Palin told Mary Hart in an interview that she'd run for President "if there's no one else to do it."
Anyone want to be President? Anyone?..... Helloooo.... Who's gonna do this thing? Oh all right. I guess I'll do it. If I have to. Geez.
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There was a commercial for some texting service a few years ago. There were these guys texting at a business seminar. Some guy was lecturing about “thinking outside the box” and he had a diagram on the whiteboard. “This is the box. We need to think here – outside of this box.” Then he went through some dynamic charade about “pushing the envelope”. The guys are texting how banal it was and where do you want to go for lunch. The kicker at the end was when the guy made a triangle out of his fingers and talked about “changing the paradigm”, except he pronounced it phonetically as “para-dig-em”. I never wanted to text so badly in my whole life.
I’m not a real fan of IM or texting. I’ve subscribed to a brand new e-service that’s similar. It’s just like instant messaging, except that you don’t have to type, you just speak and the other person doesn’t have to read, they can actually hear your voice in real time and respond. It’s really quite neat. I have a hand held device so I don’t even have to be at a computer to use it. Do you have that yet? When you get your e-voice communicator, contact my e-voice communicator. Alexander Graham Bell is so cutting edge.
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After campaigning as the “firewall” against the Democratics, the Republicans are trying to re-establish the “permanent Republican majority.” Yeah, one party rule seemed to work so well for the former Soviet Union. Small government is working so great in Haiti that the Reps want to do the same thing here. Gun control is non-existent in Somalia. Mixing religion and politics made Taliban controlled Afghanistan such a world player that the Republicans couldn’t help but envy their success. There are 300 million people in America. Half of them are below average. We call them “Republicans”. Need I go on?
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I have to take continuing professional education. I thought the ethics book and test would be a quick hit-it-and-quit-it, but the book is 245 pages. I think that since my wife has to take ethics courses for her law license, and she reads like a rocket; she could read the book and take the test for me. It may be unethical, but I wouldn’t know since I didn’t read the book yet.
Hand me a cup of coffee, I’m turning into Wally from Dilbert.
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Senator Coburn of Oklahoma is a leader in the fight to overturn the health care reform. At one of his town halls last year some woman was in tears because her husband’s insurance wouldn’t pay for needed therapy. Coburn said that she could contact his office individually, and that her neighbors should help her out. And he got applause. Coburn said that solutions don’t come from the government. Apparently not. They come from special favors and begging from your neighbors.
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I’m flabbergasted that someone like Ann Coulter can have a career doing anything more complicated than to sit behind a cash register making rude comments to non-Anglos. Who really takes her analysis seriously? Schadenfreude defined: When Ann Coulter is 60 and is just a mean old witch with 12 face lifts, I’m going to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Showing posts with label Republicans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Republicans. Show all posts
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
Running and Republican rants
I have to regale you with how awesome I am. I did a test run around my neighborhood to see how I would fare in the upcoming 5K. I'm not rested enough to be in "race shape", nor have I really been practicing my speed as much as I should. But, I broke my record. A long time ago, I did my neighborhood loop in 21:12. I don't know exactly when, and it has made me think that perhaps this time was a more of a myth or a misrecollection than the truth. No matter, because now my record stands at 20:52. At the 5K mark, I was also ahead of my PR, set last August. So I'm awesome, no?
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A while ago, conservative columnist Cal Thomas compared the circuit court's overturning of the imfamous California Proposition 8 against gay marriage to Julius Ceasar's poer to give a thumbs up or down to gladiators at the "Coliseum". There is a Coliseum in modern Los Angeles, but in Rome, there is a "Collusseum". Julius Ceasar was also killed in 44 BC. The Collusseum was built in 70 AD. Why should Cal let facts get in the way of a hackneyed analogy?
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So Elana Kagan is now doing her job on the Supreme Court, and yet the entire country is not being overrun by hippie peaceniks, Communists or Islamic terrorists. She got confirmed despite the best efforts of the Republicans and their trash talk. Their angle was to take it as a given that her mentor Thorgood Marshall was a menace to America. That only works in those elite, exclusive Republican smoking chambers. To everyone else, Marshall was an American historical figure who died with a sterling reputation 17 years ago. For their next trick, Republicans should try tarnishing that Paul Revere a$$hole for waking up half the city one night.
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Speaking of noise, you know those guys with the huge woofers in their cars and booming bass that you can feel in your chest a mile and a half down the road? I always shut off my own music when they come because theirs is so much better. Yesterday I drove 20 minutes out of my way to keep up with this dude because I got hooked on the kickin' beat. Thank you, oh thank you Mr. Boom-boom, for sharing your sweet music with me and the world!
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A while ago, conservative columnist Cal Thomas compared the circuit court's overturning of the imfamous California Proposition 8 against gay marriage to Julius Ceasar's poer to give a thumbs up or down to gladiators at the "Coliseum". There is a Coliseum in modern Los Angeles, but in Rome, there is a "Collusseum". Julius Ceasar was also killed in 44 BC. The Collusseum was built in 70 AD. Why should Cal let facts get in the way of a hackneyed analogy?
******************************
So Elana Kagan is now doing her job on the Supreme Court, and yet the entire country is not being overrun by hippie peaceniks, Communists or Islamic terrorists. She got confirmed despite the best efforts of the Republicans and their trash talk. Their angle was to take it as a given that her mentor Thorgood Marshall was a menace to America. That only works in those elite, exclusive Republican smoking chambers. To everyone else, Marshall was an American historical figure who died with a sterling reputation 17 years ago. For their next trick, Republicans should try tarnishing that Paul Revere a$$hole for waking up half the city one night.
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Speaking of noise, you know those guys with the huge woofers in their cars and booming bass that you can feel in your chest a mile and a half down the road? I always shut off my own music when they come because theirs is so much better. Yesterday I drove 20 minutes out of my way to keep up with this dude because I got hooked on the kickin' beat. Thank you, oh thank you Mr. Boom-boom, for sharing your sweet music with me and the world!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Kudos and boos to Republicans - but mostly boos.
Kudos to Reps for rightly tasking one of their own. Michael Steele demeaned the war effort in Afghanistan clearly because his nemesis supports it. Congressional conservatives have been whacking him as hard as they would if Steele had been a Dem. True, most of them are looking for a reason to fire Steele. But, y'know, that's like,... politics.
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Rush Limbaugh's new wife is perfectly fine. Rush said of Al Gore that divorce effectively doubles your carbon footprint, so he's obviously getting married to halve his carbon output. Of course, leaving three ex-wives out there means that his footprint isn't really going to have that math, but he's a conservative where divorce, personal failing and pollution don't count.
I'm sure that she finds him a warm and caring sensitive individual and it has nothing to do with his money. I'm sure that he has finally found his lifelong companion and soul mate and had nothing to do with the fact that he's 59 and she's 33.
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Sorry that I have been off at blogging for so long as not to have had a lot to say about that entirely blog worthy oil spill.
At its height, Sarah Palin appeared on the O'Rielley (non) Factor. He said "You obviously disagree with how Obama handled the oil spill, what would you do?" After a deer-in-the-headlights moment or three: "Ask the Dutch. They ahve years of experience plugging dykes." Hilarious. Then she became adamant about someone not returning phone calls or something, though non-contact was a frequent complaint against her administration in Alaska.
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The deep water oil exploration ban for new rigs is getting a ton of flak from Louisiana. Gov. Bobby Jindal said that it is killing thousands of jobs in his state. How many rigs are affected? 33. How many deep water rigs exist and are not affected? Three thousand.
Then there's all this talk about how oil companies will shift those jobs overseas. No. The oil is still sitting there in the Gulf. If Shell decides to drill off the coast of Asia instead of in the Gulf, that Gulf oil is still there. Those jobs WILL be there after the moratorim.
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And the cause for the spill, though undetermined, seems to have sprung from a culture where cutting corners was permitted. There hadn't been a major blowout in 30 years, so there won't ever be one again! That's the same logic as "Home prices never go down, so every house is a great investment!" Worked spectacularly well back then, too.
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So who are all these idiots who say they're being forced to buy health insurance that they don't want? Are they the a$$holes who don't insure their cars, get into accidents, show up at the hospiatal and expect someone else to foot the bill?
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Rush Limbaugh's new wife is perfectly fine. Rush said of Al Gore that divorce effectively doubles your carbon footprint, so he's obviously getting married to halve his carbon output. Of course, leaving three ex-wives out there means that his footprint isn't really going to have that math, but he's a conservative where divorce, personal failing and pollution don't count.
I'm sure that she finds him a warm and caring sensitive individual and it has nothing to do with his money. I'm sure that he has finally found his lifelong companion and soul mate and had nothing to do with the fact that he's 59 and she's 33.
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Sorry that I have been off at blogging for so long as not to have had a lot to say about that entirely blog worthy oil spill.
At its height, Sarah Palin appeared on the O'Rielley (non) Factor. He said "You obviously disagree with how Obama handled the oil spill, what would you do?" After a deer-in-the-headlights moment or three: "Ask the Dutch. They ahve years of experience plugging dykes." Hilarious. Then she became adamant about someone not returning phone calls or something, though non-contact was a frequent complaint against her administration in Alaska.
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The deep water oil exploration ban for new rigs is getting a ton of flak from Louisiana. Gov. Bobby Jindal said that it is killing thousands of jobs in his state. How many rigs are affected? 33. How many deep water rigs exist and are not affected? Three thousand.
Then there's all this talk about how oil companies will shift those jobs overseas. No. The oil is still sitting there in the Gulf. If Shell decides to drill off the coast of Asia instead of in the Gulf, that Gulf oil is still there. Those jobs WILL be there after the moratorim.
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And the cause for the spill, though undetermined, seems to have sprung from a culture where cutting corners was permitted. There hadn't been a major blowout in 30 years, so there won't ever be one again! That's the same logic as "Home prices never go down, so every house is a great investment!" Worked spectacularly well back then, too.
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So who are all these idiots who say they're being forced to buy health insurance that they don't want? Are they the a$$holes who don't insure their cars, get into accidents, show up at the hospiatal and expect someone else to foot the bill?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I call BS on McConnell
Yeah, this is going to be another political diatribe.
Kagan, the Supreme Court nominee looks like she's in. Much to the chagrin of master game player Mitch McConnell. There have been hundreds of appellate court judgeships open - and to be fair, this situation has existed from some time in the Clinton era and probably a long time prior.
Anyway, two senators from opposite sides of the aisle appealed to their bretheren to call a vote on two in particular for their state. One prospective judge was unanimously approved by the Judicial Committee and one was approved 18-1. Mitch McConnell said that he was not going to allow a vote to confirm them because Obama used the recess appointment rule to put some non-judges to work in completely unrelated matters.
Reagan and both Bushes used recess appointments heavily and this practice never bothered McConnell. But he did seem very upset about 4 years ago when the Democrats were in the minority and were holding up several prospective justices that were not nearly as well received as these currently up. I believe the rallying cry was "Up or down vote! Up or down vote!" Shoe's turned the opposite table now, eh, Mr. McConnell?
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The pro-choice groups are upset because Obama promised not to allow federal funds to be used for abortions in the new program for high risk individuals that can't get insurance elsewhere. He's making good on that promise. But that doesn't give him the slightest headway with the anti-choice crowd. They hate Obama no matter what he does. When he caves in to their pressure, they win because the law ban abortions. Not content with that victory, they also say that the law actually permits abortions to get more contributions. The conservatives get away with blatantly false lies and Obama gets slammed from both sides.
It's amazing to me how much he gets beaten on no matter what he does. He delays sending troops to Afghanistan - and the Republicans are all over him. He sends troops, and they complain that the deficit is too high. Republicans complain about big government but then complain that Obama didn't do enough big government things to mitigate the oil spill. So he imposes a drilling moratorium. But then that's government interference again. I feel bad for his chances in 2012.
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I was thinking that if Palin does win the Rep nomination in 2 years, Obama has a good shot at a second term no matter how beaten he looks today.
I saw Palin's "Mama Grizzly" video with an industrial strength barf-bag at the ready. Since she's not officially running for anything, it's really akin to the self indulgent me-fest like Lebron James, except mercifully briefer.
Despite is shorter run time, she still manages to call herself a grizzly, a pink elephant and a pit bull. I gathered that it was some sort of bizarre Chimera-beast personna, but it's adamantly female. In her virtually content-free rant, she uses the grizzly as a metaphor because mama grizzlies "know when something is wrong". This apparently substitutes for meaningful policy discourse in the Palin household.
Mama grizzlies are also notorious for attacking innocent hikers that pose no threat. She also points out that mother grizzlies "rear up on their hind legs". But she's not a skilled enough hunter to know that you shoot a bear when it rears up, because then it's most vulnerable. She's also not literate enough to know that most Democrats have been walking on two legs for three million years. Nor does she get that the "pink elephant" is code for hallucinations experienced in delerium tremens resulting from severe alcohol withdrawal.
... and a female pit bull is still a bitch.
Kagan, the Supreme Court nominee looks like she's in. Much to the chagrin of master game player Mitch McConnell. There have been hundreds of appellate court judgeships open - and to be fair, this situation has existed from some time in the Clinton era and probably a long time prior.
Anyway, two senators from opposite sides of the aisle appealed to their bretheren to call a vote on two in particular for their state. One prospective judge was unanimously approved by the Judicial Committee and one was approved 18-1. Mitch McConnell said that he was not going to allow a vote to confirm them because Obama used the recess appointment rule to put some non-judges to work in completely unrelated matters.
Reagan and both Bushes used recess appointments heavily and this practice never bothered McConnell. But he did seem very upset about 4 years ago when the Democrats were in the minority and were holding up several prospective justices that were not nearly as well received as these currently up. I believe the rallying cry was "Up or down vote! Up or down vote!" Shoe's turned the opposite table now, eh, Mr. McConnell?
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The pro-choice groups are upset because Obama promised not to allow federal funds to be used for abortions in the new program for high risk individuals that can't get insurance elsewhere. He's making good on that promise. But that doesn't give him the slightest headway with the anti-choice crowd. They hate Obama no matter what he does. When he caves in to their pressure, they win because the law ban abortions. Not content with that victory, they also say that the law actually permits abortions to get more contributions. The conservatives get away with blatantly false lies and Obama gets slammed from both sides.
It's amazing to me how much he gets beaten on no matter what he does. He delays sending troops to Afghanistan - and the Republicans are all over him. He sends troops, and they complain that the deficit is too high. Republicans complain about big government but then complain that Obama didn't do enough big government things to mitigate the oil spill. So he imposes a drilling moratorium. But then that's government interference again. I feel bad for his chances in 2012.
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I was thinking that if Palin does win the Rep nomination in 2 years, Obama has a good shot at a second term no matter how beaten he looks today.
I saw Palin's "Mama Grizzly" video with an industrial strength barf-bag at the ready. Since she's not officially running for anything, it's really akin to the self indulgent me-fest like Lebron James, except mercifully briefer.
Despite is shorter run time, she still manages to call herself a grizzly, a pink elephant and a pit bull. I gathered that it was some sort of bizarre Chimera-beast personna, but it's adamantly female. In her virtually content-free rant, she uses the grizzly as a metaphor because mama grizzlies "know when something is wrong". This apparently substitutes for meaningful policy discourse in the Palin household.
Mama grizzlies are also notorious for attacking innocent hikers that pose no threat. She also points out that mother grizzlies "rear up on their hind legs". But she's not a skilled enough hunter to know that you shoot a bear when it rears up, because then it's most vulnerable. She's also not literate enough to know that most Democrats have been walking on two legs for three million years. Nor does she get that the "pink elephant" is code for hallucinations experienced in delerium tremens resulting from severe alcohol withdrawal.
... and a female pit bull is still a bitch.
Friday, June 25, 2010
A hodge podge of complaints
So I watched a Youtube video called “Governor Beshear Speech” (he’s Gov of KY). It was the Governor speaking at the State of the State address, but it had all the vocals erased and a lullaby soundtrack placed over it. What? Here’s the thing: The senate president sits behind the governor. Republican David Williams (partisan hack) was dead asleep. Zonked. Out cold. Head down on desk. In contrast, the Governor appeared pretty sharp. The video was five minutes, but it transitioned several times so the actual nap could have been much longer. Nighty night, Dave! It was hysterical.
