher's secret fetish
I’m listening to an old CD from the Cranberries Bury the Hatchet. Late in the CD is a song that says how terrible it is to molest children. I’m sure the clandestine pedophiles that used to like this band dropped them right away. Or maybe Michael Jackson listened to it and thought “Even the Cranberries don’t like me. *sniff* That hurts.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Quitters never win. That’s why no one wants to stop smoking.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Palin keeps the press out of her rallies, and bars cell phones and other recording devices. What kind of a politician actively seeks to keep away from the cameras while still holding rallies? If she can’t bear the limelight of being a potential candidate years before the race, how is she going to deal with being President 24 hours per day, when every jackoff with a blog will nitpick her every move?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
20 years after the Berlin Wall came down, secret memos got de-classified. Bush Sr. and Margaret Thatcher were actually against the wall coming down and the re-unification of Germany. All that Republican BS about “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” was phony. After the Wall comes down, who took credit? George Bush Sr., as if he had taken a pickaxe to it himself and singlehandedly smashed it to bits. Thatcher outright demanded that Gorbachev do something with his troops stationed in East Germany. Maybe because Thatcher was a woman, she didn’t know how messed up it is to f*ck Germany while using the Soviet’s d!ck. Seriously, Maggie, it’s rude.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My five year old knows the difference between a red and white wine glass. I’m a bad parent. I probably told her the difference a few months ago, and she put in her vault and she’ll never forget. Meanwhile, I’m still working on “please” and “thank you” for the 11,000th time.
Don’t look at me like that. Red wine glass, white wine glass, whatever. We drink the stuff from a box. It is to wine what McD’s is to burgers. It’s not merlot, it’s McErlot (pronounce the silent ‘t’).
Yet, I can’t stomach drinking from the wrong glass.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Quitters never win. That’s why no one wants to stop smoking.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Palin keeps the press out of her rallies, and bars cell phones and other recording devices. What kind of a politician actively seeks to keep away from the cameras while still holding rallies? If she can’t bear the limelight of being a potential candidate years before the race, how is she going to deal with being President 24 hours per day, when every jackoff with a blog will nitpick her every move?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
20 years after the Berlin Wall came down, secret memos got de-classified. Bush Sr. and Margaret Thatcher were actually against the wall coming down and the re-unification of Germany. All that Republican BS about “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” was phony. After the Wall comes down, who took credit? George Bush Sr., as if he had taken a pickaxe to it himself and singlehandedly smashed it to bits. Thatcher outright demanded that Gorbachev do something with his troops stationed in East Germany. Maybe because Thatcher was a woman, she didn’t know how messed up it is to f*ck Germany while using the Soviet’s d!ck. Seriously, Maggie, it’s rude.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My five year old knows the difference between a red and white wine glass. I’m a bad parent. I probably told her the difference a few months ago, and she put in her vault and she’ll never forget. Meanwhile, I’m still working on “please” and “thank you” for the 11,000th time.
Don’t look at me like that. Red wine glass, white wine glass, whatever. We drink the stuff from a box. It is to wine what McD’s is to burgers. It’s not merlot, it’s McErlot (pronounce the silent ‘t’).
Yet, I can’t stomach drinking from the wrong glass.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
CDs, CGI, CSI, GI Punk and lots more!
So here I am, working at the state. In contrast to private enterprise, we work together as one. That is to say, the entire department has the output of a single individual.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As a result of voyaging into the library CD collection, I heard the Rush CD “Feedback”. I’m not used to a CD in this day and age that is only 27 minutes long. But on the plus side, I didn’t have to pay for it.
