Sunday, March 21, 2010

I’ve been watching Harry Potter movies lately. Every year, some professor arrives and turns out to be rooting for Team Voldemort. Hogwart’s really needs to start background checks on new hires.

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Fashion mags are repetitive. How many make-up breakthroughs can there possibly be? We’re not talking about rocket surgery, where there are breakthroughs every few months. I wish that a fashion magazine editor would one day put out a final issue because it has the ultimate to say about hair, makeup and diet. “Well, that’s it! We’ve given all of the advice that there is.”

Diets can usually be summed up with “Eat less, Tubby!” There’s always a new quiz to find out if he’s loyal, he’s cheating, if you’re a bad friend or if you are more cluttered and disorganized than your peers. If you have to ask, I’m thinking the answer is probably “yes”.
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As soon as a football team loses enough to make it mathematically impossible for that team to make it to the playoffs, you should abandon them high & dry. Don’t go to the game. Don’t watch it on TV. Don’t talk about it at work. If you see anyone wearing the jersey, it’s a sign on their back that says “Give me a wedgie!”

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