Bionic blogging - think about it

They brought back the Bionic Woman to TV. I’d like to bring back the $6 Million Dollar Man. But for $6 million these days, you won’t get all that bionic stuff. Instead of an arm, you’d get probably just a few fingers. And, instead of a leg, you’d have maybe three toes. His extraordinary powers would be limited to flipping channels on TV – but instead of the regular flip-flip-flip, he could go flipipipipipip! My old housemate would be amazed. The bionic man would use his toes to bounce his leg while watching the one hundred eighty channels scroll by in under a minute. But he’s got bionic toes, so he’d bounce so fast that the whole building would shake. Week after week, there would be contrived plot devices that could put the bionic dude’s legendary powers to the greater good of humankind. Although he can zip his mouse around at near supersonic speed, the Bionic Man’s arch nemesis will diabolically swap out his broadband for a dial up. Then our hero would have to wait for internet pages to slowly download in between his lightning fast clicks! Oh my gosh! Cut to a commercial!