+++++++++++++++++++
A colleague is turning 60, and my co-workers put up a big banner that says “Over The Hill”. It’s a trite joke at 40. I think when you’re around at 60, it’s sort of cruel.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
On election day 2008 my politically ignorant neighbor woman said that she voted against Obama because he would do all sorts of pro-abortion things. It’s already legal, so I’m not sure what else would happen. Anyway, it’s all about abortion to her. So today I read that more young people are pro-life than a year ago. I also read that there were more teen abortions in 2006 than in previous years. So once the nation’s youth makes up their minds, I’m sure it will be Obama’s fault one way or the other.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
In a marathon, I don’t feel like I hit “the wall”. If I were to coin a term, I’d call it “sandbagged”. I feel like I’m gradually filling up with sand, and 3 miles from the finish, those bags are getting really heavy.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today, I had the perfect park. It was sweet. I called out my friends and colleagues to come out and see. It wasn’t an easy lot-park, either. It was the tough stuff. The dreaded parallel park, you know. It was so well-done that people walking by took notice and started asking questions. Yeah, it was a back-in. Those people who go front-first into a parking space are really just trying to show off, and you can always tell that by the quality of the end result. I measured to make sure that the space between my car and the car in front was exactly equal to the space between my car and the car in back. One guy asked me if it was a 5 inch differential between the car and curb. No, it was actually a 4 incher. I could have gone 3, but then you start getting interaction with the tires when you’re pulling out. I got a good start. My steering wheel was perfectly matched up to the steering wheel of the forward car, then I backed in – slowly, but not too slowly. I was about to loose it, when I suddenly banked the wheels just that extra little bit at the critical moment. I like to pull it forward just a little to straighten the tires before I shut the engine, too. The result? Solid, I tell you. It was real.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m just waiting for a movie called “More CGI Penguins”, because that is clearly what the public is clamoring for.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I impressed my wife with my hipness. We were watching CSI, and in the background was a song from Portisehead, that I correctly identified as being from their new CD. Then I took it a step too far and mentioned that I got it from the library. She basically said that someone bought the CD and then decided that it was such crap that it should be donated or chucked. She might have had a point. The song in question was being played in the background of a bondage-themed sex house. “Whip me, beat me, anything! Just don’t make me listen to that sh!tty Portisehead CD again!”
++++++++++++++++++++++
I swear that it is as true as anything else on the internet, the soldiers at Guantanamo have been playing loud rock music to torture the enemies of America. Oh my gawd. What, like some waterboard-hardened, would-be-suicide-terrorist would be unnerved by Metallica’s “The Unforgiven III”? True enough, the Barney song would have me begging for stress positions in a hurry, but I can totally rock out to Sesame Street. You can’t break me, I was raised on that shiite! You heard me! Give it up for Big Bird and Bert the Bad@ss, y’all. Yeah, give it to me, G.I. Punk!
Really, when you consider that soldiers are really kids in their late teens to early thirties, the music isn’t anything that they, the soldiers aren’t listening to- very loudly.
Terrorist: “Please, Infidel, stop making me listen to the new Metallica! If it were the “Justice For All”, I could take it, preferably something from “Master of Puppets”. But I hardly recognize this band anymore! I’ll confess to anything! Just stop with these good bands past their prime!”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As a result of voyaging into the library CD collection, I heard the Rush CD “Feedback”. I’m not used to a CD in this day and age that is only 27 minutes long. But on the plus side, I didn’t have to pay for it.
+++++++++++++++++++
A colleague is turning 60, and my co-workers put up a big banner that says “Over The Hill”. It’s a trite joke at 40. I think when you’re around at 60, it’s sort of cruel.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
On election day 2008 my politically ignorant neighbor woman said that she voted against Obama because he would do all sorts of pro-abortion things. It’s already legal, so I’m not sure what else would happen. Anyway, it’s all about abortion to her. So today I read that more young people are pro-life than a year ago. I also read that there were more teen abortions in 2006 than in previous years. So once the nation’s youth makes up their minds, I’m sure it will be Obama’s fault one way or the other.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
In a marathon, I don’t feel like I hit “the wall”. If I were to coin a term, I’d call it “sandbagged”. I feel like I’m gradually filling up with sand, and 3 miles from the finish, those bags are getting really heavy.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today, I had the perfect park. It was sweet. I called out my friends and colleagues to come out and see. It wasn’t an easy lot-park, either. It was the tough stuff. The dreaded parallel park, you know. It was so well-done that people walking by took notice and started asking questions. Yeah, it was a back-in. Those people who go front-first into a parking space are really just trying to show off, and you can always tell that by the quality of the end result. I measured to make sure that the space between my car and the car in front was exactly equal to the space between my car and the car in back. One guy asked me if it was a 5 inch differential between the car and curb. No, it was actually a 4 incher. I could have gone 3, but then you start getting interaction with the tires when you’re pulling out. I got a good start. My steering wheel was perfectly matched up to the steering wheel of the forward car, then I backed in – slowly, but not too slowly. I was about to loose it, when I suddenly banked the wheels just that extra little bit at the critical moment. I like to pull it forward just a little to straighten the tires before I shut the engine, too. The result? Solid, I tell you. It was real.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m just waiting for a movie called “More CGI Penguins”, because that is clearly what the public is clamoring for.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I impressed my wife with my hipness. We were watching CSI, and in the background was a song from Portisehead, that I correctly identified as being from their new CD. Then I took it a step too far and mentioned that I got it from the library. She basically said that someone bought the CD and then decided that it was such crap that it should be donated or chucked. She might have had a point. The song in question was being played in the background of a bondage-themed sex house. “Whip me, beat me, anything! Just don’t make me listen to that sh!tty Portisehead CD again!”
