From an acorn comes a mighty oak. From CORNNY comes popcorn.

I got some chain email from a Republican friend that accused Obama and all Democrats of deliberately trying to destroy America so they could make Americans more dependent on government. But if they collapse the government, how the hell can anyone depend on it? And isn’t total destruction of the Federal Government the principal aim of Conservatives? Strangle it in a bathtub or something?

Obama should be impeached on the grounds that he is guilty of being President while Democrat.

Included in this vast conspiracy was the accusation that ACORN was the principal motivator behind the financial meltdown. If ACORN did half of what they’re accused of I’d be in total awe.

Acorn has an annual budget between $25-40 million and only a fraction comes from tax dollars. What a bang for the buck, ACORN! PACs with ten times as much funding can’t make or break Presidents the way ACORN can. With a budget of a few million, they swindled Wall Street for a few trillion – and they pimp on the side, too! Yes, they are the single most powerful entity in the world today. Oh if only they were a force for good instead of evil! Thank God that we have the Republicans to protect us.

Truth be told, I’m no fan of ACORN. Even without the pimping and embezzlement scandals and allegations of voter fraud, I find those organizations to be at best ineffectual. At worst, a drain on resources that could be better used elsewhere.

But every conservative tirade on ACORN always includes the fact that they register voters from low income areas, who reliably vote Democrat. This is a lesser crime than Mr. Obama’s, but Voting while Liberal is still a class D misdemeanor in these parts. Or it ought to be, just like noodling.

I’m going to create an anti-ACORN group. Conservatives Out for Revenge in November Next Year. CORNNY. I’m going to fraudulently register and re-register and re-re-register (in case they hadn’t been gistered enough the first couple of times) voters from rural farm communities in the south. The generous spigots of conservative money will flow in like a mighty river. If any pimps come to me for help, I’m going to tell them to get the hell out of there. If any power mad politicians come asking how they can skirt the Constitution, I’ll provide free pseudo-legal advice courtesy of Alberto Gonzoles. Instead of bankrupting major Wall St. and International banking firms, I’m going to set my sights on bankrupting poor, slovenly illegal immigrants. I don’t know if that would be easier or harder, being as they’re pretty much wiped out anyway. Then, I’m going to methodically embezzle every damn cent I can lay my hands on and skip town. I’ll keep that part of the ACORN legacy alive.