Superman would solve the mortgage crisis by kicking the Roman's asses

I saw “Superman Returns”. It was ok, but I have to call bullsh!t on Lex Luthor’s plan. He stole Superman’s crystals from his Fortress of Fortitude – I have no idea how he knew about it or found it – he wrapped the crystals in Kryptonite – and tossed it in the ocean. The crystals then assemble a huge palace in the sea. If Kryptonite destroys Superman’s powers, wouldn’t it destroy the power of the crystal, too?

This movie is the only time anyone has ever shot at Superman anywhere other than his big, red “S”. A criminal shot him in the eye. Slow motion showed the bullet crumples on the eye and bounces off. Seriously, guys, thank you for answering that nagging question.

Superman returns after a five year hiatus on the exact same day that Clark Kent does. But the reporters at the Daily Planet can’t make any connection.

Superman is probably the least interesting character of the major superheroes. Since he’s indestructible. He races into danger knowing that it poses no risk. He never seems to be caught in an ethical conflict, or face a challenge to which he doesn’t know right from wrong. Spiderman works for the guy who bedevils him with bad publicity. Batman watched his parents die. Daredevil was blind. Judge Dredd had the unfortunate fate of being played by Sylvester Stallone.

Superman doesn’t actually apprehend any criminals in this movie. The guy who shoots his eye? We’re just left to assume that he met with justice somehow. A gas main breaks and there’s fire coming up from the manhole covers all over Metropolis. Superman blows back the flames, but doesn’t fix the gas leak. Lex Luthor? Still on the loose. His henchmen die, but Lex escapes with his girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, saved the day. But you didn’t address the cause. One begins to wonder if he’s a do-nothing-Republican or a no-accountability-Democrat.
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Most of what I get when I critique the Republicans is a lecture on how bad the Dems are. It isn’t about the other party, it’s asking why the hell the Reps elect such morons all the time. I don’t want to know that the Dems are slightly more moronic or moronic in a different way. I want smart people to lead us and manage the country. Is it too much to ask that we vote for competence, and not elect someone just because they drive a pickup truck and talk like a reg’lr guy?

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Let’s play Republican blame game! Whose fault is the mortgage crisis? The borrowers? The Fed? The bankers? The bank regulators? The anti-regulators? Ha ha! It was Jimmy Carter! Yes, his 1977 Community Reinvestment Act sent us straight on a road to hell! Oh, no, never mind that if you got a mortgage during the Carter years, you probably paid it off by now. It was Jimmy! Of course, the CRA only applied to banks. Lehman Brothers wasn’t regulated by it, nor were Bear Sterns, American Home Mortgage or AIG, but it was the culprit all the same. Fannie and Freddie merely purchased the securities, and didn’t make the loans, so the CRA didn’t apply to them, either. But I tell you, it’s Jimmy Carter’s g*ddamn Community Reinvestment Act for sure.

To fill you in on the specifics, the CRA basically tells banks that they can’t discriminate against minorities when they apply for loans. It doesn’t say that they need to shred the existing rules and allow a family to put down a $500,000 income when they only make $50,000. It doesn’t say that they have to give a million dollar loan to a family that only makes $50,000. But it does say that you can’t approve a loan to a white family and disapprove an equal loan to a black family with equal income.
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So I got that old 1981 miniseries “Masada” from the library. It was good. I didn’t see his name, but Aaron Spelling’s influence was all over it. Not the slick 90120 Spelling, but the Fantasy Island / Love Boat Aaron Spelling era. Anyway, the whole production could have been retitled “Those Evil Romans!” The Romans all had British accents, and the Jews were all American. What were they trying to say?

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My religious neighbor is taking her kids to the Creationist Museum here in Kentucky. I also read in the paper about how the US is lagging behind the rest of the world in scientific education. No, of course the one has nothing to do with the other.

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Do you have Kohl’s Department Stores near you? My wife and I joke about the fact that every sale that they run is “The Lowest Prices of the Season/Year/Ever!!! Hurry!! Rush down to Kohl’s NOW!!!” But the way I figure, since every week they keep topping themselves, I’ll just wait until Christmas. By then, they will be handing stuff out for free. Or I can wait for next year when they actually start paying you to take their stuff.

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Every morning I pass a sign that advertises a “WALK OF DOOM” sponsored by the Pleasant Valley Church. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit of a juxtaposition?

I also wonder what kind of “doom” will be sponsored by a religious organization. Will it be a stroll past hellacious scenes from the Book of Revelations? That would actually be cool. But if it’s “doom” in a more spiritual sense, like a gay dude lusting in his heart. Watching that would be the complete opposite of cool. I don’t know how they could make a diorama of a fraudulent voter registration drive that could convincingly portray “doom”, but they’d probably throw that in anyway; along with pictures of undisturbed coastline that should be chock full of oil rigs. Well, one man’s doom is another’s pleasant valley, so the saying goes.

”Walk of Doom” could also be a reference to the Doom video game. Maybe they parade you past a couple of geeks blowing the crap out of other geeks’ characters on screen. It won’t be particularly scary, but it will be literally accurate.