++++++++++++++++++++++
I swear that it is as true as anything else on the internet, the soldiers at Guantanamo have been playing loud rock music to torture the enemies of America. Oh my gawd. What, like some waterboard-hardened, would-be-suicide-terrorist would be unnerved by Metallica’s “The Unforgiven III”? True enough, the Barney song would have me begging for stress positions in a hurry, but I can totally rock out to Sesame Street. You can’t break me, I was raised on that shiite! You heard me! Give it up for Big Bird and Bert the Bad@ss, y’all. Yeah, give it to me, G.I. Punk!
Really, when you consider that soldiers are really kids in their late teens to early thirties, the music isn’t anything that they, the soldiers aren’t listening to- very loudly.
Terrorist: “Please, Infidel, stop making me listen to the new Metallica! If it were the “Justice For All”, I could take it, preferably something from “Master of Puppets”. But I hardly recognize this band anymore! I’ll confess to anything! Just stop with these good bands past their prime!”
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Talking mimes, baguettes and Valentine's for preschoolers
Why was the 70s a breeding ground of bad pop music? I’m not talking about “bad” as in “good”, like things were in those topsy-turvy 80s. I mean just sucky. I’m not even referring to the current climate, where every new act is a media zombie and the product is soulless, overproduced and dull. When else could Minnie Riverton (Lovin’ You – is easy ‘cause you’re beautiful) have had a big hit with such a over-the-top, saccharine and cheese-packed song? Back then, it wasn’t even considered an abhorrent nightmare of sap that strains the eardrums and sends small pets scurrying when she hits the upper registers of human auditory ability are tested as the song is today. In fact, if you look in dictionaries from that time, and turn to the page with “sh!ttiest song in all of recorded history”, you usually won’t even find an entry.
Don’t even get me started on Captain & Tenille, who not only scored a string of hits, culminating with “Muskrat Love”, but went on and got their own variety show. Variety shows were pretty standard stuff in the 70s, considering they even gave one to Shields & Yarnell, a pair of mimes. TV execs: Mimes on television, you say? Yes, we’ve got to capitalize on this mime-wave that’s sweeping the country. Ha, you try that, radio guys! Our ratings will be through the roof! Oh, that’s “crime wave”, not “mime wave”? Put ‘em on anyway. A full hour on the Tuesday night lineup. If that doesn’t work, give those mimes a radio show.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Another outdated movie review - I just saw “Les Miserables” from 1998. The premise is that this guy stole a loaf of bread and was sentenced to some grossly unjust amount of time in prison. He served 19 years and then was let out on parole. He broke parole and became a fugitive. There’s inspector Cleseau chasing him around France for an additional 19 years. After 38 years the Parisian law enforcement machine will not let up the persecution of the criminal mastermind responsible for perpetrating the great baguette caper of 1771. Sacre bleu!
And a baguette really ought to be a “little bagel”, dontcha think?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t usually tell tales of my kids. Kid stories are either sickeningly sweet, or just sickening; like when the subject matter involves the frequency, color or consistency of poop. Then comes some vignette of how it wound up in various locations not normally associated with fecal matter. TMI, anyone?
A non-poop, non-sickeningly sweet story: They had little Valentine’s parties at their day care. Of course it’s healthy to shove two year olds into the notions of romantic love with those of differing or similar genders, so long as no one feels left out. Anyway, I looked at the little dinky cards that they exchanged, the cheapest cards that could possibly be purchased and thrown away because the kids can’t read. Anyway, there were some with random cartoonish hearts and Cinderellas and Snow Whites. For the boys, there were a few Spiderman cards with slight puns like “I’m stuck on you!”
The most bizarre and inappropriate cross-marketing attempts were the Transformers valentines. I’m a testosterone poisoned macho guy, but I just don’t see any correlation between robotic monstrosities and 4 year old puppy love. There was some rather stern looking face of armor peering over the side of a military transport unit from outer space. “I’M SEARCHING FOR YOU, VALENTINE.” Another, a Transformer with a gigantic war-weapon-doodle-whacker-laser-cannon. “I SHALL PROVE THAT I AM THE BEST, VALENTINE!” At least the gun wasn’t pointed directly at the reader, but nothing says “I (heart) U” than vaguely human, war-mongering chunks of metal with glowing red eyes. They must have Decepticon cards for the kids you don’t really like. Next to transformers and terminators, even ninjas look like little cupids.