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Oh yeah, and on local elections – I was at a festival, and Mitch McConnell was in the parade. His aides were putting stickers on every living carbon based life form that couldn’t stay farther than arm’s reach. I was repeatedly asked “Do you want a McDonald’s sticker?” McDonald’s? How many people took the sticker and then said “Gee, I thought I was supporting Mayor McCheese!”
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I ran 5444 miles during 2008 and 2009. At one point in 09, I had over 3000 miles over 365 days. I don’t have any comment to accompany these stats, I’m just bragging. Aren’t I just so totally, cosmically, friggin’ awesome?
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I have read several times about this petition by “31,072 scientists” that believe that global warming is a hoax. There aren’t that may environmental scientists in the world. A right wing tactic is to refute a solid issue by the most spurious of claims, and then clamor for equal attention as the problem itself gets. They did it with the link between smoking and cancer. Is there a definitive, 100% proven causal link? No. In the conservative mind, that means there is no link. But science isn’t like that. Newton identified the laws of gravity and motion, but could not possibly have provided scientific study on what gravity is or how it acts on two bodies separated by millions of miles. The Republican view? There is no gravity. The media is liberally pro-gravity biased to support the biggest hoax of the 17th Century.
The same conservatives that say that the Earth is not warming point out that there are signs that Mars and Jupiter are also warming. It’s one or the other, folks. The Earth is warming along with Mars and Jupiter, or the Earth is not warming.
Conservatives also cite that 40 years ago, scientists were worried about global cooling. Since they’ve changed their minds, all statements by all scientists are worthless. Except the 31,072 that agree with them.
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I read that Philadelphia is making plans for a huge Darwin exhibit. But I have a book that says the world was created in 7 days, and as long as I cite my source, I am right and you are wrong. All those different varieties of the hominid genus are really all just misshapen sinners that God killed off in the great flood. Why do you guys hate America so much?
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All these people who bought SUVs are just stupid. Gas hasn’t been “cheap” since 2000. All these nuts were talking about Bush wanted to get into Iraq for cheap oil. No, you dolts, oil men want expensive oil. But anyway, all the SUV owners are acting like they are suddenly taken by surprise, and it must be somebody else’s fault.
Reps: We don’t want to bail out the home owners that made bad decisions.
Reps, take #2: Ack! Do you know what it costs to fill the tank on my Escalade? Bail me out! Bail me out!
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I recall about 12 years ago when gas was cheap and the Big Three were awash in healthy profits. There was a proposal in congress to raise the mileage requirements. Instead of spending money on meeting that goal, they spent a ton of money on lobbyists to fight it. It died. Detroit won. There was much celebration. They sacrificed an electric car to the God of Inaction.
Fast forward to today, and what do you have? Inferior, overpriced gas guzzlers. If they had reacted back then when they had the ability, they wouldn’t be fighting for air right now when things are tough.
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Oh yeah, and on local elections – I was at a festival, and Mitch McConnell was in the parade. His aides were putting stickers on every living carbon based life form that couldn’t stay farther than arm’s reach. I was repeatedly asked “Do you want a McDonald’s sticker?” McDonald’s? How many people took the sticker and then said “Gee, I thought I was supporting Mayor McCheese!”
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I ran 5444 miles during 2008 and 2009. At one point in 09, I had over 3000 miles over 365 days. I don’t have any comment to accompany these stats, I’m just bragging. Aren’t I just so totally, cosmically, friggin’ awesome?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have read several times about this petition by “31,072 scientists” that believe that global warming is a hoax. There aren’t that may environmental scientists in the world. A right wing tactic is to refute a solid issue by the most spurious of claims, and then clamor for equal attention as the problem itself gets. They did it with the link between smoking and cancer. Is there a definitive, 100% proven causal link? No. In the conservative mind, that means there is no link. But science isn’t like that. Newton identified the laws of gravity and motion, but could not possibly have provided scientific study on what gravity is or how it acts on two bodies separated by millions of miles. The Republican view? There is no gravity. The media is liberally pro-gravity biased to support the biggest hoax of the 17th Century.
The same conservatives that say that the Earth is not warming point out that there are signs that Mars and Jupiter are also warming. It’s one or the other, folks. The Earth is warming along with Mars and Jupiter, or the Earth is not warming.
Conservatives also cite that 40 years ago, scientists were worried about global cooling. Since they’ve changed their minds, all statements by all scientists are worthless. Except the 31,072 that agree with them.
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I read that Philadelphia is making plans for a huge Darwin exhibit. But I have a book that says the world was created in 7 days, and as long as I cite my source, I am right and you are wrong. All those different varieties of the hominid genus are really all just misshapen sinners that God killed off in the great flood. Why do you guys hate America so much?
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All these people who bought SUVs are just stupid. Gas hasn’t been “cheap” since 2000. All these nuts were talking about Bush wanted to get into Iraq for cheap oil. No, you dolts, oil men want expensive oil. But anyway, all the SUV owners are acting like they are suddenly taken by surprise, and it must be somebody else’s fault.
Reps: We don’t want to bail out the home owners that made bad decisions.
Reps, take #2: Ack! Do you know what it costs to fill the tank on my Escalade? Bail me out! Bail me out!
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I recall about 12 years ago when gas was cheap and the Big Three were awash in healthy profits. There was a proposal in congress to raise the mileage requirements. Instead of spending money on meeting that goal, they spent a ton of money on lobbyists to fight it. It died. Detroit won. There was much celebration. They sacrificed an electric car to the God of Inaction.
Fast forward to today, and what do you have? Inferior, overpriced gas guzzlers. If they had reacted back then when they had the ability, they wouldn’t be fighting for air right now when things are tough.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Lots and lots of Republican crapola
Conservatives are trying to stop abortions by excluding them from any government sponsored plan. Cosmetic surgery has long since been excluded from insurance plans but that industry outstripped the rest of the medical industry in terms of availability and cost. I’d say that this is yet another area that the Reps are leading to a long term counterproductive unintended consequence.
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If you think that Obama at times is opaque; and you don’t know what he’s thinking, you should ask Rush Limbaugh. Rush The All Knowing can peer into the heart and mind of any Democrat and immediately discern his or her inner dialogue.
Obama: While campaigning in Florida, I tasted some of the best freshly squeezed orange juice that I’ve ever had.
Rush: See? He hates California!
Obama: I said “some of the best”.
Rush: He’s waffling!
Obama: Can’t I say that I like a glass of orange juice?
Rush: What he means, folks, is that he likes orange juice more than he loves this country. He hates America and himself! I hope they both fail.
See, the man clearly has claravoyant prowess beyond mortal human beings!
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I love the Reps solution to the financial crisis: Eliminate the capital gains tax. Do they not understand that failing banks have no capital gains?
You should also call in the Republicans when there is a gay couple who wants to live together and fornicate. They won’t stop the gay people from living together and fornicating, but they’ll make you feel all warm and virtuous inside by reminding you that you’re going to heaven and those gay people aren’t.
So would the Republicans cheer if a pregnant 17 year old didn’t get an abortion, but gave the baby to a gay couple? Is abortion worse than abomination?
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Arguably, the $700 billion bailout is de facto socialism and has been brought to America while Obama was still only a senator, and it wasn’t his plan, or even the plan of his party.
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New etiquette of the modern age: I got an email from someone with a smiley face at the bottom. Later, she wrote back and apologized. She said that she was upset when she wrote the letter. But – but – there was the smiley… She lied to me in emoticon!
The strange thing is that I just got another email from her that thanked me for help with something else – but it had a frowny face. I know I won’t get sleep tonight while thinking this one through.
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I saw this YouTube video innocuously titled “Governor Beshear Speech”. It was the Governor’s State of the State address, but it had all the vocals erased and a lullaby soundtrack placed over it. What the hell? Then I got it. Like the National State of the Union, the Senate leader sits behind the Governor. Republican Senate President David Williams was dead asleep. Zonked. Out cold. Head down on desk. The Governor appeared pretty sharp and animated, for a nice contrast. Nighty night, Dave, you worthless, partisan hack!
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I was at a festival, and KY senator Mitch McConnell was in the parade. Oh, joy. His aides were pushing McConnell stickers on every living carbon based life form within eyesight. I was repeatedly asked “Do you want a McDonald’s sticker?” But when I looked, it said “McConnell”. So was this a case of having complete idiots on your staff, or was it another Republican lie? How many people took the sticker and then said “I thought I was supporting Mayor McCheese!”
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Congress used to be all about passing bills. Now it’s all posturing. It doesn’t help when the Reps vote in a leader like McConnell, a manipulative game player. The Dems elected Pelosi, who throws cheap shots every time she speaks. Bickering, partisan, sniping cynicism. The point is that people have to stop electing hacks and power brokers. It’s something the public says that they want, but they don’t follow through. Congress has something like a 10-15% approval rating because they play these types of games.
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22 million emails from the Bush administration have suddenly reappeared. How odd. The former administration officials are saying that they were always available. Those that were actually seeking those emails say otherwise. I’m on the information seekers’ side, because the Bushies stated a few years ago that there was some sort of techno-accident that somehow “erased” all this information but it was in no way done intentionally. Of course not. No. Not the Bushies.
I know it’s just 1s and 0s and it can be stored on a drive the size of my hand, but still, 22 million emails? How do you lose that many? How do you deny it later?
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I find the recent moral indignation of the right wing very troubling. They’re jubilant over the fact that the United States is going to hell because they want to take control of the government. Yeah, and the last time that happened, it was such a rousing success.
The conservatives are at the peak of unbridled hypocrisy. They’re using all the same tactics that they complained that the liberals used only six years ago. They aren’t defending the President simply because he’s the President. They’re cheering bad news because they want failure. They don’t have a coherent strategy of what to do if they were elected.
Another variation on the hypocrisy is that they want to send troops to Iran, keep them in Iraq and add even more to Afghanistan. But then they want to abolish taxes to pay for it. And balance the budget. They want to increase jobs, but they deride the bailout which kept jobs that depend on auto manufacturing, finance, education and other government work. They’re blathering about the 10th Amendment and state’s rights, but they have a big problem every time a state decides to allow gay marriage or enact gun control laws. They’re all celebrating some conservative meeting at George Washington’s home, to represent that they’re returning to the roots of American heritage, but then claim that this is the modern, post-9/11 world and we need more military tribunals.
Yes, very ironic to think that if the original Tea Party participants in 1773 were caught, they would have faced a military tribunal instead of a civilian one, and they probably would have been hanged as a result.
If Cheney thought that more troops were warranted in Afghanistan, maybe he could have said so a year sooner, or eight years sooner, whatever.
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Obama is right in that the partisan BS is not helpful. He’s at least trying to rise above it. But instead of simply pointing out the flaws in the health care bill, someone like Mitt Romney bangs on the lectern and accuses Obama of trying to destroy American principles.
There’s nothing in the Constitution barring socialism. There are provisions that bar illegal search and seizure that Bush pretty much ignored. There are military regulations that ban torture. The Geneva Convention is applicable as well. Although it is unwritten, I don’t expect that the American people would consider dishonesty and gross incompetence to be in our core principles, either.
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If you think that Obama at times is opaque; and you don’t know what he’s thinking, you should ask Rush Limbaugh. Rush The All Knowing can peer into the heart and mind of any Democrat and immediately discern his or her inner dialogue.
Obama: While campaigning in Florida, I tasted some of the best freshly squeezed orange juice that I’ve ever had.
Rush: See? He hates California!
Obama: I said “some of the best”.
Rush: He’s waffling!
Obama: Can’t I say that I like a glass of orange juice?
Rush: What he means, folks, is that he likes orange juice more than he loves this country. He hates America and himself! I hope they both fail.
See, the man clearly has claravoyant prowess beyond mortal human beings!
+++++++++++++++
I love the Reps solution to the financial crisis: Eliminate the capital gains tax. Do they not understand that failing banks have no capital gains?
You should also call in the Republicans when there is a gay couple who wants to live together and fornicate. They won’t stop the gay people from living together and fornicating, but they’ll make you feel all warm and virtuous inside by reminding you that you’re going to heaven and those gay people aren’t.
So would the Republicans cheer if a pregnant 17 year old didn’t get an abortion, but gave the baby to a gay couple? Is abortion worse than abomination?
++++++++++++
Arguably, the $700 billion bailout is de facto socialism and has been brought to America while Obama was still only a senator, and it wasn’t his plan, or even the plan of his party.
++++++++++++++++++
New etiquette of the modern age: I got an email from someone with a smiley face at the bottom. Later, she wrote back and apologized. She said that she was upset when she wrote the letter. But – but – there was the smiley… She lied to me in emoticon!
The strange thing is that I just got another email from her that thanked me for help with something else – but it had a frowny face. I know I won’t get sleep tonight while thinking this one through.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I saw this YouTube video innocuously titled “Governor Beshear Speech”. It was the Governor’s State of the State address, but it had all the vocals erased and a lullaby soundtrack placed over it. What the hell? Then I got it. Like the National State of the Union, the Senate leader sits behind the Governor. Republican Senate President David Williams was dead asleep. Zonked. Out cold. Head down on desk. The Governor appeared pretty sharp and animated, for a nice contrast. Nighty night, Dave, you worthless, partisan hack!
+++++++++++++++++
I was at a festival, and KY senator Mitch McConnell was in the parade. Oh, joy. His aides were pushing McConnell stickers on every living carbon based life form within eyesight. I was repeatedly asked “Do you want a McDonald’s sticker?” But when I looked, it said “McConnell”. So was this a case of having complete idiots on your staff, or was it another Republican lie? How many people took the sticker and then said “I thought I was supporting Mayor McCheese!”
+++++++++++++++++++++
Congress used to be all about passing bills. Now it’s all posturing. It doesn’t help when the Reps vote in a leader like McConnell, a manipulative game player. The Dems elected Pelosi, who throws cheap shots every time she speaks. Bickering, partisan, sniping cynicism. The point is that people have to stop electing hacks and power brokers. It’s something the public says that they want, but they don’t follow through. Congress has something like a 10-15% approval rating because they play these types of games.
+++++++++++++++++++++
22 million emails from the Bush administration have suddenly reappeared. How odd. The former administration officials are saying that they were always available. Those that were actually seeking those emails say otherwise. I’m on the information seekers’ side, because the Bushies stated a few years ago that there was some sort of techno-accident that somehow “erased” all this information but it was in no way done intentionally. Of course not. No. Not the Bushies.
I know it’s just 1s and 0s and it can be stored on a drive the size of my hand, but still, 22 million emails? How do you lose that many? How do you deny it later?
+++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I find the recent moral indignation of the right wing very troubling. They’re jubilant over the fact that the United States is going to hell because they want to take control of the government. Yeah, and the last time that happened, it was such a rousing success.
The conservatives are at the peak of unbridled hypocrisy. They’re using all the same tactics that they complained that the liberals used only six years ago. They aren’t defending the President simply because he’s the President. They’re cheering bad news because they want failure. They don’t have a coherent strategy of what to do if they were elected.
Another variation on the hypocrisy is that they want to send troops to Iran, keep them in Iraq and add even more to Afghanistan. But then they want to abolish taxes to pay for it. And balance the budget. They want to increase jobs, but they deride the bailout which kept jobs that depend on auto manufacturing, finance, education and other government work. They’re blathering about the 10th Amendment and state’s rights, but they have a big problem every time a state decides to allow gay marriage or enact gun control laws. They’re all celebrating some conservative meeting at George Washington’s home, to represent that they’re returning to the roots of American heritage, but then claim that this is the modern, post-9/11 world and we need more military tribunals.
Yes, very ironic to think that if the original Tea Party participants in 1773 were caught, they would have faced a military tribunal instead of a civilian one, and they probably would have been hanged as a result.
If Cheney thought that more troops were warranted in Afghanistan, maybe he could have said so a year sooner, or eight years sooner, whatever.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Obama is right in that the partisan BS is not helpful. He’s at least trying to rise above it. But instead of simply pointing out the flaws in the health care bill, someone like Mitt Romney bangs on the lectern and accuses Obama of trying to destroy American principles.
There’s nothing in the Constitution barring socialism. There are provisions that bar illegal search and seizure that Bush pretty much ignored. There are military regulations that ban torture. The Geneva Convention is applicable as well. Although it is unwritten, I don’t expect that the American people would consider dishonesty and gross incompetence to be in our core principles, either.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
For the Gulf Coast, Elton John will yet again remake Candle in the Wind.
