Dishonor in Texas

I have Netflix, but my wife loads up the queue with her chick flicks. When I ask how they were, she always says “Eh, ok.” Why can’t she just watch the same one repeatedly and arrive at the same review? For that matter, why do they bother to write new scripts? Can’t they have the different actors and actresses just say the same thing? They can even use new sets. One chick flick can take place in uptown Manhattan starring Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Anniston and Diane Keaton does a cameo as the intrusive mother. The next can take place on the East Side starring Mandy Moore and John Favreau where Diane Keaton plays a bit part as an intrusive mother. Another could be shot in Midtown with Amanda Peet and Colin Firth. Diane Keaton plays an intrusive mother in a hilarious sequence. It’s quite diverse. No one will notice.

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Anyway, as a result of the dearth of movies, I went to the crappy pirated movies that my Dad gets from China. I never saw Ben Stiller’s “Night at the Museum”, so I gave it a shot. Horrible. Stupid. Predictable. The lameness of the translation from English to Chinese back to English simply magnified it. Stiller’s name was “Larry”, but it was constantly subtitled as “Carry a mile”, among other gaffes. The plot was pretty much what your average 6th grader could conjure up. The end? No! Not the end. They made a sequel. For the love of all that doesn’t wallow in stinking suckitude – WHY??
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The recent earthquake in Chile has shortened the rotation period of the Earth by 1.26 miliseconds. Now I will never get all my to-do list done today. On the other hand, we’ll live longer.

Remind me in 2032 to re-set my watch by ten seconds. Wait for Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve.
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My wife got “Good Luck Chuck” from Netflix. The premise is that the women who date Chuck and then break up with him get engaged to their next boyfriend. Sound dopey enough for you? Chuck must endure a series of girlfriends who are only looking to endure a few dates with him so they can get married. Sound sexist enough for you? The woman who eventually becomes Chuck’s fiancé is a penguin trainer. Sound contrived enough for you? The entire plot is revealed on the 4 sentence teaser on the DVD. Is there really any reason to watch?

I imagine that the climax comes with Chuck down on one knee with a ring, proposing to the girlfriend amidst a few dozen happy penguins. Yay. Oh if only the penguins were CGI.
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I can’t believe some Republicans in Congress have been eulogizing the nut that crashed his plane into the IRS building in Texas. I agree with Scott Brown that no one likes paying taxes, but it’s the law, my friend. Not paying them is criminal. Is a suicidal murderer really the guy that the Reps want to sympathize with?

How crazy was this airplane guy? First, he complained about living in abject poverty, but obviously, he owned a plane. Second, he was complaining about tax law that went into effect in 1986. If you can’t make a living because of taxes, 24 years is more than enough time to find another income stream. The guy was seriously disturbed, and if it wasn’t taxes, he would have probably killed himself because he accidentally read the spoiler on the box of “Good Luck Chuck”.
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On the subject, something got mixed up on my Netflix queue and I missed a whole disk (4 episodes) of “Lost”. Oddly enough, they were still running around the jungle trying to get off the island in the least direct manner possible. I’ll watch the next season completely out of order and see if there’s any difference. Maybe I’ll go through each show with the rewind button on just to make it a challenge.
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The Texas A&M football team apparently stole all the copies of the student paper because they didn’t like the headline. Two of their team mates were arrested on drug charges. The coach said that he was proud. Even Worf on Star Trek would say “One cannot regain honor by acting dishonorably.” You should also read that in Worf’s booming bass vocal range with a twinge of Klingon anger. That would help.
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My kids are going to see a play of Mulan today. Something that always bugged me about the story was the father. Mulan took her father’s sword and horse and rode off to join the army against an evil and powerful foe. What did the dad do? Did he find his sword missing and just say “My daughter is taking my place to confront a vicious, ruthless enemy? If her army buddies find out that she’s a woman they’ll probably kill her, too. Oh well, I’ll just hang back here on the ranch and wait for her to save the day.” Father-of-the-Year material there.

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I’m not sure I get it. The GOP is portraying various members of the Democratic party as cartoon characters. They made Nancy Pelosi into Cruella DeVil, but I thought that liberals were animal lovers.

Whatever they were trying for, I’m sure it was successful. Red meat donors lap that stuff up if it makes sense or not. Why bother with all that egghead stuff like “health care costs too much” when we can just draw funny pictures? Thinking is soooo haaarrd. Please don’t make us do it!

This is the picture: http://media.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/documents/rncdocument030310.pdf
Without some idiot to explain what they were trying for, I’m at a loss to see how “Hope” or “Progress” can be convoluted into some kind of damnable sin. Bastardizing “American Gothic” seems counter to their beliefs, too. Doesn’t it represent good, old-timey, wholesome, mom & apple pie Americana?

I re-watched the Dark Knight to look for the Joker’s socialist politics. I didn’t find much. In fact, Bruce Wayne seems to be the give-to-the-poor altruist. I’m honestly not deliberately reading too far into this. I’m simply at a loss to get any meaning at all.