Don’t even get me started on Captain & Tenille, who not only scored a string of hits, culminating with “Muskrat Love”, but went on and got their own variety show. Variety shows were pretty standard stuff in the 70s, considering they even gave one to Shields & Yarnell, a pair of mimes. TV execs: Mimes on television, you say? Yes, we’ve got to capitalize on this mime-wave that’s sweeping the country. Ha, you try that, radio guys! Our ratings will be through the roof! Oh, that’s “crime wave”, not “mime wave”? Put ‘em on anyway. A full hour on the Tuesday night lineup. If that doesn’t work, give those mimes a radio show.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Another outdated movie review - I just saw “Les Miserables” from 1998. The premise is that this guy stole a loaf of bread and was sentenced to some grossly unjust amount of time in prison. He served 19 years and then was let out on parole. He broke parole and became a fugitive. There’s inspector Cleseau chasing him around France for an additional 19 years. After 38 years the Parisian law enforcement machine will not let up the persecution of the criminal mastermind responsible for perpetrating the great baguette caper of 1771. Sacre bleu!
And a baguette really ought to be a “little bagel”, dontcha think?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t usually tell tales of my kids. Kid stories are either sickeningly sweet, or just sickening; like when the subject matter involves the frequency, color or consistency of poop. Then comes some vignette of how it wound up in various locations not normally associated with fecal matter. TMI, anyone?
A non-poop, non-sickeningly sweet story: They had little Valentine’s parties at their day care. Of course it’s healthy to shove two year olds into the notions of romantic love with those of differing or similar genders, so long as no one feels left out. Anyway, I looked at the little dinky cards that they exchanged, the cheapest cards that could possibly be purchased and thrown away because the kids can’t read. Anyway, there were some with random cartoonish hearts and Cinderellas and Snow Whites. For the boys, there were a few Spiderman cards with slight puns like “I’m stuck on you!”
The most bizarre and inappropriate cross-marketing attempts were the Transformers valentines. I’m a testosterone poisoned macho guy, but I just don’t see any correlation between robotic monstrosities and 4 year old puppy love. There was some rather stern looking face of armor peering over the side of a military transport unit from outer space. “I’M SEARCHING FOR YOU, VALENTINE.” Another, a Transformer with a gigantic war-weapon-doodle-whacker-laser-cannon. “I SHALL PROVE THAT I AM THE BEST, VALENTINE!” At least the gun wasn’t pointed directly at the reader, but nothing says “I (heart) U” than vaguely human, war-mongering chunks of metal with glowing red eyes. They must have Decepticon cards for the kids you don’t really like. Next to transformers and terminators, even ninjas look like little cupids.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Bipartisanship: An endagered species on the brink
I'm a Republican, but I'm no partisan hack that just wants to say "hooray for my team" versus promoting things that are beneficial to the country. Bipartisanship vs. more gridlock. Compromise vs. petty sniping. That's why I have problems with people as disparate as Nancy Pelosi and Ann Coulter. They bicker and crack wise when they should be offering sound policy and thoughtful commentary (respectively). Neither party is the "enemy". Neither party wants to destroy America. If either party had a 100% majority, it would only hurt the nation. So no, I'm not rooting for larger Democratic or Republican gains this November. I'm rooting for the true underdog, the spirit of cooperation.
_____________________________________
I got the old British TV series “The Prisoner” from the library. I’ve been reading rave reviews for decades now, so it was about time I checked it out. The set up is essentially that some secret agent resigns, but then his secret agency kidnaps him and sticks him in a weird island resort called “The Village” and keep calling him “Number Six”. They want “information”. They never phrase it in the form of a question, so he never answers. I don’t know what information they want, as they reveal that they have been secretly observing this guy since he was a child.
Number 2 (threateningly): We want INFORMATION.
Number 6: So? Dial 4-1-1.
In the very first minutes of the show, Number Six quits his agency and packs bags to get out of town. We see a very brief glimpse of a picture of a tropical island that he stashes into his briefcase. We presume that is where he was headed until he is kidnapped and put on – a tropical island. Free of charge he gets a nice furnished apartment and a personal maid. What’s the problem, Six, no tiki bar?