Captain America is now the enemy of the Tea Party. There was a recent comic where the star-spangled hero is trying to break up a white supremacist group. The organization is also involved in anti-tax demonstrations and a cartoon protester held a sign “Tea bag the libs before they tea bag you!” which was an actual Tea Party sign. So the Tea Party is outraged (again). Now they have to explain why they aren’t racist because they support threatening ALL liberals equally, not just the liberals of color.
There was a leftie Canadian alt-rock band called the Tea Party, too. Irony is not dead. Until it gets ‘tea bagged’ – whatever that is.
The Tea Party doesn’t even have a coherent platform aside from “I don’t wanna pay taxes.” I’m just waiting for the Tea Party to join forces with the crowd that used to bust in to auto repair shops and proclaim that “I’m NOT going to pay a lot for this muffler!” on those old Midas commercials. Then they’d be unstoppable. Even George Foreman could make an appearance.
++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a woman who racked up $555,000 in student debt. She’s being used as a poster child for those that argue that the cost of education is too high. While I agree that education cost has risen too fast, she spent over 100K per year? Sounds like profligate spending is not solely the providence of government and educational institutions.
++++++++++++++++++++
Judas Priest put out a live CD in 08. They still sound good. At least Rob Halford isn’t still wearing all that tight leather. His leather chaps are much more loose, for that comfortable “relaxed fit” that’s all the rage with the headbanging seniors these days. That and metal studded shuffleboard cue sticks.
+++++++++++++++++
I’ve been reading that barefoot running is supposed to be better for you. They cite the fact that humans evolved without shoes. But the African savannah wasn’t in the single digits Fahrenheit. Alongside the barefoot running article was a company trying to sell you shoes that try to mimic going barefoot. So your product is not quite as good as nothing?
++++++++++++++++++++
The majority of the population is overweight by government standards. Obviously, government is the problem. They are out-of-touch with the average American. And that skinny Obama is secretly getting rid of all the lard asses by means of death panels!
++++++++++++++++
I personally like Obama, but like I said during the campaign, he’s too liberal to be my ideal president. 1.5 Trillion dollars in red ink? Couldn’t he shave the deficit down to a nice, even $1,000,000,000,000.00 at least?
I like what he said to the Republicans about reaching out and cooperating. I’m sure as soon as he walked out of the room, the Reps made faces and stuck out their tongues.
The Reps were complaining about a “Democratic attack machine”. That’s a good one. The Dems are way too dysfunctional and unorganized to ever be called a “machine”. Sounds like whining to me. “They use our own words against us! How can we run a smear campaign against our accuser if the accuser is us? Waaaah!”
It’s like Rand Paul. He wins the Rep primary for senate easily, then immediately goes out and says all kinds of crazy stuff about how every law needs to strictly adhere to the Constitution, except the 14th Amendment, because that one is unconstitutional.
But the non-machine-Republicans have managed to blanket the entire state of Kentucky with their blue and white “Rand Paul for senate” posters.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I’ve noticed over the past few decades that office dress codes have generally become more casual. In contrast, public schools, where appearance doesn’t matter, dress codes have become far more restrictive. I’m sure this is done with the intent to give the kids incentive to graduate. “One day I’m going to work in a box – but I’ll get to wear jeans!”
++++++++++++++++++++
Some Tea party idiot made news by dressing like Darth Vader when Obama came to his town. When asked about it, the Tea party guy said “It means ‘May the Force be with… power to the people… or something’.” Now there’s a guy who takes a stand.
With all the Republican hypocrisy, something is beginning to smell fishy around here. Wait, it’s just the lady in the cube next door with her salmon. Never mind. Sarah Palin is still an idiot, though.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
New: Dove For Men. No.
++++++++++++++++++++++
My kids got Disney paper dolls. They can dress Cinderella in Sleeping Beauty’s dress if they want. Without any dress, the princesses are in their underwear. Snow White is surprisingly hot. Should I be worried about myself?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everyone thinks I’m a fanatic about nutrition. When I’m in training, I don’t drink alcohol or eat sweets. People have their own definition of “crazy”. Some think that getting up at 4am and running 8 miles in the snow is crazy, but I…… when I phrase it like that, it does sound kind of nuts.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I read that too much protein can also slow you down. I was surprised. I grew up on the protein = good mentality because when you are body building that’s what you build with. The Ethiopian diet is very lean and the meat is sparse.
Yes, that’s right, I said that another country is superior to the United States in some way and that we should emulate them. May D!ck Cheney have mercy upon my soul.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Jay-Z said that “We Are the World” shouldn’t have been remade. Considering how lousy I thought it was in ’85, I’d agree. Jay-Z is on the opposite side of the spectrum, he seems to think that it was so great that it could never be duplicated. Maybe Elton John can come to the rescue with the 37th remake of “Candle in the Wind”.
++++++++++++++++++++
I sometimes toy with the idea that I should go back to school and get a degree in something in demand, like teaching, computers or nursing. An ad caught my eye. Apparently, I can get an online nursing degree in as little as 3 months. That’s scary. There are people in hospitals trusting their health to people from this program? I train for marathons longer than that.
+++++++++++++++++++++
The joys of having two darling daughters: Watching the Tinkerbell movie. She doesn’t display the same vindictive spitefulness that she does in Peter Pan. That being said, she’s still not likeable. Instead of being impetuous and jealous, she’s conniving and conceited. Her only virtue is that she’s less arrogant than the prissy snot who serves as the antagonist of the movie. Even at 78 minutes, the plot is still stretched.
She saves the day essentially by mechanization of the fairy tasks. I suspect her own inventions put her out of work. She became jaded, bitter, and loathed to change. That’s why she couldn’t stand the Darling kids coming to Neverland. Seems a bit dark for a Disney fairy, but there it is.
++++++++++++++++
When it snowed, some global warming denier in the Senate had his grand kids build an igloo on Capitol Hill and hung a sign saying “Al Gore’s New Home”. Ha ha. How does it look for the cameras now that it melted?
There was a leftie Canadian alt-rock band called the Tea Party, too. Irony is not dead. Until it gets ‘tea bagged’ – whatever that is.
The Tea Party doesn’t even have a coherent platform aside from “I don’t wanna pay taxes.” I’m just waiting for the Tea Party to join forces with the crowd that used to bust in to auto repair shops and proclaim that “I’m NOT going to pay a lot for this muffler!” on those old Midas commercials. Then they’d be unstoppable. Even George Foreman could make an appearance.
++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a woman who racked up $555,000 in student debt. She’s being used as a poster child for those that argue that the cost of education is too high. While I agree that education cost has risen too fast, she spent over 100K per year? Sounds like profligate spending is not solely the providence of government and educational institutions.
++++++++++++++++++++
Judas Priest put out a live CD in 08. They still sound good. At least Rob Halford isn’t still wearing all that tight leather. His leather chaps are much more loose, for that comfortable “relaxed fit” that’s all the rage with the headbanging seniors these days. That and metal studded shuffleboard cue sticks.
+++++++++++++++++
I’ve been reading that barefoot running is supposed to be better for you. They cite the fact that humans evolved without shoes. But the African savannah wasn’t in the single digits Fahrenheit. Alongside the barefoot running article was a company trying to sell you shoes that try to mimic going barefoot. So your product is not quite as good as nothing?
++++++++++++++++++++
The majority of the population is overweight by government standards. Obviously, government is the problem. They are out-of-touch with the average American. And that skinny Obama is secretly getting rid of all the lard asses by means of death panels!
++++++++++++++++
I personally like Obama, but like I said during the campaign, he’s too liberal to be my ideal president. 1.5 Trillion dollars in red ink? Couldn’t he shave the deficit down to a nice, even $1,000,000,000,000.00 at least?
I like what he said to the Republicans about reaching out and cooperating. I’m sure as soon as he walked out of the room, the Reps made faces and stuck out their tongues.
The Reps were complaining about a “Democratic attack machine”. That’s a good one. The Dems are way too dysfunctional and unorganized to ever be called a “machine”. Sounds like whining to me. “They use our own words against us! How can we run a smear campaign against our accuser if the accuser is us? Waaaah!”
It’s like Rand Paul. He wins the Rep primary for senate easily, then immediately goes out and says all kinds of crazy stuff about how every law needs to strictly adhere to the Constitution, except the 14th Amendment, because that one is unconstitutional.
But the non-machine-Republicans have managed to blanket the entire state of Kentucky with their blue and white “Rand Paul for senate” posters.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I’ve noticed over the past few decades that office dress codes have generally become more casual. In contrast, public schools, where appearance doesn’t matter, dress codes have become far more restrictive. I’m sure this is done with the intent to give the kids incentive to graduate. “One day I’m going to work in a box – but I’ll get to wear jeans!”
++++++++++++++++++++
Some Tea party idiot made news by dressing like Darth Vader when Obama came to his town. When asked about it, the Tea party guy said “It means ‘May the Force be with… power to the people… or something’.” Now there’s a guy who takes a stand.
With all the Republican hypocrisy, something is beginning to smell fishy around here. Wait, it’s just the lady in the cube next door with her salmon. Never mind. Sarah Palin is still an idiot, though.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
New: Dove For Men. No.
++++++++++++++++++++++
My kids got Disney paper dolls. They can dress Cinderella in Sleeping Beauty’s dress if they want. Without any dress, the princesses are in their underwear. Snow White is surprisingly hot. Should I be worried about myself?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everyone thinks I’m a fanatic about nutrition. When I’m in training, I don’t drink alcohol or eat sweets. People have their own definition of “crazy”. Some think that getting up at 4am and running 8 miles in the snow is crazy, but I…… when I phrase it like that, it does sound kind of nuts.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I read that too much protein can also slow you down. I was surprised. I grew up on the protein = good mentality because when you are body building that’s what you build with. The Ethiopian diet is very lean and the meat is sparse.
Yes, that’s right, I said that another country is superior to the United States in some way and that we should emulate them. May D!ck Cheney have mercy upon my soul.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Jay-Z said that “We Are the World” shouldn’t have been remade. Considering how lousy I thought it was in ’85, I’d agree. Jay-Z is on the opposite side of the spectrum, he seems to think that it was so great that it could never be duplicated. Maybe Elton John can come to the rescue with the 37th remake of “Candle in the Wind”.
++++++++++++++++++++
I sometimes toy with the idea that I should go back to school and get a degree in something in demand, like teaching, computers or nursing. An ad caught my eye. Apparently, I can get an online nursing degree in as little as 3 months. That’s scary. There are people in hospitals trusting their health to people from this program? I train for marathons longer than that.
+++++++++++++++++++++
The joys of having two darling daughters: Watching the Tinkerbell movie. She doesn’t display the same vindictive spitefulness that she does in Peter Pan. That being said, she’s still not likeable. Instead of being impetuous and jealous, she’s conniving and conceited. Her only virtue is that she’s less arrogant than the prissy snot who serves as the antagonist of the movie. Even at 78 minutes, the plot is still stretched.
She saves the day essentially by mechanization of the fairy tasks. I suspect her own inventions put her out of work. She became jaded, bitter, and loathed to change. That’s why she couldn’t stand the Darling kids coming to Neverland. Seems a bit dark for a Disney fairy, but there it is.
++++++++++++++++
When it snowed, some global warming denier in the Senate had his grand kids build an igloo on Capitol Hill and hung a sign saying “Al Gore’s New Home”. Ha ha. How does it look for the cameras now that it melted?
On being "the"
There is no group called THE Bee Gees. The name of the band was simply “Bee Gees”. As in their "best of" CD is called "The Best of Bee Gees", and not "the Bee Gees".
++++++++++++++++++++++
I was listening to Pat Benatar’s Greatest Hits. Her first few albums were great. Then she decided that she got too many negative comments about her wardrobe and not enough good ones about her music. I’m in favor of tight pants, but I’m also the first to admit that she looked trashy. Ok, not the first, but I’m in that group somewhere. I didn’t care for her “new direction” in her music. She should have ditched her pants and kept on rockin.
You uh, know what I mean, right?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m also listening to Chuck Berry. He has a preoccupation with girls who are or look like they are seventeen. I know it is a key demographic and it works rhythmically, but it is still really creepy.
++++++++++++++++++
I once joked that so many former Bush aides were going public to repudiate everything that the Bush White House once stood for that the only one left would be George W. himself. I was close on this one.
Former First Lady Laura Bush said that she’s pro-choice and for gay marriage. One of the Bush twins, Barbara, voiced support for the health care bill – on Fox News, no less.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for those that love to ascribe theological implications to random weather phenomena, a 60 ft statue of Jesus got struck by lightning and burned to the ground.
I had the idea that they built it with flammable material and no lightning rod, and it was an accident waiting to happen. I’m sure someone will blame Obama.
God is also the guy who put oil wealth under the feet of the least stable people on the planet. Nigeria, the middle east, Venezuela, and arguably Texas. Now it’s also discovered that Afghanistan has enormous untapped riches in minerals. Why can’t there be treasure in normal places like Massachusetts or Wisconsin?
I filled out my time sheet a day early. In case I get struck by lightning at lunch time, I’ll still get paid for the whole day.
++++++++++
Vampire overload! Too many movies/books/shows about the ever-dapper and attractive undead! I’d probably watch a show where they portrayed vampires from an angle that no one has ever thought of before, like vegan surfers. They’d still have all the random angst that we’ve come to expect from the genre, but they’ll express it in puns like “This sucks” and “That bites.” Hilarity ensues when the humans accidentally catch the vampires on taco night. “Oh my GOD! Look at the blood dripping from his mouth!” “Chill, bro, it’s just organic salsa. Don’t go bat-sh!t.”
+++++++++++++++++
The Republicans are simultaneously arguing that Obama wants to take over the world energy industry and that he’s not doing enough about the oil in the Gulf of Mexico. Not surprising, but I also can’t imagine what a Republican in the Oval Office would be doing.
Palin: I had a meeting with the BP executives yesterday, and I MADE THEM PAY (for lunch). You betcha.
McCain: We even ordered the Gulf Coast Shimp. Not cheap!
Palin: I had the red meat special.
McCain: Does shrimp usually come with a thick layer of tar?
Palin: Just think of it as Real American BBQ sauce, John! (wink, wink!)
++++++++++++++++++++++
This guy wrote a book on how the internet is making us stupid. Yes, this blog should be shown as supportive evidence.
His point is that we erode our ability to pay attention to anything on or off line when we are constantly checking email, IMs, texts and the like. Yet, your average teen can play Halo for 15 hours straight.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I had my temperature taken before I gave blood. I was chewing wintergreen flavored gum, which is supposed to give you cool, fresh breath. My temp was 98.4! Objective, verifiable proof that it works! Of course, I still have a hard time reconciling that fraction of a degree with a commercial where a woman chews the gum and freezes an entire landscape with her icy huffing and puffing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Rush Limbaugh got married for the 4th time. I’m sure that she cares about him as a sensitive soul mate, and not at all for his fortune. I’m also sure that he respects her intelligence and not for the fact that she’s a trim blonde who is 26 years younger than him. She said that the age difference was insignificant because she could never relate to people her own age. That doesn’t necessarily mean she can relate to older men, but logic and deductive reasoning are probably just going to be taboo subjects in this relationship.
++++++++++++++++
I may need glasses soon. Instead of saying that I can’t focus on the small print, I prefer to say “far sighted”. I keep my eye on the horizon. I see the big picture clearly. I leave it to the piddling conservatives to suffer from myopia. Nay! I focus on the long term victory, not the short term goals.
Anyway, with no offense to people who wear glasses, they’re just not “me”. I’d look like a dork. If I get them, I’d have to redo my whole image to accompany them. I’ll get some artsy frames and wear black turtle necks. I’d need an artsy moniker to go along, like “The Hogen”. To get it to catch on, I’ll also start referring to myself in the third person to complete that Soho-faux-artsy-douche-bag style that The Hogen will soon be adopting.
If anything, The Hogen will be something Bee Gees are not.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I was listening to Pat Benatar’s Greatest Hits. Her first few albums were great. Then she decided that she got too many negative comments about her wardrobe and not enough good ones about her music. I’m in favor of tight pants, but I’m also the first to admit that she looked trashy. Ok, not the first, but I’m in that group somewhere. I didn’t care for her “new direction” in her music. She should have ditched her pants and kept on rockin.
You uh, know what I mean, right?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m also listening to Chuck Berry. He has a preoccupation with girls who are or look like they are seventeen. I know it is a key demographic and it works rhythmically, but it is still really creepy.
