CDs, CGI, CSI, GI Punk and lots more!

So here I am, working at the state. In contrast to private enterprise, we work together as one. That is to say, the entire department has the output of a single individual.

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As a result of voyaging into the library CD collection, I heard the Rush CD “Feedback”. I’m not used to a CD in this day and age that is only 27 minutes long. But on the plus side, I didn’t have to pay for it.

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A colleague is turning 60, and my co-workers put up a big banner that says “Over The Hill”. It’s a trite joke at 40. I think when you’re around at 60, it’s sort of cruel.

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On election day 2008 my politically ignorant neighbor woman said that she voted against Obama because he would do all sorts of pro-abortion things. It’s already legal, so I’m not sure what else would happen. Anyway, it’s all about abortion to her. So today I read that more young people are pro-life than a year ago. I also read that there were more teen abortions in 2006 than in previous years. So once the nation’s youth makes up their minds, I’m sure it will be Obama’s fault one way or the other.

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In a marathon, I don’t feel like I hit “the wall”. If I were to coin a term, I’d call it “sandbagged”. I feel like I’m gradually filling up with sand, and 3 miles from the finish, those bags are getting really heavy.

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Today, I had the perfect park. It was sweet. I called out my friends and colleagues to come out and see. It wasn’t an easy lot-park, either. It was the tough stuff. The dreaded parallel park, you know. It was so well-done that people walking by took notice and started asking questions. Yeah, it was a back-in. Those people who go front-first into a parking space are really just trying to show off, and you can always tell that by the quality of the end result. I measured to make sure that the space between my car and the car in front was exactly equal to the space between my car and the car in back. One guy asked me if it was a 5 inch differential between the car and curb. No, it was actually a 4 incher. I could have gone 3, but then you start getting interaction with the tires when you’re pulling out. I got a good start. My steering wheel was perfectly matched up to the steering wheel of the forward car, then I backed in – slowly, but not too slowly. I was about to loose it, when I suddenly banked the wheels just that extra little bit at the critical moment. I like to pull it forward just a little to straighten the tires before I shut the engine, too. The result? Solid, I tell you. It was real.

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I’m just waiting for a movie called “More CGI Penguins”, because that is clearly what the public is clamoring for.

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I impressed my wife with my hipness. We were watching CSI, and in the background was a song from Portisehead, that I correctly identified as being from their new CD. Then I took it a step too far and mentioned that I got it from the library. She basically said that someone bought the CD and then decided that it was such crap that it should be donated or chucked. She might have had a point. The song in question was being played in the background of a bondage-themed sex house. “Whip me, beat me, anything! Just don’t make me listen to that sh!tty Portisehead CD again!”

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I swear that it is as true as anything else on the internet, the soldiers at Guantanamo have been playing loud rock music to torture the enemies of America. Oh my gawd. What, like some waterboard-hardened, would-be-suicide-terrorist would be unnerved by Metallica’s “The Unforgiven III”? True enough, the Barney song would have me begging for stress positions in a hurry, but I can totally rock out to Sesame Street. You can’t break me, I was raised on that shiite! You heard me! Give it up for Big Bird and Bert the Bad@ss, y’all. Yeah, give it to me, G.I. Punk!

Really, when you consider that soldiers are really kids in their late teens to early thirties, the music isn’t anything that they, the soldiers aren’t listening to- very loudly.

Terrorist: “Please, Infidel, stop making me listen to the new Metallica! If it were the “Justice For All”, I could take it, preferably something from “Master of Puppets”. But I hardly recognize this band anymore! I’ll confess to anything! Just stop with these good bands past their prime!”