No one escapes The Village due to the least threatening villain ever put on film. It’s a flabby white balloon about three feet across – sorry, this is British – one meter across. It slowly bounces towards you in a threatening manner. Scary! If you stand still long enough like a deer in the headlights, it will land on you and engulf you! Look out! Punching it doesn’t work. I can’t figure out what else to do to defeat the bubble menace. It’s invulnerable! However, Number Six hid in some bushes once, and the orb thing gave up and left. Scary!
__________________________
I saw Dracula 2000. Nothing says “timeless classic” like a movie with the year in the title. It was pretty crappy and unscary until the final 10 minutes. Then it was only unscary. This Dracula couldn’t be killed with a stake through his heart, he had to be hung. Anyway, he’s dying on the noose and he says to the girl (there’s always a girl that he’s trying to vampirize) “I release you.” What? He can do that? Un-vampirize someone?
I found it pretty odd that he could say anything while choking to death, too.
_______________________________
So the Republican media machine is gearing up to attack this health care thing one last time. I can imagine a back room planning strategy session where they argue which cliché would resonate more with their base.
“This plan is nuclear Armageddon for the American people!”
“Nah, that sounds too cold-war-ish.”
“A perfect storm of health care.”
“That George Clooney movie? He polls too high with the female demographic.”
“If this bill is not repealed, the terrorists have already won!”
“I like that, but we’re using that slogan to extend the Bush-era tax cuts.”
“Obamacare is a perfect tsunami of Armageddeathpanel the terrorists won at the holocaust!”
“Great! We go with that.”
“Plus draw some funny pictures of Nancy Pelosi. Look. Haw haw. I drew her with a big mouth and crazy hair! Haw haw!”
________________________________
I was listening to the latest stuff from U2 and the latest from the Eagles. It’s not that the Eagles sounded bad. They were good. But they were boring, old, no energy. U2, on the other hand, proves why they are still on their game after nearly three decades. They’re like the Rolling Stones, without the drug overdoses. And the Stones had a 22 year head start.
True, there will only be one Joshua Tree and one Achtung! Baby, but U2 hasn’t forgotten what made them famous. So belt it out, Bono! Rock on, Edge! And you two other guys with regular names, yeah, you’re pretty good, too.
_____________________________________
I got the old British TV series “The Prisoner” from the library. I’ve been reading rave reviews for decades now, so it was about time I checked it out. The set up is essentially that some secret agent resigns, but then his secret agency kidnaps him and sticks him in a weird island resort called “The Village” and keep calling him “Number Six”. They want “information”. They never phrase it in the form of a question, so he never answers. I don’t know what information they want, as they reveal that they have been secretly observing this guy since he was a child.
Number 2 (threateningly): We want INFORMATION.
Number 6: So? Dial 4-1-1.
In the very first minutes of the show, Number Six quits his agency and packs bags to get out of town. We see a very brief glimpse of a picture of a tropical island that he stashes into his briefcase. We presume that is where he was headed until he is kidnapped and put on – a tropical island. Free of charge he gets a nice furnished apartment and a personal maid. What’s the problem, Six, no tiki bar?
No one escapes The Village due to the least threatening villain ever put on film. It’s a flabby white balloon about three feet across – sorry, this is British – one meter across. It slowly bounces towards you in a threatening manner. Scary! If you stand still long enough like a deer in the headlights, it will land on you and engulf you! Look out! Punching it doesn’t work. I can’t figure out what else to do to defeat the bubble menace. It’s invulnerable! However, Number Six hid in some bushes once, and the orb thing gave up and left. Scary!
__________________________
I saw Dracula 2000. Nothing says “timeless classic” like a movie with the year in the title. It was pretty crappy and unscary until the final 10 minutes. Then it was only unscary. This Dracula couldn’t be killed with a stake through his heart, he had to be hung. Anyway, he’s dying on the noose and he says to the girl (there’s always a girl that he’s trying to vampirize) “I release you.” What? He can do that? Un-vampirize someone?
I found it pretty odd that he could say anything while choking to death, too.
_______________________________
So the Republican media machine is gearing up to attack this health care thing one last time. I can imagine a back room planning strategy session where they argue which cliché would resonate more with their base.
“This plan is nuclear Armageddon for the American people!”
“Nah, that sounds too cold-war-ish.”
“A perfect storm of health care.”
“That George Clooney movie? He polls too high with the female demographic.”
“If this bill is not repealed, the terrorists have already won!”