++++++++++++++++++
I once joked that so many former Bush aides were going public to repudiate everything that the Bush White House once stood for that the only one left would be George W. himself. I was close on this one.
Former First Lady Laura Bush said that she’s pro-choice and for gay marriage. One of the Bush twins, Barbara, voiced support for the health care bill – on Fox News, no less.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for those that love to ascribe theological implications to random weather phenomena, a 60 ft statue of Jesus got struck by lightning and burned to the ground.
I had the idea that they built it with flammable material and no lightning rod, and it was an accident waiting to happen. I’m sure someone will blame Obama.
God is also the guy who put oil wealth under the feet of the least stable people on the planet. Nigeria, the middle east, Venezuela, and arguably Texas. Now it’s also discovered that Afghanistan has enormous untapped riches in minerals. Why can’t there be treasure in normal places like Massachusetts or Wisconsin?
I filled out my time sheet a day early. In case I get struck by lightning at lunch time, I’ll still get paid for the whole day.
++++++++++
Vampire overload! Too many movies/books/shows about the ever-dapper and attractive undead! I’d probably watch a show where they portrayed vampires from an angle that no one has ever thought of before, like vegan surfers. They’d still have all the random angst that we’ve come to expect from the genre, but they’ll express it in puns like “This sucks” and “That bites.” Hilarity ensues when the humans accidentally catch the vampires on taco night. “Oh my GOD! Look at the blood dripping from his mouth!” “Chill, bro, it’s just organic salsa. Don’t go bat-sh!t.”
+++++++++++++++++
The Republicans are simultaneously arguing that Obama wants to take over the world energy industry and that he’s not doing enough about the oil in the Gulf of Mexico. Not surprising, but I also can’t imagine what a Republican in the Oval Office would be doing.
Palin: I had a meeting with the BP executives yesterday, and I MADE THEM PAY (for lunch). You betcha.
McCain: We even ordered the Gulf Coast Shimp. Not cheap!
Palin: I had the red meat special.
McCain: Does shrimp usually come with a thick layer of tar?
Palin: Just think of it as Real American BBQ sauce, John! (wink, wink!)
++++++++++++++++++++++
This guy wrote a book on how the internet is making us stupid. Yes, this blog should be shown as supportive evidence.
His point is that we erode our ability to pay attention to anything on or off line when we are constantly checking email, IMs, texts and the like. Yet, your average teen can play Halo for 15 hours straight.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I had my temperature taken before I gave blood. I was chewing wintergreen flavored gum, which is supposed to give you cool, fresh breath. My temp was 98.4! Objective, verifiable proof that it works! Of course, I still have a hard time reconciling that fraction of a degree with a commercial where a woman chews the gum and freezes an entire landscape with her icy huffing and puffing.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Rush Limbaugh got married for the 4th time. I’m sure that she cares about him as a sensitive soul mate, and not at all for his fortune. I’m also sure that he respects her intelligence and not for the fact that she’s a trim blonde who is 26 years younger than him. She said that the age difference was insignificant because she could never relate to people her own age. That doesn’t necessarily mean she can relate to older men, but logic and deductive reasoning are probably just going to be taboo subjects in this relationship.
++++++++++++++++
I may need glasses soon. Instead of saying that I can’t focus on the small print, I prefer to say “far sighted”. I keep my eye on the horizon. I see the big picture clearly. I leave it to the piddling conservatives to suffer from myopia. Nay! I focus on the long term victory, not the short term goals.
Anyway, with no offense to people who wear glasses, they’re just not “me”. I’d look like a dork. If I get them, I’d have to redo my whole image to accompany them. I’ll get some artsy frames and wear black turtle necks. I’d need an artsy moniker to go along, like “The Hogen”. To get it to catch on, I’ll also start referring to myself in the third person to complete that Soho-faux-artsy-douche-bag style that The Hogen will soon be adopting.
If anything, The Hogen will be something Bee Gees are not.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
NRA, Tea Party, Health Care and Hoss the new boss
I got a phone call from the NRA last night. It was an “opinion” poll. First, I got to hear a taped diatribe about paranoid delusions from far right gun freaks. Then comes the “opinion” question “Do you think Hillary Clinton and the United Nations should be able to take away our rights?” My response: “You guys are full of crap.”
Every adult male in Iraq and Afghanistan carries a gun, and it doesn’t make either country any safer.
+++++++++++++++++++
I just learned that there are FIVE “Bring it On” movies. I am left wondering how many movies it will take before they finally bring it. You’d expect that it would be brought on maybe at the climax of the third movie, at least. That would make the additional two films more like “Brought It On” and “Take It Back”.
++++++++++++++++++
There was a columnist who wrote that if anyone got up in front of a crowd and said that American health care was the best in the world, they’d get laughed off the stage. But then McCain and McConnell did just that and got applause. By what metric are they measuring, I want to know.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m listening to a CD that seriously calls itself “The Most Relaxing Classical Album in the World -- EVER!” Well, my blood pressure was slowly dropping off with that lengthy and boring (yet somehow soothing) title – until they hit me with the “EVER!” part. No title with an exclamation point should purport itself to be “relaxing”. It scared me, dammit!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why must havoc always be wreaked? There’s not much else that is wreaked, save paths of destruction. But no one “makes havoc” or “prepares havoc”. Without wreaking, havoc could not occur. So, if you ever wish to prevent havoc, simply prevent wreaking.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Tea Party people seemed very concerned about the 37 new “czars”. They say that we’re not supposed to be old, imperialist Russia. The official title for them is actually “director” so what’s the hang up? What about the corporate world, run by Chief Executives? We’re being run by Indians? Why aren’t the cowboys better represented? Instead of COO, they should appoint someone called “Hoss”.
I think they may be biding their time before November, and they’re referring to the mid-term elections as “Judgment Day”. That’s kind of scary. If the Reps sweep into power, it will herald the destruction of life on Earth? What else could it mean? Don’t these idiots read that big book with the cross on it?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I live in a dry county. I can go to Wal-Mart to buy weapons and ammunition, but not a six pack of beer.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Iraq and Afghanistan have universal health care coverage – your tax dollars at work!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To the chicken-hawks who advocate that church and state should be one and the same, I present the honorable Reverend Jesse Jackson. Actually, the next time I hear about how great church and state would go together, I’d like to direct them to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Iran doesn’t have universal health care and runs gays and minorities out of town,. Oh, if only we could implement Sharia law here in the US. Sigh. Oh well, until then, just say hello to Amadinijad for me, Mr. Cheney!
++++++++++++++++++
My wife got the True Blood series on DVD from Netflix, and I watched it. I thought it was supposed to be about the secret lives of vampires, but it’s more focused on mortals who have no control over their libidos. Small town America, apparently, has nothing better to do than drink and fu*k. Aside from the murders, pettiness, poverty and of course, vampires, I’d go there.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Sarah Palin is against combining many bank regulatory agencies into the Fed. “The words ‘fox’ and ‘henhouse’ come to mind.” Ok, I agree. No, wait, I don’t. Hold on, is the Fed the fox, the hen or the house? Which one is the bank? The money is… an egg? Do foxes eat eggs when they can eat chickens? Is Obama the farmer?
The other day, the punchline from Dilbert was “If you find a kettle of crazy, it’s better not to stir it up.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Not surprisingly, recent college grads are having a rough time. I’ve always wondered how majors in obscure liberal arts like Women’s Literature ever got jobs even in good times. They work for 4 years aspiring to hang around highway exit ramps with a sign “Will critique lesbian authors for food”.
I know nothing about boring novels, but I will critique bad movies, music and TV shows – for free.
+++++++++++++++++++++
An episode of True Blood has some girl getting her friend out of police custody. The cops point out that she isn’t a lawyer. So she gets on a high horse about “Law school is some place where white boys pay to have books read to them. I read the books myself and saved the money.” She goes on to display a brilliant legal strategy. “We’re leavin’. You got nothin’ on him.” Those silly white boy classes – ha! Turns out all you have to do is watch a few episodes of Law & Order. And I get the Cliff-notes version, so all I have to do is watch one episode of True Blood. And you only have to read this paragraph. Oh, those foolish white boy lawyers and their fancy degrees! Where will those get you? A six figure income? Oh yeah, that.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Eeeaggh! I just got an email from someone in the department typed in all caps, Comic Sans, purple text, and 36 point font. She said “your” instead of “you’re”, “there” instead of “their”. Completely unprofessional, but she’s friendly. I’m sure she’ll get an award at our next meeting for something.
Every adult male in Iraq and Afghanistan carries a gun, and it doesn’t make either country any safer.
+++++++++++++++++++
I just learned that there are FIVE “Bring it On” movies. I am left wondering how many movies it will take before they finally bring it. You’d expect that it would be brought on maybe at the climax of the third movie, at least. That would make the additional two films more like “Brought It On” and “Take It Back”.
++++++++++++++++++
There was a columnist who wrote that if anyone got up in front of a crowd and said that American health care was the best in the world, they’d get laughed off the stage. But then McCain and McConnell did just that and got applause. By what metric are they measuring, I want to know.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m listening to a CD that seriously calls itself “The Most Relaxing Classical Album in the World -- EVER!” Well, my blood pressure was slowly dropping off with that lengthy and boring (yet somehow soothing) title – until they hit me with the “EVER!” part. No title with an exclamation point should purport itself to be “relaxing”. It scared me, dammit!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why must havoc always be wreaked? There’s not much else that is wreaked, save paths of destruction. But no one “makes havoc” or “prepares havoc”. Without wreaking, havoc could not occur. So, if you ever wish to prevent havoc, simply prevent wreaking.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Tea Party people seemed very concerned about the 37 new “czars”. They say that we’re not supposed to be old, imperialist Russia. The official title for them is actually “director” so what’s the hang up? What about the corporate world, run by Chief Executives? We’re being run by Indians? Why aren’t the cowboys better represented? Instead of COO, they should appoint someone called “Hoss”.
I think they may be biding their time before November, and they’re referring to the mid-term elections as “Judgment Day”. That’s kind of scary. If the Reps sweep into power, it will herald the destruction of life on Earth? What else could it mean? Don’t these idiots read that big book with the cross on it?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
I live in a dry county. I can go to Wal-Mart to buy weapons and ammunition, but not a six pack of beer.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Iraq and Afghanistan have universal health care coverage – your tax dollars at work!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
To the chicken-hawks who advocate that church and state should be one and the same, I present the honorable Reverend Jesse Jackson. Actually, the next time I hear about how great church and state would go together, I’d like to direct them to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Iran doesn’t have universal health care and runs gays and minorities out of town,. Oh, if only we could implement Sharia law here in the US. Sigh. Oh well, until then, just say hello to Amadinijad for me, Mr. Cheney!
++++++++++++++++++
My wife got the True Blood series on DVD from Netflix, and I watched it. I thought it was supposed to be about the secret lives of vampires, but it’s more focused on mortals who have no control over their libidos. Small town America, apparently, has nothing better to do than drink and fu*k. Aside from the murders, pettiness, poverty and of course, vampires, I’d go there.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Sarah Palin is against combining many bank regulatory agencies into the Fed. “The words ‘fox’ and ‘henhouse’ come to mind.” Ok, I agree. No, wait, I don’t. Hold on, is the Fed the fox, the hen or the house? Which one is the bank? The money is… an egg? Do foxes eat eggs when they can eat chickens? Is Obama the farmer?
The other day, the punchline from Dilbert was “If you find a kettle of crazy, it’s better not to stir it up.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Not surprisingly, recent college grads are having a rough time. I’ve always wondered how majors in obscure liberal arts like Women’s Literature ever got jobs even in good times. They work for 4 years aspiring to hang around highway exit ramps with a sign “Will critique lesbian authors for food”.
I know nothing about boring novels, but I will critique bad movies, music and TV shows – for free.
+++++++++++++++++++++
An episode of True Blood has some girl getting her friend out of police custody. The cops point out that she isn’t a lawyer. So she gets on a high horse about “Law school is some place where white boys pay to have books read to them. I read the books myself and saved the money.” She goes on to display a brilliant legal strategy. “We’re leavin’. You got nothin’ on him.” Those silly white boy classes – ha! Turns out all you have to do is watch a few episodes of Law & Order. And I get the Cliff-notes version, so all I have to do is watch one episode of True Blood. And you only have to read this paragraph. Oh, those foolish white boy lawyers and their fancy degrees! Where will those get you? A six figure income? Oh yeah, that.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Eeeaggh! I just got an email from someone in the department typed in all caps, Comic Sans, purple text, and 36 point font. She said “your” instead of “you’re”, “there” instead of “their”. Completely unprofessional, but she’s friendly. I’m sure she’ll get an award at our next meeting for something.
Who watches the watchmen? Mary Poppins LOL!
I call bullsh!t on Mary Poppins. Before the song “Tuppence”, the bank founder said that he started banking with tuppence (they break out into song). Later, George Banks (the dad) was going to be fired. He was asked when the last run on the bank was, and he said 1773, when the bank financed the ill fated ship that became the target of the Boston Tea Party. Indeed, George Banks’ boss was a geezer. But if he founded the bank when he was 18, that would still put him at 165 years old when the movie takes place.
That is definitive proof that Mary Poppins is a right wing propaganda film. I’m on to your little game, Mary “Tuppence” Poppins!
+++++++++++
Bob Dylan sono is. Is est proinde profundus.
Bob Dylan sings it. It is therefore profound.
++++++++++++++++
I once ran 3000 miles in a year. So, I call bullsh!t on Forrest Gump. In the movie, he went across America – twice.
Robert Zumekis makes you think that he ran all freakin’ day long. How many hours per day could he really run? Three hours per day every day? Four? That’s a lot of time left sitting around with your thumb up your ass. Bullshit Forrest. Bullshit, Tom Hanks. Bullshit Zumekis. You’re all full of it.
+++++++++++++++++++
Terrible things will happen if the government takes over health care, don’t you know. I work for a government run health insurance program and I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror.
As far as inefficiency, let’s take a look at how we stack up against other developed nations. We spend the most, we get the worst quality. There it is in 10 words or less. What terrible things will happen if we go to a single-payer system? Is our government so much less efficient than France’s?
Did you know that the government wants you to use drugs? Yes! It subsidizes drug makers and sellers. It will even give money to drug users to buy the stuff! True! See? The government can’t do anything right.
Or “medicine”, as you drug-addled liberals like to call it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why do I still hear complaints about how many men are Fortune 500 CEOs and how few women are? That’s not society, that’s 0.000007% of the world population. And it is a statistical fact that men are more likely to dominate the higher and lower ends of a scale. There are more unemployed men, for instance.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So I’m watching “Alien Vs. Predator” – yeah, I know, highbrow entertainment. I’m at least a little disappointed because the titular matchup between these impossible sci-fi behemoths does not actually occur until well past the halfway mark. Until then, Aliens and Predators were just indiscriminately hacking Earthings. As the catchphrase says “Either way, Humans lose.” Especially those who wasted 2 hours watching.
If you catch the detailed itemization that justifies the PG-13 rating, included in the list is “violence”, “profanity”, and “slimy ooze”. For the love of God, you must keep your underage children from watching other people get yucky.
As far as stars, this flick doesn’t have Sigourney Weaver, Arnold Schwartzenegger, or even a miscast Danny Glover. Lance Henrickson is the closest thing to “marquee” name recognition, but his character dies. So who stars in the AVP2: Inevitable Sequel? I hope it’s someone lower on the D-list like the guy who played Klinger on MASH.
+++++++++++++++++
Vengeance is a dish best served up cold. Like ice cream. Call it “Revenge Ripple”. “Vengeance French Vanilla”. “Bitter Blackhearted Blackberry”. “Rocky Retribution”. “Payback’s-a-Bitch Sorbet”. No, I don’t remember where I was going with this.
+++++++++++++++++++
The local congressman, Ben Chandler, refused to participate in town hall meetings about health care. He stated that the participants don’t listen to a word that is said and simply shout at the speaker. So the Republicans held a meeting and put a stuffed figure in his place. The participants yelled their misinformation to their hearts content and it left them as convinced as ever in their own opinion. To no one’s amazement, Republicans don’t find this ironic.
+++++++++++++++++++
I read the Watchmen graphic novel a month or so ago. It was awesome. But the ending… wasn’t. Great set-up, but then when you find out what the over-arching plot is, the whole thing is outrageously silly. The movie tweaked the plot to make it not-as-far-fetched, but the movie failed on several other levels. Some amalgam could be fantastic.
