Coal is like Bob Saget's colon.

So who’s going to inherit outgoing senator Bunning’s seat? Rand Paul kicked up a kerfuffle against his Republican challenger to see who was a better friend to the coal industry. While most politicians try to avoid being seen as a tool for lobbyists, here in Kentucky, the Republican candidates knock themselves over to demonstrate their shill-fullness. Not that we’re backwards or anything.

It started when Greyson said that he supported nuclear power. Ha. How very French of him.

I know Kentucky is a coal-loving state, but we’re also supposed to be a horse-loving state, too. Yet, a lot more people make a living from auto manufacturing than the equine industry. Nuclear power won’t eliminate coal for the next century at least.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have a lot of negative things to say about Coach Calipari’s paycheck, and so do a lot of Kentuckians. But given the drop-off of opinions in the paper complaining about it, no one disagrees that he delivered the goods last season. Next season with a whole new team, it’s anyone’s guess.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sometimes when I get bored, I compare and contrast the six seasons of “Lost” with the classic movie “The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island”. It’s deep in its varied characters and metaphorical imagery. So is “Lost”.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I’m reading Steven King’s seven volume series on the Dark Tower. He considers it his magnum opus of his extensive body of work. There are cult fans, I’m sure, that divine the Zen of the Universe through its multi-faceted themes. I find it an awkward ballet of cacophony. True, it takes a master storyteller to pull together a western/sci-fi/fantasy/horror/psychological thriller and make it coherent for one book, let alone seven. Still, I wish it was more focused than cowboys, robots, wizards, spirits, time travel, parallel realities, mind reading, a cameo by Steven King as himself and a wild ride on Blaine the insane train.

There aren’t any ghosts. Maybe if he threw in some ghosts everything would clear up.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I read a nice graphic novel called “Grandville”. Grandville is really Paris, set in some weird reality where people have animal heads. That’s ok enough for mammals, but the fish heads made me wonder how they could be breathing air. But the artwork was great, and the story was cool enough, though it was borrowed from Watchmen, which was heavily influenced by Lathe of Heaven, which took material from an Outer Limits episode. Aside from that, it’s a decent read.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

So the Supreme Court is diverse. The justices come from both Harvard or Yale. They also come from two places. NYC and other-places-that-are-not-NYC-but-wish-they-were. 6 Catholics, 3 Jews, 0 Protestants.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

I went to a Wellness Expo that featured a walk-through inflatable colon. If that doesn’t bring out the masses, I don’t know what will.

I walked halfway through the colon, and I felt pooped. “Aw, shit,” I said. “This stinks.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Heinz ketchup is changing its formula to lower its sodium. Some old woman complained (before she even tasted the new formula). “I’m 80 and I’m not dead.” Look, if your dander gets up from a minor change in your ketchup, your world must have been absolutely rocked when they tinkered with Coke.

++++++++++++++++++++++++
People routinely gripe about how new technology usurps their humanity. I’m pretty much in favor of using new inventions to solve a problem. I do, however, draw the line at the scourge of humanity, the sitcom laugh track.

If no one thinks its funny without some mechanical gurgling sound that approximates human laughter, then re-write your stupid script. If laugh tracks are so great, then why don’t they use them in the movies? Was Bugs Bunny not funny because there was no laugh track? The Simpsons?

I’m watching Sports Night, Aaron Sorokin’s early work before West Wing. The laugh track ruins everything. His trademark is this witty repartee, but on the show it ends with this annoying chortle-like noise coming from nowhere on screen. Maybe they should have just run it continuously so you could hear vaguely-laughter-like sound throughout the show and think that every second was chock full of raw humor. It would have been the best show ever. Or at least it would have lasted as many seasons as Full House with Bob Saget.