“I like that, but we’re using that slogan to extend the Bush-era tax cuts.”
“Obamacare is a perfect tsunami of Armageddeathpanel the terrorists won at the holocaust!”
“Great! We go with that.”
“Plus draw some funny pictures of Nancy Pelosi. Look. Haw haw. I drew her with a big mouth and crazy hair! Haw haw!”
________________________________
I was listening to the latest stuff from U2 and the latest from the Eagles. It’s not that the Eagles sounded bad. They were good. But they were boring, old, no energy. U2, on the other hand, proves why they are still on their game after nearly three decades. They’re like the Rolling Stones, without the drug overdoses. And the Stones had a 22 year head start.
True, there will only be one Joshua Tree and one Achtung! Baby, but U2 hasn’t forgotten what made them famous. So belt it out, Bono! Rock on, Edge! And you two other guys with regular names, yeah, you’re pretty good, too.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Non-news, long dead music stars and a review of a dozen movies that I haven't seen
Non-news event that is being blasted across the headlines: Holiday travelers face delays at airports! Oh, I would never have guessed! Air travel can be frustrating? What? With all the money, technology and the 80+ years of commercial air flight, that they’d have all the bugs worked out. But, there are problems you say? You’re kidding! Really? That probably would be news here in KY, where most people travel by horse and buggy. The standard at the airport is a biplane and next year we move up to the DC-3.
____________________
I like to listen to classical music while I work. I’m out of touch with modern popular culture, so I like to imagine what the cool kids of the 18th century listened to for kicks.
“Listen, the orchestra is doing Marriage of Figaro Overture.”
“That is so overplayed. That and Die Zauberflöte.”
“Yeah! Every goddamn recital! I’m sick of them. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik deserves it.”
“Dude, you check out the new Requiem by Mozart? That is slammin’!”
“Yeah, he’s really trying for a comeback with that one.”
“Good luck, I heard he’s dead.”
“Oh man. Sucks. I was really into his early stuff.”
“You know the Alphabet Song?”
“A-B-C-D-E-F-G… everyone knows that.”
“That was Mozart, bro.”
“No way!”
“Way.”
“So what are you into now?”
“That new guy, Haydn.”
“Eh, he’s ok. I like Ignatz von Beeke.”
“Yeah, boooiii! That guy jams on the harpsichord!”
“String Quartet in G Presto; that is the shit, knowwhatI’msayin?”
“Hey, you know that Juliette chick that’s always hangin’ around the castle?”
“Yeah, she’s into Salieri. Beyotch.”
“She has a Francesco Benucci concert corset, but she didn’t even go to the show.”
“What a poser.”
“You should definitely ‘do’ her.”
“’Do’ her, like make scandalous eye contact in public??”
“Yeah, then don’t send your messenger boy to her estate the next day. Heh heh.”
“Man! That’s harsh, bro! I’m gonna do it. Let’s do it!”
____________________________
A slew of big movies are coming out this summer. Remakes, reboots, rehashes. Harry Potter and the…. Something That Sounds Vaguely Scary Part XXV2 – yeah, that’s a gimme.
Russell Crowe is going to be Robin Hood. It did so much for Kevin Cosner’s career.
Another Shrek, another Toy Story, another Iron Man, another Vampire thingy. Another… Tron? It takes guts to make a sequel to a huge, 28 year old flop.
The A Team is coming to the big screen. Maybe this bunch will shoot, blow stuff up and actually kill someone. It’s like the TV version trained at the Stormtrooper School of Marksmanship.
The recipe: Take some old tv show. Make a movie. Result: Box office gold. The A-Team. Sex & the City 2 (both a TV series and a sequel) There’s a Nickelodeon show unfortunately called “Avatar” that is recreated in a movie called “The Last Airbender”. I’m going to buy the rights to “Car 54 Where Are You?”, “What’s Happening?” and “Golden Girls”. They’re ripe for a big budget remake, I’m telling you.
Freddy Krueger is getting a reboot. Clash of the Titans is getting a remake. Was anyone clamoring for these? C’mon, show of hands. Really? You in the back? Oh, you were just scratching your armpit. I see.
In the legacy of Judge Dredd, Swamp Thing, Watchmen, Constantine and Hellboy; Jonas Hex is the graphic novel next coming to the silver screen. You need one of those every summer, or the sun will not shine, crops will die and worldwide famine will ensue. Watch this movie and those like it or suffer the consequences, mankind.
Given the choice between watching another Judge Dredd or Hellboy versus total annihilation, mankind selects the latter.