+++++++++++++++++++
My pet peeve du jour: People who write “lol” at the end of every sentence in print. I’ll laugh when I want to, and I don’t need instruction.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a setting on the microwave at work that says “Quick Minute”. I tried it once, but the minute lasted exactly 60 seconds, like always.
+++++++++++++++
I also watched Butterfly Effect 2. In one of the 4 alternate endings to Butterfly Effect 1, the protagonist went back in time and killed himself in the womb. Well, in part 2, some other guy gets a head wound and is given the ability to change the past. Anyway, it ends with this guy driving off a cliff and dying, but that won’t stop BE3 from coming out.
The only cool character was the gay hit man. Just the right mix of butch and Liberace. Unfortunately, he only lasted 5 minutes on screen.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pet peeve du jour: Actual answering machine message “Hi… my…name… is… Amisositreciner, and… I’m… calling… about…….. (three rambling minutes later) … please… call… me… at… twosevenzerothreesixfveatefortreetwo. Thankyoubye.”
+++++++++++++++++++++
I watched the acclaimed PBS series “The Paper Chase”, about Harvard Law School in the 70s. Oh, the hair! It hurts my eyes! How bad are the haircuts? Fro, dude. How does someone with lousy hair get laid so easily? Here’s his big pick-up line: “I was just in the neighborhood…“ And the next scene is ‘Fro Dude and a chick in bed. Seriously, is that really all it took back then?
+++++++++++++++++
I don’t know how a conservative can make the argument with a straight face that keeping eight unlicensed, automatic weapons at home is ok, because people can be trusted to be responsible; yet having a slot machine 40 miles away is dangerous, because people never know how to handle their own money.
That is definitive proof that Mary Poppins is a right wing propaganda film. I’m on to your little game, Mary “Tuppence” Poppins!
+++++++++++
Bob Dylan sono is. Is est proinde profundus.
Bob Dylan sings it. It is therefore profound.
++++++++++++++++
I once ran 3000 miles in a year. So, I call bullsh!t on Forrest Gump. In the movie, he went across America – twice.
Robert Zumekis makes you think that he ran all freakin’ day long. How many hours per day could he really run? Three hours per day every day? Four? That’s a lot of time left sitting around with your thumb up your ass. Bullshit Forrest. Bullshit, Tom Hanks. Bullshit Zumekis. You’re all full of it.
+++++++++++++++++++
Terrible things will happen if the government takes over health care, don’t you know. I work for a government run health insurance program and I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror.
As far as inefficiency, let’s take a look at how we stack up against other developed nations. We spend the most, we get the worst quality. There it is in 10 words or less. What terrible things will happen if we go to a single-payer system? Is our government so much less efficient than France’s?
Did you know that the government wants you to use drugs? Yes! It subsidizes drug makers and sellers. It will even give money to drug users to buy the stuff! True! See? The government can’t do anything right.
Or “medicine”, as you drug-addled liberals like to call it.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Why do I still hear complaints about how many men are Fortune 500 CEOs and how few women are? That’s not society, that’s 0.000007% of the world population. And it is a statistical fact that men are more likely to dominate the higher and lower ends of a scale. There are more unemployed men, for instance.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So I’m watching “Alien Vs. Predator” – yeah, I know, highbrow entertainment. I’m at least a little disappointed because the titular matchup between these impossible sci-fi behemoths does not actually occur until well past the halfway mark. Until then, Aliens and Predators were just indiscriminately hacking Earthings. As the catchphrase says “Either way, Humans lose.” Especially those who wasted 2 hours watching.
If you catch the detailed itemization that justifies the PG-13 rating, included in the list is “violence”, “profanity”, and “slimy ooze”. For the love of God, you must keep your underage children from watching other people get yucky.
As far as stars, this flick doesn’t have Sigourney Weaver, Arnold Schwartzenegger, or even a miscast Danny Glover. Lance Henrickson is the closest thing to “marquee” name recognition, but his character dies. So who stars in the AVP2: Inevitable Sequel? I hope it’s someone lower on the D-list like the guy who played Klinger on MASH.
+++++++++++++++++
Vengeance is a dish best served up cold. Like ice cream. Call it “Revenge Ripple”. “Vengeance French Vanilla”. “Bitter Blackhearted Blackberry”. “Rocky Retribution”. “Payback’s-a-Bitch Sorbet”. No, I don’t remember where I was going with this.
+++++++++++++++++++
The local congressman, Ben Chandler, refused to participate in town hall meetings about health care. He stated that the participants don’t listen to a word that is said and simply shout at the speaker. So the Republicans held a meeting and put a stuffed figure in his place. The participants yelled their misinformation to their hearts content and it left them as convinced as ever in their own opinion. To no one’s amazement, Republicans don’t find this ironic.
+++++++++++++++++++
I read the Watchmen graphic novel a month or so ago. It was awesome. But the ending… wasn’t. Great set-up, but then when you find out what the over-arching plot is, the whole thing is outrageously silly. The movie tweaked the plot to make it not-as-far-fetched, but the movie failed on several other levels. Some amalgam could be fantastic.
+++++++++++++++++++
My pet peeve du jour: People who write “lol” at the end of every sentence in print. I’ll laugh when I want to, and I don’t need instruction.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
There’s a setting on the microwave at work that says “Quick Minute”. I tried it once, but the minute lasted exactly 60 seconds, like always.
+++++++++++++++
I also watched Butterfly Effect 2. In one of the 4 alternate endings to Butterfly Effect 1, the protagonist went back in time and killed himself in the womb. Well, in part 2, some other guy gets a head wound and is given the ability to change the past. Anyway, it ends with this guy driving off a cliff and dying, but that won’t stop BE3 from coming out.
The only cool character was the gay hit man. Just the right mix of butch and Liberace. Unfortunately, he only lasted 5 minutes on screen.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pet peeve du jour: Actual answering machine message “Hi… my…name… is… Amisositreciner, and… I’m… calling… about…….. (three rambling minutes later) … please… call… me… at… twosevenzerothreesixfveatefortreetwo. Thankyoubye.”
+++++++++++++++++++++
I watched the acclaimed PBS series “The Paper Chase”, about Harvard Law School in the 70s. Oh, the hair! It hurts my eyes! How bad are the haircuts? Fro, dude. How does someone with lousy hair get laid so easily? Here’s his big pick-up line: “I was just in the neighborhood…“ And the next scene is ‘Fro Dude and a chick in bed. Seriously, is that really all it took back then?
+++++++++++++++++
I don’t know how a conservative can make the argument with a straight face that keeping eight unlicensed, automatic weapons at home is ok, because people can be trusted to be responsible; yet having a slot machine 40 miles away is dangerous, because people never know how to handle their own money.
Has-beens, never-wases and what happens when you're 50
Apparently when you’re 50, your heart suddenly shrinks by 20%. That’s the age when it becomes immediately apparent who has been a good steward of their body and who has not. It has nothing to do with how dazzling your eyes were at age 20 or a square jaw or cutesy nose. Around that age, its like when the tide goes out and you suddenly see who’s wearing a bathing suit.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I often wonder about people who are on the far outer fringes of celebrity. On the one hand, pitching Time-Life CDs or doing commercial voice-over work probably beats having a real job. Don’t believe it when they tell you otherwise. Vanna White was interviewed (yes, I regret reading it and still remembering) and amongst her aimless nothing-to-say ramblings, mentioned that everyone thought that it was so easy to have her job. But apparently, turning letters is such a tough gig. I mean, you have to know which letters to turn (you turn the ones that light up, Vanna).
Same with cartoonists. They come in with expectations that it will be easy, but then it turns into a 9-5 job just to do the art. I just don’t see it. Spend the extra time on the joke, you guys. No one cares if Dagwood has five perfectly straight hairs up the side of his head or only three, or if Blandie is inexplicably shocked that her husband discusses his creepy food fetish again.
I seem to have run off track a bit. You have to think that most of these people thought at one time that they were going to be the next Al Pacino or Meryl Streep and are instead locked in a studio recording multiple takes about the 2010 Ford Fusion. A success story from that genre, Barry Manilow got his start pitching commercial jingles. Worse, from the tacky to the uber-tacky, he sings those same jingles at his concerts even to this day.
But then there’s the post-glamor letdown. Flo & Eddie from the 60’s band The Turtles had their own radio show on K-Rock. Guaranteed you’d hear their “Happy Together” hit at the start and close of their show as if to say “We were famous once. Now we’re doing a radio show and not even during drive time.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Michelle Obama was an adult before she was proud of her country for the first time. But I read about the annual reunion of the Hatfields and the McCoys in the newspaper. After five or six generations of shooting at each other and three generations of indifference, the decedents have various theories but can’t pinpoint the exact nature of the original conflict. They all get together for a picnic each summer and interact. That’s why I’m proud of America. The Serbs, the Croats, the Shiites, the Sunnis, the Kurds, et al, they can’t put the rifles down and eat at the same table.
I also saw a clip of the reunion at Gettysburg. 75 years after that historical battle, the surviving members met at the wall where the fiercest fighting took place. Instead of a violent clash, they shook hands. They were also 95 years old, but you understand the gesture.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The politicos engage in chronic game-theory strategy. They know that someone from one of the two parties will win almost every election. So you don’t have to do anything worthy, you just have to demonstrate that the competition is unworthy. “Brie-eating, merlot sipping liberal! Go back to France!” “This is Wisconsin brie and California wine – and it’s PINOT NOIR, you ignoramus!!” Public interest is left out of the bickering entirely. So I understand the desirability of the Tea Party trying to be the long-sought-after answer to many of our country's complaints. In practice, however, most of the candidates that they endorse are right wing Republican. Libertarians have long since espoused the Tea Party platform, but without success. I voted Libertarian for the '84 elections, by the way. It was an absentee ballot in the biggest landslide in history. I hope that I put a smile on the Lib candidate by doubling his vote count.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pelosi is extremely consistent in her views. Boxer a little less so, but still mostly consistent. However, they’re consistently extremist liberal. I don’t want extremists of either variety in office. You can argue that left wing extremists balance out the right wing extremists, but like I just said, I don’t want ANY extremists in office. I feel like the spam guy on Monty Python. “But I don’t like spam.” “You can have the spam, spam, eggs & spam. That hasn’t got much spam in it.” “But I don’t want ANY spam!” “I’ll eat your spam, I LOVE it!” Then some Vikings come in singing some wacky spam song.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Not to change the subject, but I’m going to change the subject.
I saw the 1966 movie Fantastic Voyage. Not enough Raquel Welch in tights, other than that, a good movie for the time. Amazing how they could shrink a submarine to microscopic proportions, yet had a non-digital display on their clocks. I’d be willing to suspend my disbelief if only they showed more of the young Ms. Welch in spandex.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was listening to the John Tesh radio show (not on purpose). He was showing how cool he was by talking about the texting acronyms. No, John, “WTF” does not stand for “Why the face?”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I often wonder about people who are on the far outer fringes of celebrity. On the one hand, pitching Time-Life CDs or doing commercial voice-over work probably beats having a real job. Don’t believe it when they tell you otherwise. Vanna White was interviewed (yes, I regret reading it and still remembering) and amongst her aimless nothing-to-say ramblings, mentioned that everyone thought that it was so easy to have her job. But apparently, turning letters is such a tough gig. I mean, you have to know which letters to turn (you turn the ones that light up, Vanna).
Same with cartoonists. They come in with expectations that it will be easy, but then it turns into a 9-5 job just to do the art. I just don’t see it. Spend the extra time on the joke, you guys. No one cares if Dagwood has five perfectly straight hairs up the side of his head or only three, or if Blandie is inexplicably shocked that her husband discusses his creepy food fetish again.
I seem to have run off track a bit. You have to think that most of these people thought at one time that they were going to be the next Al Pacino or Meryl Streep and are instead locked in a studio recording multiple takes about the 2010 Ford Fusion. A success story from that genre, Barry Manilow got his start pitching commercial jingles. Worse, from the tacky to the uber-tacky, he sings those same jingles at his concerts even to this day.
But then there’s the post-glamor letdown. Flo & Eddie from the 60’s band The Turtles had their own radio show on K-Rock. Guaranteed you’d hear their “Happy Together” hit at the start and close of their show as if to say “We were famous once. Now we’re doing a radio show and not even during drive time.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Michelle Obama was an adult before she was proud of her country for the first time. But I read about the annual reunion of the Hatfields and the McCoys in the newspaper. After five or six generations of shooting at each other and three generations of indifference, the decedents have various theories but can’t pinpoint the exact nature of the original conflict. They all get together for a picnic each summer and interact. That’s why I’m proud of America. The Serbs, the Croats, the Shiites, the Sunnis, the Kurds, et al, they can’t put the rifles down and eat at the same table.
I also saw a clip of the reunion at Gettysburg. 75 years after that historical battle, the surviving members met at the wall where the fiercest fighting took place. Instead of a violent clash, they shook hands. They were also 95 years old, but you understand the gesture.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The politicos engage in chronic game-theory strategy. They know that someone from one of the two parties will win almost every election. So you don’t have to do anything worthy, you just have to demonstrate that the competition is unworthy. “Brie-eating, merlot sipping liberal! Go back to France!” “This is Wisconsin brie and California wine – and it’s PINOT NOIR, you ignoramus!!” Public interest is left out of the bickering entirely. So I understand the desirability of the Tea Party trying to be the long-sought-after answer to many of our country's complaints. In practice, however, most of the candidates that they endorse are right wing Republican. Libertarians have long since espoused the Tea Party platform, but without success. I voted Libertarian for the '84 elections, by the way. It was an absentee ballot in the biggest landslide in history. I hope that I put a smile on the Lib candidate by doubling his vote count.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pelosi is extremely consistent in her views. Boxer a little less so, but still mostly consistent. However, they’re consistently extremist liberal. I don’t want extremists of either variety in office. You can argue that left wing extremists balance out the right wing extremists, but like I just said, I don’t want ANY extremists in office. I feel like the spam guy on Monty Python. “But I don’t like spam.” “You can have the spam, spam, eggs & spam. That hasn’t got much spam in it.” “But I don’t want ANY spam!” “I’ll eat your spam, I LOVE it!” Then some Vikings come in singing some wacky spam song.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Not to change the subject, but I’m going to change the subject.
I saw the 1966 movie Fantastic Voyage. Not enough Raquel Welch in tights, other than that, a good movie for the time. Amazing how they could shrink a submarine to microscopic proportions, yet had a non-digital display on their clocks. I’d be willing to suspend my disbelief if only they showed more of the young Ms. Welch in spandex.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was listening to the John Tesh radio show (not on purpose). He was showing how cool he was by talking about the texting acronyms. No, John, “WTF” does not stand for “Why the face?”
Margaret Thatcher's secret fetish
I’m listening to an old CD from the Cranberries Bury the Hatchet. Late in the CD is a song that says how terrible it is to molest children. I’m sure the clandestine pedophiles that used to like this band dropped them right away. Or maybe Michael Jackson listened to it and thought “Even the Cranberries don’t like me. *sniff* That hurts.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Quitters never win. That’s why no one wants to stop smoking.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Palin keeps the press out of her rallies, and bars cell phones and other recording devices. What kind of a politician actively seeks to keep away from the cameras while still holding rallies? If she can’t bear the limelight of being a potential candidate years before the race, how is she going to deal with being President 24 hours per day, when every jackoff with a blog will nitpick her every move?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
20 years after the Berlin Wall came down, secret memos got de-classified. Bush Sr. and Margaret Thatcher were actually against the wall coming down and the re-unification of Germany. All that Republican BS about “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” was phony. After the Wall comes down, who took credit? George Bush Sr., as if he had taken a pickaxe to it himself and singlehandedly smashed it to bits. Thatcher outright demanded that Gorbachev do something with his troops stationed in East Germany. Maybe because Thatcher was a woman, she didn’t know how messed up it is to f*ck Germany while using the Soviet’s d!ck. Seriously, Maggie, it’s rude.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My five year old knows the difference between a red and white wine glass. I’m a bad parent. I probably told her the difference a few months ago, and she put in her vault and she’ll never forget. Meanwhile, I’m still working on “please” and “thank you” for the 11,000th time.
Don’t look at me like that. Red wine glass, white wine glass, whatever. We drink the stuff from a box. It is to wine what McD’s is to burgers. It’s not merlot, it’s McErlot (pronounce the silent ‘t’).
