Reviews: Book that you will never read and music you will never listen to

I listened to Kate Bush's CD "Aerial", in which she sings passionately about her washing machine and also sings the number Pi out to 112 decimal places. Take that, Weird Al Yankovic! Kate Bush is impervious to your sophmoric parodies. Ha!

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So I wanted to read something upscale, Like William Faulkner. I also read the entire Bible and the entire US Constitution and Amendments. Why? To wave around in other people's faces, really. You'd be surprised how infrequently the occasion arises and I gain credibility even less often than that. So I chose the shortest of Faulkner's novels, which was "As I Lay Dying". The story is conveyed as a series of narratives, each 2-3 pages long, from various characters in the action. It's a given that every time I start, I'm interrupted by kids or wife or phone or doorbell, so I thought that it would be a good fit for my lifestyle.

So far, this is my 11th attempt to read, and I finished about 5 of these mini-testimonies. So far I gather that there's this lady and she's dying.

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I finally got the time in to read "As I Lay Dying". Not much happens throughout the whole novel. Not much happens. If it were not told from multiple, rapidly changing perspectives, it would be impossibly dull. With this literary gimmick, it is still dull, just dull within the realm of the physically possible.

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Celtic Woman is coming to Lexington. Woo hoo. They're a band. It's not one woman, it's like 4-6 women, like "The Lone Rangers". I got thier 2009 "Best-of" disc from the library. Their discography is a debut CD, the obligatory Christmas CD and their Greatest Hits. How much are they really adding to the cumulative musical lexicon by adding yet another rendition of "Oh Danny Boy"? Anyway, the same picture of the Celtic Woman is on the cover of all their CDs, but not in the photos of the actual singers. Why is that?

At least Celtic Woman sings Celtic songs, unlike Celtic Thunder, that doesn't (and isn't thunderous, either). Do all Celtic vocal acts need the name "Celtic" in their name to announce their musical style? I don't know. Go ask Metallica.

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