____________________
I like to listen to classical music while I work. I’m out of touch with modern popular culture, so I like to imagine what the cool kids of the 18th century listened to for kicks.
“Listen, the orchestra is doing Marriage of Figaro Overture.”
“That is so overplayed. That and Die Zauberflöte.”
“Yeah! Every goddamn recital! I’m sick of them. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik deserves it.”
“Dude, you check out the new Requiem by Mozart? That is slammin’!”
“Yeah, he’s really trying for a comeback with that one.”
“Good luck, I heard he’s dead.”
“Oh man. Sucks. I was really into his early stuff.”
“You know the Alphabet Song?”
“A-B-C-D-E-F-G… everyone knows that.”
“That was Mozart, bro.”
“No way!”
“Way.”
“So what are you into now?”
“That new guy, Haydn.”
“Eh, he’s ok. I like Ignatz von Beeke.”
“Yeah, boooiii! That guy jams on the harpsichord!”
“String Quartet in G Presto; that is the shit, knowwhatI’msayin?”
“Hey, you know that Juliette chick that’s always hangin’ around the castle?”
“Yeah, she’s into Salieri. Beyotch.”
“She has a Francesco Benucci concert corset, but she didn’t even go to the show.”
“What a poser.”
“You should definitely ‘do’ her.”
“’Do’ her, like make scandalous eye contact in public??”
“Yeah, then don’t send your messenger boy to her estate the next day. Heh heh.”
“Man! That’s harsh, bro! I’m gonna do it. Let’s do it!”
____________________________
A slew of big movies are coming out this summer. Remakes, reboots, rehashes. Harry Potter and the…. Something That Sounds Vaguely Scary Part XXV2 – yeah, that’s a gimme.
Russell Crowe is going to be Robin Hood. It did so much for Kevin Cosner’s career.
Another Shrek, another Toy Story, another Iron Man, another Vampire thingy. Another… Tron? It takes guts to make a sequel to a huge, 28 year old flop.
The A Team is coming to the big screen. Maybe this bunch will shoot, blow stuff up and actually kill someone. It’s like the TV version trained at the Stormtrooper School of Marksmanship.
The recipe: Take some old tv show. Make a movie. Result: Box office gold. The A-Team. Sex & the City 2 (both a TV series and a sequel) There’s a Nickelodeon show unfortunately called “Avatar” that is recreated in a movie called “The Last Airbender”. I’m going to buy the rights to “Car 54 Where Are You?”, “What’s Happening?” and “Golden Girls”. They’re ripe for a big budget remake, I’m telling you.
Freddy Krueger is getting a reboot. Clash of the Titans is getting a remake. Was anyone clamoring for these? C’mon, show of hands. Really? You in the back? Oh, you were just scratching your armpit. I see.
In the legacy of Judge Dredd, Swamp Thing, Watchmen, Constantine and Hellboy; Jonas Hex is the graphic novel next coming to the silver screen. You need one of those every summer, or the sun will not shine, crops will die and worldwide famine will ensue. Watch this movie and those like it or suffer the consequences, mankind.
Given the choice between watching another Judge Dredd or Hellboy versus total annihilation, mankind selects the latter.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Politics, statistics and Brittney's ex husband
People think that the corporations pick the presidents. No, fourteen people in Iowa and a dozen in New Hampshire will winnow the herd of 18 hopeful presidential candidates down to two. The corporations only get to choose between candidate Coke & candidate Pepsi.
_____________________________________
I heard an interesting speaker on statistics – yeah, you read that right. “Interesting” and “statistics” in the same sentence. He says that Kentucky officials have been fretting about the decreased number of younger workers in this state, and many have called it the “brain-drain”, because anyone educated leaves. Turns out that they’re not leaving. They haven’t been born in the first place. Most parents aren’t having a lot of kids, so the population of youngsters decreases. So it’s not that Eastern KY is losing future scholars, they’re just incapable of producing them.
This statistician had a lot of charts, graphs and projections and all that. I don’t know how he makes his 50 year estimates with any reliability. He’s essentially counting the offspring of offspring that have yet to be born.
One result of this demographic shift is that you will have to work longer. I’m already planning that I’ll have to work to 75. Of course, you can’t raise the retirement age 10 years all at once. I’d suggest that you scale it maybe .25 years every 2 years or something like that. If you’re 6 years from retiring, you’d have to work an extra 9 months. Not gonna kill ya. It’s an unpleasant thought to have to work longer, but you can’t make the argument that they couldn’t be prepared.