Yet, I can’t stomach drinking from the wrong glass.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
Quitters never win. That’s why no one wants to stop smoking.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Palin keeps the press out of her rallies, and bars cell phones and other recording devices. What kind of a politician actively seeks to keep away from the cameras while still holding rallies? If she can’t bear the limelight of being a potential candidate years before the race, how is she going to deal with being President 24 hours per day, when every jackoff with a blog will nitpick her every move?
++++++++++++++++++++++++
20 years after the Berlin Wall came down, secret memos got de-classified. Bush Sr. and Margaret Thatcher were actually against the wall coming down and the re-unification of Germany. All that Republican BS about “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” was phony. After the Wall comes down, who took credit? George Bush Sr., as if he had taken a pickaxe to it himself and singlehandedly smashed it to bits. Thatcher outright demanded that Gorbachev do something with his troops stationed in East Germany. Maybe because Thatcher was a woman, she didn’t know how messed up it is to f*ck Germany while using the Soviet’s d!ck. Seriously, Maggie, it’s rude.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My five year old knows the difference between a red and white wine glass. I’m a bad parent. I probably told her the difference a few months ago, and she put in her vault and she’ll never forget. Meanwhile, I’m still working on “please” and “thank you” for the 11,000th time.
Don’t look at me like that. Red wine glass, white wine glass, whatever. We drink the stuff from a box. It is to wine what McD’s is to burgers. It’s not merlot, it’s McErlot (pronounce the silent ‘t’).
Yet, I can’t stomach drinking from the wrong glass.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
CDs, CGI, CSI, GI Punk and lots more!
So here I am, working at the state. In contrast to private enterprise, we work together as one. That is to say, the entire department has the output of a single individual.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As a result of voyaging into the library CD collection, I heard the Rush CD “Feedback”. I’m not used to a CD in this day and age that is only 27 minutes long. But on the plus side, I didn’t have to pay for it.
+++++++++++++++++++
A colleague is turning 60, and my co-workers put up a big banner that says “Over The Hill”. It’s a trite joke at 40. I think when you’re around at 60, it’s sort of cruel.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
On election day 2008 my politically ignorant neighbor woman said that she voted against Obama because he would do all sorts of pro-abortion things. It’s already legal, so I’m not sure what else would happen. Anyway, it’s all about abortion to her. So today I read that more young people are pro-life than a year ago. I also read that there were more teen abortions in 2006 than in previous years. So once the nation’s youth makes up their minds, I’m sure it will be Obama’s fault one way or the other.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
In a marathon, I don’t feel like I hit “the wall”. If I were to coin a term, I’d call it “sandbagged”. I feel like I’m gradually filling up with sand, and 3 miles from the finish, those bags are getting really heavy.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today, I had the perfect park. It was sweet. I called out my friends and colleagues to come out and see. It wasn’t an easy lot-park, either. It was the tough stuff. The dreaded parallel park, you know. It was so well-done that people walking by took notice and started asking questions. Yeah, it was a back-in. Those people who go front-first into a parking space are really just trying to show off, and you can always tell that by the quality of the end result. I measured to make sure that the space between my car and the car in front was exactly equal to the space between my car and the car in back. One guy asked me if it was a 5 inch differential between the car and curb. No, it was actually a 4 incher. I could have gone 3, but then you start getting interaction with the tires when you’re pulling out. I got a good start. My steering wheel was perfectly matched up to the steering wheel of the forward car, then I backed in – slowly, but not too slowly. I was about to loose it, when I suddenly banked the wheels just that extra little bit at the critical moment. I like to pull it forward just a little to straighten the tires before I shut the engine, too. The result? Solid, I tell you. It was real.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m just waiting for a movie called “More CGI Penguins”, because that is clearly what the public is clamoring for.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I impressed my wife with my hipness. We were watching CSI, and in the background was a song from Portisehead, that I correctly identified as being from their new CD. Then I took it a step too far and mentioned that I got it from the library. She basically said that someone bought the CD and then decided that it was such crap that it should be donated or chucked. She might have had a point. The song in question was being played in the background of a bondage-themed sex house. “Whip me, beat me, anything! Just don’t make me listen to that sh!tty Portisehead CD again!”
++++++++++++++++++++++
I swear that it is as true as anything else on the internet, the soldiers at Guantanamo have been playing loud rock music to torture the enemies of America. Oh my gawd. What, like some waterboard-hardened, would-be-suicide-terrorist would be unnerved by Metallica’s “The Unforgiven III”? True enough, the Barney song would have me begging for stress positions in a hurry, but I can totally rock out to Sesame Street. You can’t break me, I was raised on that shiite! You heard me! Give it up for Big Bird and Bert the Bad@ss, y’all. Yeah, give it to me, G.I. Punk!
Really, when you consider that soldiers are really kids in their late teens to early thirties, the music isn’t anything that they, the soldiers aren’t listening to- very loudly.
Terrorist: “Please, Infidel, stop making me listen to the new Metallica! If it were the “Justice For All”, I could take it, preferably something from “Master of Puppets”. But I hardly recognize this band anymore! I’ll confess to anything! Just stop with these good bands past their prime!”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
As a result of voyaging into the library CD collection, I heard the Rush CD “Feedback”. I’m not used to a CD in this day and age that is only 27 minutes long. But on the plus side, I didn’t have to pay for it.
+++++++++++++++++++
A colleague is turning 60, and my co-workers put up a big banner that says “Over The Hill”. It’s a trite joke at 40. I think when you’re around at 60, it’s sort of cruel.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
On election day 2008 my politically ignorant neighbor woman said that she voted against Obama because he would do all sorts of pro-abortion things. It’s already legal, so I’m not sure what else would happen. Anyway, it’s all about abortion to her. So today I read that more young people are pro-life than a year ago. I also read that there were more teen abortions in 2006 than in previous years. So once the nation’s youth makes up their minds, I’m sure it will be Obama’s fault one way or the other.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
In a marathon, I don’t feel like I hit “the wall”. If I were to coin a term, I’d call it “sandbagged”. I feel like I’m gradually filling up with sand, and 3 miles from the finish, those bags are getting really heavy.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today, I had the perfect park. It was sweet. I called out my friends and colleagues to come out and see. It wasn’t an easy lot-park, either. It was the tough stuff. The dreaded parallel park, you know. It was so well-done that people walking by took notice and started asking questions. Yeah, it was a back-in. Those people who go front-first into a parking space are really just trying to show off, and you can always tell that by the quality of the end result. I measured to make sure that the space between my car and the car in front was exactly equal to the space between my car and the car in back. One guy asked me if it was a 5 inch differential between the car and curb. No, it was actually a 4 incher. I could have gone 3, but then you start getting interaction with the tires when you’re pulling out. I got a good start. My steering wheel was perfectly matched up to the steering wheel of the forward car, then I backed in – slowly, but not too slowly. I was about to loose it, when I suddenly banked the wheels just that extra little bit at the critical moment. I like to pull it forward just a little to straighten the tires before I shut the engine, too. The result? Solid, I tell you. It was real.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I’m just waiting for a movie called “More CGI Penguins”, because that is clearly what the public is clamoring for.
++++++++++++++++++++++
I impressed my wife with my hipness. We were watching CSI, and in the background was a song from Portisehead, that I correctly identified as being from their new CD. Then I took it a step too far and mentioned that I got it from the library. She basically said that someone bought the CD and then decided that it was such crap that it should be donated or chucked. She might have had a point. The song in question was being played in the background of a bondage-themed sex house. “Whip me, beat me, anything! Just don’t make me listen to that sh!tty Portisehead CD again!”
++++++++++++++++++++++
I swear that it is as true as anything else on the internet, the soldiers at Guantanamo have been playing loud rock music to torture the enemies of America. Oh my gawd. What, like some waterboard-hardened, would-be-suicide-terrorist would be unnerved by Metallica’s “The Unforgiven III”? True enough, the Barney song would have me begging for stress positions in a hurry, but I can totally rock out to Sesame Street. You can’t break me, I was raised on that shiite! You heard me! Give it up for Big Bird and Bert the Bad@ss, y’all. Yeah, give it to me, G.I. Punk!
Really, when you consider that soldiers are really kids in their late teens to early thirties, the music isn’t anything that they, the soldiers aren’t listening to- very loudly.
Terrorist: “Please, Infidel, stop making me listen to the new Metallica! If it were the “Justice For All”, I could take it, preferably something from “Master of Puppets”. But I hardly recognize this band anymore! I’ll confess to anything! Just stop with these good bands past their prime!”
How to get elected to a school board without really trying
I’ve said it before: we should have just showered money on Iraq and called it quits. The population of Iraq is 20 million. Estimates of the total cost of the war are in the 2 trillion dollar range. 2 trillion dollars represents one hundred thousand dollars for every man, woman and child in Iraq. If the US could give all of us a fraction of that, and stipulate that it be spent on public infrastructure, we’d have the best public transportation, sewage, schools, parks, hospitals and police protection in the world.
The numbers behind the big troop surge in Afghanistan is equally baffling. We’re sending in 30,000 new troops, which will cost 30,000,000,000 more dollars. Who are we sending? Dr. Evil? “Per troop it costs one million dollars!”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
In al-Quiada, nepotism and cronyism are not only accepted, but encouraged. Bribery is more of a position perk than a shady deal. For all their pious Islamic sanctimony, terrorists are awful at governing. Sort of like Bush, except that he’s Baptist.
+++++++++++++++++++++
In order to get elected to the school board, I’d have to look great in a tux with a hottie on each arm. Ok, I don’t know how great I would look, but I certainly would FEEL like I was the sh!t with a hottie on each arm, and people vote on feeling rather than campaign substance.
If actually elected to the Board, I’d never visit an actual school, anyway. I’d like to avoid the appearance of pedophilia, but mostly I’d avoid it because I’d be expected to know what the hell really happens there. I’d probably be expected to arrive sober, and that sort of thing is outside the parameters of my platform. My plan involves arriving (via chauffeur) at the occasional board meeting and railing against Iraq, overcrowding in the Texas prison system, deforestation in South America (should I be pro or con?) and the agonizing bye week in between the NFC and AFC conference championship games and the Superbowl. I’ll propose that since two thirds of the Earth’s surface is covered by water, we should abide by the majority and sink the seven continents. Oh, and I’m sick and tired of all these off beat places like the remote South Pacific Ocean getting all the total solar eclipses. I think they should be rescheduled and awarded to higher population areas and those that have had greater historical voter participation.
When asked what in blue blazes any of that had to do with the local school district, I could quickly change my attack to using Bounty© paper towels rather than Brawny©. See, if there’s water on the floor, and Brawny doesn’t get it all fast enough, some kid can slip and crack his or her head wide open and bleed all over the floor, and since Brawny can’t remove that blood fast enough, other kids may slip on it and crack their heads on it, spilling more blood until the entire school might just as well have been nuked by Iran. Bounty© is by far the quicker picker-upper and anyone who disagrees has just surrendered to the terrorists. I’m headed back to the fridge. Anyone else want a beer? Just don’t spill it, or this place could turn into a grizzly bloodbath.
The numbers behind the big troop surge in Afghanistan is equally baffling. We’re sending in 30,000 new troops, which will cost 30,000,000,000 more dollars. Who are we sending? Dr. Evil? “Per troop it costs one million dollars!”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
In al-Quiada, nepotism and cronyism are not only accepted, but encouraged. Bribery is more of a position perk than a shady deal. For all their pious Islamic sanctimony, terrorists are awful at governing. Sort of like Bush, except that he’s Baptist.
+++++++++++++++++++++
In order to get elected to the school board, I’d have to look great in a tux with a hottie on each arm. Ok, I don’t know how great I would look, but I certainly would FEEL like I was the sh!t with a hottie on each arm, and people vote on feeling rather than campaign substance.
If actually elected to the Board, I’d never visit an actual school, anyway. I’d like to avoid the appearance of pedophilia, but mostly I’d avoid it because I’d be expected to know what the hell really happens there. I’d probably be expected to arrive sober, and that sort of thing is outside the parameters of my platform. My plan involves arriving (via chauffeur) at the occasional board meeting and railing against Iraq, overcrowding in the Texas prison system, deforestation in South America (should I be pro or con?) and the agonizing bye week in between the NFC and AFC conference championship games and the Superbowl. I’ll propose that since two thirds of the Earth’s surface is covered by water, we should abide by the majority and sink the seven continents. Oh, and I’m sick and tired of all these off beat places like the remote South Pacific Ocean getting all the total solar eclipses. I think they should be rescheduled and awarded to higher population areas and those that have had greater historical voter participation.
When asked what in blue blazes any of that had to do with the local school district, I could quickly change my attack to using Bounty© paper towels rather than Brawny©. See, if there’s water on the floor, and Brawny doesn’t get it all fast enough, some kid can slip and crack his or her head wide open and bleed all over the floor, and since Brawny can’t remove that blood fast enough, other kids may slip on it and crack their heads on it, spilling more blood until the entire school might just as well have been nuked by Iran. Bounty© is by far the quicker picker-upper and anyone who disagrees has just surrendered to the terrorists. I’m headed back to the fridge. Anyone else want a beer? Just don’t spill it, or this place could turn into a grizzly bloodbath.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Dishonor in Texas
I have Netflix, but my wife loads up the queue with her chick flicks. When I ask how they were, she always says “Eh, ok.” Why can’t she just watch the same one repeatedly and arrive at the same review? For that matter, why do they bother to write new scripts? Can’t they have the different actors and actresses just say the same thing? They can even use new sets. One chick flick can take place in uptown Manhattan starring Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Anniston and Diane Keaton does a cameo as the intrusive mother. The next can take place on the East Side starring Mandy Moore and John Favreau where Diane Keaton plays a bit part as an intrusive mother. Another could be shot in Midtown with Amanda Peet and Colin Firth. Diane Keaton plays an intrusive mother in a hilarious sequence. It’s quite diverse. No one will notice.
++++++++++++
Anyway, as a result of the dearth of movies, I went to the crappy pirated movies that my Dad gets from China. I never saw Ben Stiller’s “Night at the Museum”, so I gave it a shot. Horrible. Stupid. Predictable. The lameness of the translation from English to Chinese back to English simply magnified it. Stiller’s name was “Larry”, but it was constantly subtitled as “Carry a mile”, among other gaffes. The plot was pretty much what your average 6th grader could conjure up. The end? No! Not the end. They made a sequel. For the love of all that doesn’t wallow in stinking suckitude – WHY??
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The recent earthquake in Chile has shortened the rotation period of the Earth by 1.26 miliseconds. Now I will never get all my to-do list done today. On the other hand, we’ll live longer.
Remind me in 2032 to re-set my watch by ten seconds. Wait for Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve.
+++++++++++++++
My wife got “Good Luck Chuck” from Netflix. The premise is that the women who date Chuck and then break up with him get engaged to their next boyfriend. Sound dopey enough for you? Chuck must endure a series of girlfriends who are only looking to endure a few dates with him so they can get married. Sound sexist enough for you? The woman who eventually becomes Chuck’s fiancé is a penguin trainer. Sound contrived enough for you? The entire plot is revealed on the 4 sentence teaser on the DVD. Is there really any reason to watch?
I imagine that the climax comes with Chuck down on one knee with a ring, proposing to the girlfriend amidst a few dozen happy penguins. Yay. Oh if only the penguins were CGI.
+++++++++++++++++
I can’t believe some Republicans in Congress have been eulogizing the nut that crashed his plane into the IRS building in Texas. I agree with Scott Brown that no one likes paying taxes, but it’s the law, my friend. Not paying them is criminal. Is a suicidal murderer really the guy that the Reps want to sympathize with?
How crazy was this airplane guy? First, he complained about living in abject poverty, but obviously, he owned a plane. Second, he was complaining about tax law that went into effect in 1986. If you can’t make a living because of taxes, 24 years is more than enough time to find another income stream. The guy was seriously disturbed, and if it wasn’t taxes, he would have probably killed himself because he accidentally read the spoiler on the box of “Good Luck Chuck”.
+++++++++++++++
On the subject, something got mixed up on my Netflix queue and I missed a whole disk (4 episodes) of “Lost”. Oddly enough, they were still running around the jungle trying to get off the island in the least direct manner possible. I’ll watch the next season completely out of order and see if there’s any difference. Maybe I’ll go through each show with the rewind button on just to make it a challenge.
