A shmorgasboard of short takes

Republicans claim that Pelosi is “backing down to liberals in her party”. She is a liberal in her party. She’s backing down to herself?
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A lot of people get black toenails from running. My wife likes to check up on them in a way that’s weird and a little creepy. I wonder if she keeps a chart somewhere that tracks how many are black so she can report them on CNBC.
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I hear all about the great deals you can get on hotels in this economy, but then I go to find some in the town that I’m actually going to at the time that I’m going to be there, and I don’t see any of these alleged deals. Bah, the economy is great, and that sucks.

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Sometimes I get mad at myself. Then I stop talking to myself. And then there are the mistrustful sideways glances as I pass myself in the hallway and awkward silences in the car – because, you know, I carpool with myself, too. Eventually, there is a real heart-to-heart, tearful reconciliation, etc. But there’s that lingering self-doubt that nags me.
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Speaking of doubt, I saw the Merrill Streep movie “Doubt”. There was no background music. Anyone who bought the soundtrack got ripped off.

I thought that my wife enjoy “Doubt”, but her only comment was that Streep filmed it right after Mama Mia. So she went from playing someone much younger than she really is to playing someone that is her real age. That talent is what I call “acting”. Yet, she was more insightful than my observation about the suckers who plunked down $15.99 for a CD featuring 74 minutes of tape hiss.

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We saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince”, in which Harry finds an old text book of spells that guarantees him academic excellence and success in defeating his arch nemesis Voldemort. So obviously, Harry decides to get rid of it. Although it would save his life and the world from evil, apparently gray-area cheating in a magic potion class is by far the worse crime.

The book belongs to “The Half Blood Prince”, which plays no part in the plot, save the fact that no one knows who this person is. Then at the end “Oh, by the way, I’m the Half Blood Prince”. Ta-da!

So in the final chapter, do we find out what the hell happened to Voldemort’s nose, or what?

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I keep up my physique, but my clothes make me look frumpy. Yes, I really am too sexy for my shirt. So I went out with the wife to get new threads. I still think they make me look like a sack of potatoes. So there’s really no help, except wearing spandex like a superhero. It is a crime to keep my chiseled bod under wraps.

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I saw Glen Beck’s book. He’s dressed in some kind of Soviet officer’s outfit. I’d think it was a spoof, but I checked, and that’s his real book. Wow. Like most conservative blowhards, he never actually served in the military, so he may have no idea what a US uniform looks like. He’s also a divorced former drug addict/alcoholic – traits that also seem helpful if you’re a conservative talking head.

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So there I am in Denver, and every 2 blocks or so, you get accosted by someone from an organization that supports the homeless. In the in-between blocks, you get accosted by an actual homeless person requesting your assistance directly. What do I look like, a freakin’ ATM to them?

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On Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, he changed into a werewolf, but then started dancing with zombies. What’s up with that?