An area of concern for the future is that the wealthy families don’t have many kids, Blighted areas have population growth. An educated parent, black, white, Latino or Asian is likely to have children who value education. Uneducated parents tend to have uneducated kids. Poor kids aren’t suddenly going to raise their academic ambitions if you remove all the middle and upper-class. Evidence suggests the opposite. Urban school districts have seen the exodus of the affluent for a generation now, and that hasn’t inspired higher achievement on the part of those who can’t afford private education.
__________________________________
I got Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” from the library. “Saturday Night’s for Fighting” is a good enough song, but I can’t imagine a bunch of tough guys heading out on the town saying “Yeah, crank that! Elton tells it like it is!” And, sadly, any bar fight that little Elton would start, could only end badly. In seconds, he’d have his ass handed to him in a highball glass with a slice of lime and a little umbrella, and that’s just if he were battling your average John Denver fan.
While on the music industry, Madonna is the richest woman musician. This came as absolutely no shock to anyone but maybe Ashlee Simpson thought she was in the running. Brittney’s recent meltdown reminds me that many noted geniuses have had mild to severe bouts of depression and mania in their twenties, such as Einstein, John Stewart Mill, Hayden, and I’ll throw myself in with these luminaries and say that I had a few days in my twenties when I wasn’t manically depressed per se, but maybe a little irritable. So, that makes me a genius as much as Brittney proved her brilliance merely because of a well-timed bout of insanity.
I don’t know of any natural force that could possibly explain how you lose your kids to a guy like Kevin Federline. And, I feel bad for the kids, of course. Having K-Fed as your role model isn’t the easy ticket into the Ivy League. Yeah, they’re pretty screwed.
_____________________________________
I heard an interesting speaker on statistics – yeah, you read that right. “Interesting” and “statistics” in the same sentence. He says that Kentucky officials have been fretting about the decreased number of younger workers in this state, and many have called it the “brain-drain”, because anyone educated leaves. Turns out that they’re not leaving. They haven’t been born in the first place. Most parents aren’t having a lot of kids, so the population of youngsters decreases. So it’s not that Eastern KY is losing future scholars, they’re just incapable of producing them.
This statistician had a lot of charts, graphs and projections and all that. I don’t know how he makes his 50 year estimates with any reliability. He’s essentially counting the offspring of offspring that have yet to be born.
One result of this demographic shift is that you will have to work longer. I’m already planning that I’ll have to work to 75. Of course, you can’t raise the retirement age 10 years all at once. I’d suggest that you scale it maybe .25 years every 2 years or something like that. If you’re 6 years from retiring, you’d have to work an extra 9 months. Not gonna kill ya. It’s an unpleasant thought to have to work longer, but you can’t make the argument that they couldn’t be prepared.
An area of concern for the future is that the wealthy families don’t have many kids, Blighted areas have population growth. An educated parent, black, white, Latino or Asian is likely to have children who value education. Uneducated parents tend to have uneducated kids. Poor kids aren’t suddenly going to raise their academic ambitions if you remove all the middle and upper-class. Evidence suggests the opposite. Urban school districts have seen the exodus of the affluent for a generation now, and that hasn’t inspired higher achievement on the part of those who can’t afford private education.
__________________________________
I got Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” from the library. “Saturday Night’s for Fighting” is a good enough song, but I can’t imagine a bunch of tough guys heading out on the town saying “Yeah, crank that! Elton tells it like it is!” And, sadly, any bar fight that little Elton would start, could only end badly. In seconds, he’d have his ass handed to him in a highball glass with a slice of lime and a little umbrella, and that’s just if he were battling your average John Denver fan.
While on the music industry, Madonna is the richest woman musician. This came as absolutely no shock to anyone but maybe Ashlee Simpson thought she was in the running. Brittney’s recent meltdown reminds me that many noted geniuses have had mild to severe bouts of depression and mania in their twenties, such as Einstein, John Stewart Mill, Hayden, and I’ll throw myself in with these luminaries and say that I had a few days in my twenties when I wasn’t manically depressed per se, but maybe a little irritable. So, that makes me a genius as much as Brittney proved her brilliance merely because of a well-timed bout of insanity.
I don’t know of any natural force that could possibly explain how you lose your kids to a guy like Kevin Federline. And, I feel bad for the kids, of course. Having K-Fed as your role model isn’t the easy ticket into the Ivy League. Yeah, they’re pretty screwed.
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