+++++++++++++++
The Texas A&M football team apparently stole all the copies of the student paper because they didn’t like the headline. Two of their team mates were arrested on drug charges. The coach said that he was proud. Even Worf on Star Trek would say “One cannot regain honor by acting dishonorably.” You should also read that in Worf’s booming bass vocal range with a twinge of Klingon anger. That would help.
++++++++++++++++
My kids are going to see a play of Mulan today. Something that always bugged me about the story was the father. Mulan took her father’s sword and horse and rode off to join the army against an evil and powerful foe. What did the dad do? Did he find his sword missing and just say “My daughter is taking my place to confront a vicious, ruthless enemy? If her army buddies find out that she’s a woman they’ll probably kill her, too. Oh well, I’ll just hang back here on the ranch and wait for her to save the day.” Father-of-the-Year material there.
+++++++++++++
I’m not sure I get it. The GOP is portraying various members of the Democratic party as cartoon characters. They made Nancy Pelosi into Cruella DeVil, but I thought that liberals were animal lovers.
Whatever they were trying for, I’m sure it was successful. Red meat donors lap that stuff up if it makes sense or not. Why bother with all that egghead stuff like “health care costs too much” when we can just draw funny pictures? Thinking is soooo haaarrd. Please don’t make us do it!
This is the picture: http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/documents/rncdocument030310.pdf
Without some idiot to explain what they were trying for, I’m at a loss to see how “Hope” or “Progress” can be convoluted into some kind of damnable sin. Bastardizing “American Gothic” seems counter to their beliefs, too. Doesn’t it represent good, old-timey, wholesome, mom & apple pie Americana?
I re-watched the Dark Knight to look for the Joker’s socialist politics. I didn’t find much. In fact, Bruce Wayne seems to be the give-to-the-poor altruist. I’m honestly not deliberately reading too far into this. I’m simply at a loss to get any meaning at all.
++++++++++++
Anyway, as a result of the dearth of movies, I went to the crappy pirated movies that my Dad gets from China. I never saw Ben Stiller’s “Night at the Museum”, so I gave it a shot. Horrible. Stupid. Predictable. The lameness of the translation from English to Chinese back to English simply magnified it. Stiller’s name was “Larry”, but it was constantly subtitled as “Carry a mile”, among other gaffes. The plot was pretty much what your average 6th grader could conjure up. The end? No! Not the end. They made a sequel. For the love of all that doesn’t wallow in stinking suckitude – WHY??
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The recent earthquake in Chile has shortened the rotation period of the Earth by 1.26 miliseconds. Now I will never get all my to-do list done today. On the other hand, we’ll live longer.
Remind me in 2032 to re-set my watch by ten seconds. Wait for Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve.
+++++++++++++++
My wife got “Good Luck Chuck” from Netflix. The premise is that the women who date Chuck and then break up with him get engaged to their next boyfriend. Sound dopey enough for you? Chuck must endure a series of girlfriends who are only looking to endure a few dates with him so they can get married. Sound sexist enough for you? The woman who eventually becomes Chuck’s fiancé is a penguin trainer. Sound contrived enough for you? The entire plot is revealed on the 4 sentence teaser on the DVD. Is there really any reason to watch?
I imagine that the climax comes with Chuck down on one knee with a ring, proposing to the girlfriend amidst a few dozen happy penguins. Yay. Oh if only the penguins were CGI.
+++++++++++++++++
I can’t believe some Republicans in Congress have been eulogizing the nut that crashed his plane into the IRS building in Texas. I agree with Scott Brown that no one likes paying taxes, but it’s the law, my friend. Not paying them is criminal. Is a suicidal murderer really the guy that the Reps want to sympathize with?
How crazy was this airplane guy? First, he complained about living in abject poverty, but obviously, he owned a plane. Second, he was complaining about tax law that went into effect in 1986. If you can’t make a living because of taxes, 24 years is more than enough time to find another income stream. The guy was seriously disturbed, and if it wasn’t taxes, he would have probably killed himself because he accidentally read the spoiler on the box of “Good Luck Chuck”.
+++++++++++++++
On the subject, something got mixed up on my Netflix queue and I missed a whole disk (4 episodes) of “Lost”. Oddly enough, they were still running around the jungle trying to get off the island in the least direct manner possible. I’ll watch the next season completely out of order and see if there’s any difference. Maybe I’ll go through each show with the rewind button on just to make it a challenge.
+++++++++++++++
The Texas A&M football team apparently stole all the copies of the student paper because they didn’t like the headline. Two of their team mates were arrested on drug charges. The coach said that he was proud. Even Worf on Star Trek would say “One cannot regain honor by acting dishonorably.” You should also read that in Worf’s booming bass vocal range with a twinge of Klingon anger. That would help.
++++++++++++++++
My kids are going to see a play of Mulan today. Something that always bugged me about the story was the father. Mulan took her father’s sword and horse and rode off to join the army against an evil and powerful foe. What did the dad do? Did he find his sword missing and just say “My daughter is taking my place to confront a vicious, ruthless enemy? If her army buddies find out that she’s a woman they’ll probably kill her, too. Oh well, I’ll just hang back here on the ranch and wait for her to save the day.” Father-of-the-Year material there.
+++++++++++++
I’m not sure I get it. The GOP is portraying various members of the Democratic party as cartoon characters. They made Nancy Pelosi into Cruella DeVil, but I thought that liberals were animal lovers.
Whatever they were trying for, I’m sure it was successful. Red meat donors lap that stuff up if it makes sense or not. Why bother with all that egghead stuff like “health care costs too much” when we can just draw funny pictures? Thinking is soooo haaarrd. Please don’t make us do it!
This is the picture: http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/documents/rncdocument030310.pdf
Without some idiot to explain what they were trying for, I’m at a loss to see how “Hope” or “Progress” can be convoluted into some kind of damnable sin. Bastardizing “American Gothic” seems counter to their beliefs, too. Doesn’t it represent good, old-timey, wholesome, mom & apple pie Americana?
I re-watched the Dark Knight to look for the Joker’s socialist politics. I didn’t find much. In fact, Bruce Wayne seems to be the give-to-the-poor altruist. I’m honestly not deliberately reading too far into this. I’m simply at a loss to get any meaning at all.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
No Garfield? No problem!
Mitch McConnell accused the Dems of being obstructionists until he found himself in the minority and became an obstructionist himself. I’m sure he’s got some uncovincing explanation on how its all the Dems fault, as is every other evil known to human kind, up to and including using the last cup of coffee in the senate break room and not starting a fresh pot.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Garfield is still on this kick where they think that being hell bent on being lazy and uninterested is somehow funny after 30 years. And it works! Yes! Ha ha ha ha! He’s lazy! A lazy cat! And he doesn’t even care! How funny! Tell me more ways that he’s lazy! He’s so cool because he doesn’t care! Haw haw!
We got a new comic called “Daddy’s Home”. Suburban dad with kids. I get the impression from the title that he’s either a stay at home dad or that he works from home. It’s not bad, it’s not good. What would really punch it up is if he had a talking cat. Especially one that was lazy.
Rex Morgan hasn’t seen a patient since 2006. He wrote a prescription and gave him a referral to a specialist. In that respect, he’s like a rock star who takes 36 months to put out 60 minutes of music, and it usually sucks anyway.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t know if you’ve ever followed the “24” saga. It’s pretty good, like an extended movie and less like a serial for TV. I’ll update you in the style of Joe Namath on “No Football? No Problem!” The action starts at midnight, and it’s nearly 6:30 AM, so just a little past the first quarter. But those bad guys have been playing a good game. They came in with a good plan and have been executing it well, taking the good guys by surprise almost every time. There’s about five separate but interwoven plot lines, and the bad guys are dominating in all aspects of the game in terms of body count and tactical advantage. Not to say that the good guys haven’t made some heroic stands. There was a small good guy victory on one play, but those gains were quickly erased due to that invaluable double agent on the bad guy side. The double agent is the odds-on favorite for game MVP. Not high profile, but very consistently crucial in the outcome of a wide range of plays both offensive and defensive. Until the good guys can get the bad guy out of their huddles, the bad guys will continue to lead. Coming in to half time, Coach Bauer really has to rally the troops and switch up his assignments on the good guy team, starting with figuring out who is actually on his team. He really hasn’t developed any formal strategy that is going to work against the ruthless and as-of-yet-unstoppable bad guys. But there’s still just under three quarters to play, and I’m sure we’ll see a good guy rally late in the 4th.
That’s one thing that always gets me about action movies. The good guys can make a hundred good moves and kill 50 bad guys, and still the sinister plan will still be accomplished if not for a last second extra effort and some luck on the part of the good guys. Using a football analogy, it would be as if the bad guys were in the 4th quarter with only one or two guys left on the field and were still not only keeping the lead but continuing to score touchdowns.
All those shouting bosses who want the action heroes to get off the case never bother to re-assign anything. They never say “You’re off the case. Go investigate this double homicide in the projects.” “You’re right, Captain. I should get off the e-Vil Corp case. It’s just based on wild hunches anyway. There are serious criminals in this town that need to be apprehended. Of course, I still harbor a deep suspicion that someone at e-Vil killed my partner.”
And, can’t one single sidekick ever, ever, EVER stay in the damn car when they’re told??? “I’m coming with you!”
“You’re staying in the car! That’s final!”
Yeah, right.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Garfield is still on this kick where they think that being hell bent on being lazy and uninterested is somehow funny after 30 years. And it works! Yes! Ha ha ha ha! He’s lazy! A lazy cat! And he doesn’t even care! How funny! Tell me more ways that he’s lazy! He’s so cool because he doesn’t care! Haw haw!
We got a new comic called “Daddy’s Home”. Suburban dad with kids. I get the impression from the title that he’s either a stay at home dad or that he works from home. It’s not bad, it’s not good. What would really punch it up is if he had a talking cat. Especially one that was lazy.
Rex Morgan hasn’t seen a patient since 2006. He wrote a prescription and gave him a referral to a specialist. In that respect, he’s like a rock star who takes 36 months to put out 60 minutes of music, and it usually sucks anyway.
+++++++++++++++++++++++
I don’t know if you’ve ever followed the “24” saga. It’s pretty good, like an extended movie and less like a serial for TV. I’ll update you in the style of Joe Namath on “No Football? No Problem!” The action starts at midnight, and it’s nearly 6:30 AM, so just a little past the first quarter. But those bad guys have been playing a good game. They came in with a good plan and have been executing it well, taking the good guys by surprise almost every time. There’s about five separate but interwoven plot lines, and the bad guys are dominating in all aspects of the game in terms of body count and tactical advantage. Not to say that the good guys haven’t made some heroic stands. There was a small good guy victory on one play, but those gains were quickly erased due to that invaluable double agent on the bad guy side. The double agent is the odds-on favorite for game MVP. Not high profile, but very consistently crucial in the outcome of a wide range of plays both offensive and defensive. Until the good guys can get the bad guy out of their huddles, the bad guys will continue to lead. Coming in to half time, Coach Bauer really has to rally the troops and switch up his assignments on the good guy team, starting with figuring out who is actually on his team. He really hasn’t developed any formal strategy that is going to work against the ruthless and as-of-yet-unstoppable bad guys. But there’s still just under three quarters to play, and I’m sure we’ll see a good guy rally late in the 4th.
That’s one thing that always gets me about action movies. The good guys can make a hundred good moves and kill 50 bad guys, and still the sinister plan will still be accomplished if not for a last second extra effort and some luck on the part of the good guys. Using a football analogy, it would be as if the bad guys were in the 4th quarter with only one or two guys left on the field and were still not only keeping the lead but continuing to score touchdowns.
All those shouting bosses who want the action heroes to get off the case never bother to re-assign anything. They never say “You’re off the case. Go investigate this double homicide in the projects.” “You’re right, Captain. I should get off the e-Vil Corp case. It’s just based on wild hunches anyway. There are serious criminals in this town that need to be apprehended. Of course, I still harbor a deep suspicion that someone at e-Vil killed my partner.”
And, can’t one single sidekick ever, ever, EVER stay in the damn car when they’re told??? “I’m coming with you!”
“You’re staying in the car! That’s final!”
Yeah, right.
Recycling hackneyed quips - but that's most of what's in this blog
I recently heard that old blather about how if men got pregnant, there would be free daycare and 12 weeks paid paternity leave. Yeah, well, men are supposedly in charge and you don’t get so much as one paid afternoon off if your alma mater makes it in to the Final Four. So, there goes the myth of male dominance in society.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I wish I received some monetary benefit from recycling. Supposedly, the recycle center makes a profit, which translates into a reduction in taxes. But my taxes are reduced as much as taxes for the jerkoff who doesn’t recycle. My county doesn’t recycle, they expect you to collect your stuff and drive it to their center, open only until 5pm. Some rare people, like me, do. Most don’t. That’s out of the way and a lot of effort for no discernable gain. As a result, paper, plastic bags, aluminum cans, all of that goes into the solid waste. I only do it because I just couldn’t stand living like a lazy chub in East Chuckaf+ck, KY.
I don’t have white guilt about the black condition. I don’t have male guilt about the female condition. But I do have some guilt about global warming, since it is something that I have contributed to, continue to contribute to and it is something where I can take action to reduce my effects on the environment if not eliminate them.
On that carbon footprint thing, those people who have laid claim to the Holy “carbon neutral” Grail usually do so through heavy use of the nebulous world of carbon offsets.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mitch McConnell is at it again. He’s bravely defending those poor, helpless campaign finance rules from reform of any kind. The “liberal attack machine” has forced poor Mitch to stoop to using the parliamentary rules as a weapon in support of his heroic crusade. He’s holding up confirmation hearings for four proposed members of the campaign finance committee. He insists that all four should be voted in as one block, and not on their individual merits. Confirming all four as if they were one person is inherently un-American, for it denies individuality. If a college coach wants to recruit a star high school player, he doesn’t have to give the star’s three flunky friends free scholarships as well. Confirmation as a block is a thinly veiled attempt to sneak in some stooges that would have no chance at being confirmed on their own.
LP Record players, dead. Phone booths gone. Good ‘ol boy politics – still alive and kicking down in the hollers of KY.
Oh, and “liberal attack machine” is a quote from a McConnell mailing that asked for money. The term appeared somewhere in the first line. When I hit that term, I chucked it unceremoniously in to the recycle bin, or I’d be regaling you with its other memorable quotes of unbridled ignorance.
+++++++++++++++++++++
I wish I received some monetary benefit from recycling. Supposedly, the recycle center makes a profit, which translates into a reduction in taxes. But my taxes are reduced as much as taxes for the jerkoff who doesn’t recycle. My county doesn’t recycle, they expect you to collect your stuff and drive it to their center, open only until 5pm. Some rare people, like me, do. Most don’t. That’s out of the way and a lot of effort for no discernable gain. As a result, paper, plastic bags, aluminum cans, all of that goes into the solid waste. I only do it because I just couldn’t stand living like a lazy chub in East Chuckaf+ck, KY.
I don’t have white guilt about the black condition. I don’t have male guilt about the female condition. But I do have some guilt about global warming, since it is something that I have contributed to, continue to contribute to and it is something where I can take action to reduce my effects on the environment if not eliminate them.
On that carbon footprint thing, those people who have laid claim to the Holy “carbon neutral” Grail usually do so through heavy use of the nebulous world of carbon offsets.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mitch McConnell is at it again. He’s bravely defending those poor, helpless campaign finance rules from reform of any kind. The “liberal attack machine” has forced poor Mitch to stoop to using the parliamentary rules as a weapon in support of his heroic crusade. He’s holding up confirmation hearings for four proposed members of the campaign finance committee. He insists that all four should be voted in as one block, and not on their individual merits. Confirming all four as if they were one person is inherently un-American, for it denies individuality. If a college coach wants to recruit a star high school player, he doesn’t have to give the star’s three flunky friends free scholarships as well. Confirmation as a block is a thinly veiled attempt to sneak in some stooges that would have no chance at being confirmed on their own.
LP Record players, dead. Phone booths gone. Good ‘ol boy politics – still alive and kicking down in the hollers of KY.
Oh, and “liberal attack machine” is a quote from a McConnell mailing that asked for money. The term appeared somewhere in the first line. When I hit that term, I chucked it unceremoniously in to the recycle bin, or I’d be regaling you with its other memorable quotes of unbridled ignorance.
