I got a phone call from the NRA last night. It was an “opinion” poll. First, I got to hear a taped diatribe about paranoid delusions from far right gun freaks. Then comes the “opinion” question “Do you think Hillary Clinton and the United Nations should be able to take away our rights?” My response: “You guys are full of crap.”
Every adult male in Iraq and Afghanistan carries a gun, and it doesn’t make either country any safer.
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I just learned that there are FIVE “Bring it On” movies. I am left wondering how many movies it will take before they finally bring it. You’d expect that it would be brought on maybe at the climax of the third movie, at least. That would make the additional two films more like “Brought It On” and “Take It Back”.
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There was a columnist who wrote that if anyone got up in front of a crowd and said that American health care was the best in the world, they’d get laughed off the stage. But then McCain and McConnell did just that and got applause. By what metric are they measuring, I want to know.
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I’m listening to a CD that seriously calls itself “The Most Relaxing Classical Album in the World -- EVER!” Well, my blood pressure was slowly dropping off with that lengthy and boring (yet somehow soothing) title – until they hit me with the “EVER!” part. No title with an exclamation point should purport itself to be “relaxing”. It scared me, dammit!
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Why must havoc always be wreaked? There’s not much else that is wreaked, save paths of destruction. But no one “makes havoc” or “prepares havoc”. Without wreaking, havoc could not occur. So, if you ever wish to prevent havoc, simply prevent wreaking.
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The Tea Party people seemed very concerned about the 37 new “czars”. They say that we’re not supposed to be old, imperialist Russia. The official title for them is actually “director” so what’s the hang up? What about the corporate world, run by Chief Executives? We’re being run by Indians? Why aren’t the cowboys better represented? Instead of COO, they should appoint someone called “Hoss”.
I think they may be biding their time before November, and they’re referring to the mid-term elections as “Judgment Day”. That’s kind of scary. If the Reps sweep into power, it will herald the destruction of life on Earth? What else could it mean? Don’t these idiots read that big book with the cross on it?
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I live in a dry county. I can go to Wal-Mart to buy weapons and ammunition, but not a six pack of beer.
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Iraq and Afghanistan have universal health care coverage – your tax dollars at work!
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To the chicken-hawks who advocate that church and state should be one and the same, I present the honorable Reverend Jesse Jackson. Actually, the next time I hear about how great church and state would go together, I’d like to direct them to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Iran doesn’t have universal health care and runs gays and minorities out of town,. Oh, if only we could implement Sharia law here in the US. Sigh. Oh well, until then, just say hello to Amadinijad for me, Mr. Cheney!
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My wife got the True Blood series on DVD from Netflix, and I watched it. I thought it was supposed to be about the secret lives of vampires, but it’s more focused on mortals who have no control over their libidos. Small town America, apparently, has nothing better to do than drink and fu*k. Aside from the murders, pettiness, poverty and of course, vampires, I’d go there.
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Sarah Palin is against combining many bank regulatory agencies into the Fed. “The words ‘fox’ and ‘henhouse’ come to mind.” Ok, I agree. No, wait, I don’t. Hold on, is the Fed the fox, the hen or the house? Which one is the bank? The money is… an egg? Do foxes eat eggs when they can eat chickens? Is Obama the farmer?
The other day, the punchline from Dilbert was “If you find a kettle of crazy, it’s better not to stir it up.
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Not surprisingly, recent college grads are having a rough time. I’ve always wondered how majors in obscure liberal arts like Women’s Literature ever got jobs even in good times. They work for 4 years aspiring to hang around highway exit ramps with a sign “Will critique lesbian authors for food”.
I know nothing about boring novels, but I will critique bad movies, music and TV shows – for free.
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An episode of True Blood has some girl getting her friend out of police custody. The cops point out that she isn’t a lawyer. So she gets on a high horse about “Law school is some place where white boys pay to have books read to them. I read the books myself and saved the money.” She goes on to display a brilliant legal strategy. “We’re leavin’. You got nothin’ on him.” Those silly white boy classes – ha! Turns out all you have to do is watch a few episodes of Law & Order. And I get the Cliff-notes version, so all I have to do is watch one episode of True Blood. And you only have to read this paragraph. Oh, those foolish white boy lawyers and their fancy degrees! Where will those get you? A six figure income? Oh yeah, that.
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Eeeaggh! I just got an email from someone in the department typed in all caps, Comic Sans, purple text, and 36 point font. She said “your” instead of “you’re”, “there” instead of “their”. Completely unprofessional, but she’s friendly. I’m sure she’ll get an award at our next meeting for something.
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