Germany, China, Cheers, Superman and yet another swipe at Conservatives
Germany and China will eventually undergo a serious population problem in that they will have too few youngsters and too many oldsters. Germany has a lifetime birth rate of only 1.3 children per woman. China regulates children per family and has 1.6 kids per woman. Italy and Japan also have population trouble like that. I don’t know how they project populations based on how many children will result from parents that haven’t been born yet, but they do.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The week “Cheers” debuted, it ranked dead last in the network ratings. It’s a miracle why it wasn’t cancelled right away. I’d like to imagine an alternative universe where it was cancelled. Having no acting career, George Wendt started a foundation to feed all of Africa. The tragedy of Iraq was circumvented and cancer was cured. “Cheers” was a curse in the disguise of a blessing. Damn you, Sam Malone!
++++++++++++++++++++
I’m getting sick of these politicians who took credit when things went well, and then insist that the free market must correct itself when things go badly.
The Republicans took credit when the percentage of Americans who are home owners were at historic highs; and now say two years later how wrong it was for the banks to have lent mortgage money to high-risk people.
Are those who do not remember history doomed to repeat it? And those that do not study claptrap pedestrian proverbs may miss out on the fact that they are occasionally true - including the one you get saying “Help! I’m a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!” That one always had such deep meaning for me. Because, aren’t we all really just prisoners in this great, big fortune cookie factory on Earth? Have I digressed again?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I watched the animated movie Superman Requiem and Resurrection. It was ok, but I thought it would be bigger budget than it was. The art looked rather cartoony, Louis Lane in particular. Superman himself had some weird facial lines – old age? Louis looked about 23 and constantly wore skirts so short and tight that Allie McBeal would blush. There was a lot of death and even a little vomit. The action was pretty good, but I would have liked the plot to have been a little deeper than this unkillable ogre shows up and Superman is called in to fight. I wish there could have been some kind of reprise in the fighting, like the Doomsday guy would have to break off the attack to go grab a cow to eat for lunch. Then there could be some kind of “what’s its weakness?” discussion. I’m all for action, but a slugfest without meaning leaves an audience uncaring about who wins.
But the reason I brought up Superman was that yet again the evildoer, Lex Luthor, killed his #2. She didn’t even deserve it. She did exactly what he asked. He eliminated her to cover his trail that one extra step. Clearly, LexCorp is not winning awards on “Best Places to work in Metropolis”.
I won’t give away too much, but as the title “Requiem and Resurrection” implies, he’s killed then reborn. The rebirth is quasi-preposterous, but really, no more so than the entire Superman opus.
Superman is all for the betterment of mankind and all of that. He’s shown as trying to find cures for cancer in his spare time. But he’s got a sentient robot as his sidekick. Don’t you think that if you allowed sentient robots to be mass-marketed, that the economic boost would keep people from having to engage in criminal behavior?
I never liked Superman. He was strong, sure. Great force for good, yeah, yeah. Where’s the dilemma? What kind of bravery does it take to stare down the barrel of a gun knowing full well that bullets are less of a nuisance than a water droplet? Look at Spiderman, who tries to live a normal personal life against the demands of being a superhero. Look at Batman and his tortured soul and circumspect treatment of criminals. The Green Arrow was a cad, even that’s more interesting than Superman’s monogamous lily white wedding. The courtship of Louis Lane took 60 years, and she couldn’t even recognize him with a pair of glasses on. There is never, ever a moment when the reader says “Oh crap! What’s he going to do now?”
Well, that is, until he got killed.
But, on the other hand, he was resurrected, too.
The coolest thing about the Requiem and Resurrection? The image of the iconic red cape, torn and charred hanging flag-like from a piece of wreckage, then swept away with the wind. When this story was presented on paper, that issue was presented with 5 or 6 different varieties of cover art. The one with the cape outsold the others by a huge margin. If only Star Trek’s perennially doomed Ensign Leibowitz got that kind of eulogy. A torn and charred red shirt hanging from a twisted piece of metal with sad music would be appropriate. Instead he gets a brief diagnosis: “He’s dead, Jim.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The week “Cheers” debuted, it ranked dead last in the network ratings. It’s a miracle why it wasn’t cancelled right away. I’d like to imagine an alternative universe where it was cancelled. Having no acting career, George Wendt started a foundation to feed all of Africa. The tragedy of Iraq was circumvented and cancer was cured. “Cheers” was a curse in the disguise of a blessing. Damn you, Sam Malone!
++++++++++++++++++++
I’m getting sick of these politicians who took credit when things went well, and then insist that the free market must correct itself when things go badly.
The Republicans took credit when the percentage of Americans who are home owners were at historic highs; and now say two years later how wrong it was for the banks to have lent mortgage money to high-risk people.
Are those who do not remember history doomed to repeat it? And those that do not study claptrap pedestrian proverbs may miss out on the fact that they are occasionally true - including the one you get saying “Help! I’m a prisoner in a fortune cookie factory!” That one always had such deep meaning for me. Because, aren’t we all really just prisoners in this great, big fortune cookie factory on Earth? Have I digressed again?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I watched the animated movie Superman Requiem and Resurrection. It was ok, but I thought it would be bigger budget than it was. The art looked rather cartoony, Louis Lane in particular. Superman himself had some weird facial lines – old age? Louis looked about 23 and constantly wore skirts so short and tight that Allie McBeal would blush. There was a lot of death and even a little vomit. The action was pretty good, but I would have liked the plot to have been a little deeper than this unkillable ogre shows up and Superman is called in to fight. I wish there could have been some kind of reprise in the fighting, like the Doomsday guy would have to break off the attack to go grab a cow to eat for lunch. Then there could be some kind of “what’s its weakness?” discussion. I’m all for action, but a slugfest without meaning leaves an audience uncaring about who wins.
But the reason I brought up Superman was that yet again the evildoer, Lex Luthor, killed his #2. She didn’t even deserve it. She did exactly what he asked. He eliminated her to cover his trail that one extra step. Clearly, LexCorp is not winning awards on “Best Places to work in Metropolis”.
I won’t give away too much, but as the title “Requiem and Resurrection” implies, he’s killed then reborn. The rebirth is quasi-preposterous, but really, no more so than the entire Superman opus.
Superman is all for the betterment of mankind and all of that. He’s shown as trying to find cures for cancer in his spare time. But he’s got a sentient robot as his sidekick. Don’t you think that if you allowed sentient robots to be mass-marketed, that the economic boost would keep people from having to engage in criminal behavior?
I never liked Superman. He was strong, sure. Great force for good, yeah, yeah. Where’s the dilemma? What kind of bravery does it take to stare down the barrel of a gun knowing full well that bullets are less of a nuisance than a water droplet? Look at Spiderman, who tries to live a normal personal life against the demands of being a superhero. Look at Batman and his tortured soul and circumspect treatment of criminals. The Green Arrow was a cad, even that’s more interesting than Superman’s monogamous lily white wedding. The courtship of Louis Lane took 60 years, and she couldn’t even recognize him with a pair of glasses on. There is never, ever a moment when the reader says “Oh crap! What’s he going to do now?”
Well, that is, until he got killed.
But, on the other hand, he was resurrected, too.
The coolest thing about the Requiem and Resurrection? The image of the iconic red cape, torn and charred hanging flag-like from a piece of wreckage, then swept away with the wind. When this story was presented on paper, that issue was presented with 5 or 6 different varieties of cover art. The one with the cape outsold the others by a huge margin. If only Star Trek’s perennially doomed Ensign Leibowitz got that kind of eulogy. A torn and charred red shirt hanging from a twisted piece of metal with sad music would be appropriate. Instead he gets a brief diagnosis: “He’s dead, Jim.”
Kentucky politics
Why are the Republicans so concerned about the morality of casino gambling when they come from a state that makes its bread and butter off of horse racing and bourbon? It’s not like the casinos would compete with the horse tracks. The horse tracks would be the casinos. And 65% of Kentuckians are in favor. So what’s the hold-up, Republicans?
It’s just like the Rep take on guns. Republicans are anti-crime, but they make sure that guns are available to anyone who wants one. The Reps are all against governmental interference with how someone uses their own money, just as long as it’s not being used in a casino.
The KY Reps are trying to play the morality angle. But they never say diddley about casinos in other states. There are casinos just over the Kentucky River in Indiana. Why aren’t they sitting on the bridge with picket signs?
The funny thing about Mitch McConnell is that despite all his fund-raising prowess, he never struck me as the least bit charismatic. He’s rather clunky, old and dorky. He’s not dumb enough to call “folksy”, not smart enough to call “intellectual”. He’s never displayed any humor or wit, never displayed generosity that rises to the level of magnanimous, and never gave a stirring speech that roused an audience to its feet. When I hear him I disagree, but not to where I’m enraged, such as when Limbaugh or some other idiot presents some irrational partisan rhetoric. In the rare case that do I agree with McConnell, I’m never even moved enough to think “good point.” He raised three hundred million dollars for the RNC. How do you do that when you’re utterly bereft of personality? How do you get elected in the first place? Is reciting the Republican talking points verbatim that all it takes to make it in DC? I’ll be a mouthpiece for either political party if I could land a senate seat for life.
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The Republicans used to be lockstep. Now I can't figure out what the hell they supposedly want. Bobby Jindal was out criticizing Obama for being too much big government, now he says Obama is not doing enough to mop up the oil spill in the Gulf. Sarah "Drill, Baby Drill" Palin says Obama has too many ties to the oil industry. Rand Paul says that Obama is un-American because he's enforcing a legal contract that BP signed and making BP clean up the mess like they said that they would. All for limited government, except if you need big government to bail your ass out. I'm thinking they need to consult a dictionary and look up the word "contradiction".
It’s just like the Rep take on guns. Republicans are anti-crime, but they make sure that guns are available to anyone who wants one. The Reps are all against governmental interference with how someone uses their own money, just as long as it’s not being used in a casino.
The KY Reps are trying to play the morality angle. But they never say diddley about casinos in other states. There are casinos just over the Kentucky River in Indiana. Why aren’t they sitting on the bridge with picket signs?
The funny thing about Mitch McConnell is that despite all his fund-raising prowess, he never struck me as the least bit charismatic. He’s rather clunky, old and dorky. He’s not dumb enough to call “folksy”, not smart enough to call “intellectual”. He’s never displayed any humor or wit, never displayed generosity that rises to the level of magnanimous, and never gave a stirring speech that roused an audience to its feet. When I hear him I disagree, but not to where I’m enraged, such as when Limbaugh or some other idiot presents some irrational partisan rhetoric. In the rare case that do I agree with McConnell, I’m never even moved enough to think “good point.” He raised three hundred million dollars for the RNC. How do you do that when you’re utterly bereft of personality? How do you get elected in the first place? Is reciting the Republican talking points verbatim that all it takes to make it in DC? I’ll be a mouthpiece for either political party if I could land a senate seat for life.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Republicans used to be lockstep. Now I can't figure out what the hell they supposedly want. Bobby Jindal was out criticizing Obama for being too much big government, now he says Obama is not doing enough to mop up the oil spill in the Gulf. Sarah "Drill, Baby Drill" Palin says Obama has too many ties to the oil industry. Rand Paul says that Obama is un-American because he's enforcing a legal contract that BP signed and making BP clean up the mess like they said that they would. All for limited government, except if you need big government to bail your ass out. I'm thinking they need to consult a dictionary and look up the word "contradiction".
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Thinker 2: The Electric Boogaloo
Barack Obama: Conservative hero
. .....
Obama tripled the number of troops in Afghanistan, cut taxes, supported new nuclear reactors, signed an executive order that upholds the restriction on federal funds for abortions and now is opening up the eastern seaboard to oil companies. So why all the partisan bickering? Because it’s fun to superimpose his face over the Joker’s, that’s why! Ha ha! Hilarious!
If I were a staunch liberal, I’d superimpose Obama’s face on Two-Face about now.
If McCain had won, would the fringe left wing be photoshopping his face over Ziggy?
How not to be leered at like a plate of spaghetti
I don’t drink alcohol or eat candy or desserts when I am in training. “I’m in training” is the manly way to turn down a drink or a piece of chocolate cake, by the way. “I’m on a diet” makes all the guys around you look at you as if you’re wearing a frilly pink taffeta dress – and not in the same way that they would look at a woman wearing a frilly, pink dress, either.
Anyway, I’m restricted to getting my calories from a limited number of healthy food items. I have a hard time not overeating those things, though. I love a big pot of whole grain pasta. I gulp that stuff down by the pound. If I were in Jamaica, I’d be a pastafarian. If I were a nut, I’d be a pasta-chio. If I were a terminator, I’d say “Pasta la vista, baby!” Ok, that’s it with the puns. They’re past-a their prime (sorry!).
...........
GOP: Proactive, not active!
.
Mitch McConnell announced this morning that the Senate Republicans were unanimously in opposition to Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, calling the pick “An irresponsible choice. Mr. Obama has decided to select an activist judge who will rule on ideological grounds rather than respect the rule of law.” Tom Coburn stated that he felt that the nominee was clearly unqualified. Conservatives on the judicial committee also remarked that “Mr. Obama’s pick clearly does not understand or value Supreme Court precedent and previous federal court rulings, except in cases where overturning a hundred years or so of them will benefit the Republican party.” Mr. Obama responded to the critiques with “What nominee? I’m not picking anyone until next week at least.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.
The bitter end
.
One upshot of the new health care regs is that women can’t be charged more than men. The rationale is that being a woman is not a choice, so it is a form of discrimination. So if we only priced insurance based on preventable factors, we wouldn’t set rates based on age, since no one can stop time. We’d base the rates on body mass index (BMI), alcohol consumption, blood pressure and other health related metrics. I’m cool with that, but millions of people who assure me that they are just “big boned” may find that system to be discriminatory, too.
.....
I find it discriminatory that I (as a fit male) have to pay for fat, smoking women, though I use the service so much less frequently. Just for that, I plan to die a long, slow debilitating death that consumes huge resources to keep me going for decades. Picture me angrily waving my cane from my hospital bed when I’m 110 years old and strung up with more tubes and wires than a marionette. I shall rage, rage against the dying of the light! I will NOT go gently into that good night, Sonny Boy!
...........
Sarah Palin, gift from God to snark writers everywhere
.........
It just occurred to me that I could write a blog exclusively about Sarah Palin and never ever run low on material. To paraphrase Dave Barry, wouldn’t “Sarah Palin & the Wingnuts” be a great name for a 70’s tribute band? 1770’s, that is.
.........
Palin’s new gaffe is that her Fox News show is trying to prove that Tea Party kooks aren’t racist. They showed clips of upcoming interviews and (gasp) – LL Cool J? Turns out that LL gave the interview with someone else in 2008, and Fox is (another gasp) playing fast & loose with the truth.
.........
Ok, I shouldn’t blame Palin on this one. It was a decision of the network suits. When LL called them on this stunt (and did they think that he wouldn’t?), they said “We are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career." Oh snap! You got dissed, bro!
..........
Since LL has been acting longer than Fox News has existed, I wanted him to return the best of wishes for Fox’s fledgling news channel, but he instead said some cliché thing about how only you can bring peace to yourself.
........
Heroes Season 3: A Kinder and Gentler Super Psycho Villain
.........
I’m watching Heroes for the third season, and I’m usually pretty good at following things through turn-on-a-dime-bizarre-plot-twists, but they’re losing me. They’re jumping around it time and space trying to save the world somehow from some unknown threat. The 4-years-in-the-future people are clearly not operating on the same rule system as the present-day people. The goody-two-shoes cheerleader is now a cold blooded assassin. On the other hand, ex-evil-Sylar, who was the penultimate killing machine in Season 1 is now a laid back, sweater-wearing, doting father. I hope he used his telekinetic ability to change diapers. I certainly would have.
.........
I know what they really need to do: Introduce another eight or ten characters with new wacky powers. Yeah, that would really clear things up.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
........
And in an alternate Universe, “Garfield” is funny once in a while
...........
Someplace, in an alternate reality, Auguste Rodin creates a sculpture of a seated man with a knitted brow in 1880. But in this reality, the man is on the latrine and the sculpture is titled “The Stinker”. World history is largely the same there, aside from that they have world peace, a cure for most cancers and cheap, clean energy.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.........
When two similar things happen it always heralds a new trend
..........
They’re doing big budget remakes of Tron and Clash of the Titans. So what early 80s dud will be remade next, I wonder? I’m going to cash in my 401K to buy the rights to the Police Academy series. No, wait, Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: The Electric Boogaloo. They’re ripe. I can feel it.
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